Parenting partnerships and BM's trashy chic decor.
The several days we had the skids for spring break was so tiring and downright bad. It is wonderful having a quiet house again.
DH at one point told me he needs me to be a "better partner" with parenting and stop being afraid to discipline them. I guess SD was climbing onto the counter and I didn't correct her while DH was busy cooking dinner. I honestly tune out how out of control she is sometimes and I will be the first to admit I do let them walk all over me. I told him if he wants a "parenting partner" then he can learn how to keep track of their clothes and make sure they put their stuff from BM's in the designated bin where it belongs. Apparently that is too hard for everyone to remember. A partnership goes both ways.
When we dropped off skids, BM and the boyfriend had a new piece of decor on display that made me laugh out loud... a neon NFL Bud Light sign hanging in the living room window, front and center of the house.
Happy Monday Stalkers.
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Comments
Yup. He was mad because
Yup. He was mad because Friday I locked myself in my room at 3:00 PM and did not emerge until the next day. He won't admit he was mad but he had an attitude the next day and was "so exhausted." My "parenting" is optional and he struggles with accepting that. OH WELL, YOU HAD THOSE KIDS SWEETIE.
C L A S S Y
C L A S S Y
Right? I am so glad I went to
Right? I am so glad I went to drop off, seeing that cracked me up.
You can be a partner and it
You can be a partner and it truly work but you have to back each other and work together. If he saw daughter climbing on the counter then why didn't he correct it or ask then and there for your help.
If this happened in our place my partner it would play out like the following.
Dad to child, "Get off the counter." Most times kid listens and gets down. If not Dad to child, "Get down now or you'll be in time out," Still doesn't listen by now I've already stood up if I've been near enough to know it's happening. Me to child "Get down and go to corner," and if need be I'll carry them to the corner. This is both of us working as a team. Dad set the limit and I helped enforce because yeah he can't just leave the stove. He may have to shout for me if I'm in the bedroom but there is no disagreement later.
Now on the other hand you either are helping or not. If you do sometimes then don't others it can create confusion for not only the adults but the kids. If you don't normally help then swoop in kids are resentful. If you do help then randomly don't partner wonders what the hell happened. You guys need clear guidelines of what you will and won't do.
No you're not required to help but it's nice if everyone knows what they can depend on.
I think he does want me to
I think he does want me to back him up more and I probably could step it up a bit because I am too relaxed with them, which bites me in the ass now because they walk all over me.
The bitter part of me wants to walk away and let him deal with it all, but I know that will cause issues in our relationship. He made it clear from day 1 he wanted to parent them together. He knows I am not mom and he said if I need a break to tell him and he will always make sure I get a break (SD follows me around)... but actual disengagement would be a deal breaker for him (well, especially with them being both young... probably wouldnt matter as much if they were older).
So who was parenting them
So who was parenting them while he was on drugs? I'm guessing it was you. You have done more than your fair share. You had his back when he was incapable of caring for another human being. Now that he is sober, it's time for him to step up. If it's a deal breaker for him that you won't parent another person's children, then so be it.
I would be pretty suspicious of a man that made it clear from day one that I was expected to play mommy. Hell, I made it clear on day one to my current boyfriend that I do not expect him to parent my kids and that anything he does for them is appreciated and not expected.
Yup. I have done more than my
Yup. I have done more than my fair share and I don't miss an opportunity to remind him of who stood up when he was at his worst.
I think he is more concerned with my lack of standing up for myself because his youngest is getting out of control.
Just a tan ranch with all
Just a tan ranch with all blinds always closed. Nothing special - the neon sign really spruced it up.
What is with these men
What is with these men wanting their wife to be the disciplinarian of kids that are. not.theirs?????? Listen, I don't like disciplining ANY kid that isn't mine! Maybe I'm weird, but if my nieces were at my house, I would let them get away with a lot more than my BS7, because it feels weird to me to discipline someone else's kid! And I sure as shit wouldn't discipline them if their parent was right there.?!
Do these men not understand this?? Not your kid, not your problem to discipline! Ugh
I don't want to discipline
I don't want to discipline any kids that are not mine, either. Which leaves my dog, Mr. P!
My rule was always "If you don't discipline your kids, they are no longer welcome." Too damn bad I cannot ban the skids...