The SD Chronicles
Last night when I got home from work SD called me into her room and shut the door to "tell me something."
She came close to me and spoke in a hushed voice, with her rancid breath.( I really wish BM focused more on teaching them good hygiene. :sick: )
Apparently, her best friend's mom died at age 33, suddenly. The kids found out at school. SD visibly upset said to me "she's only 8 with no mom!" She got teary eyed and snuggled up to me. Hard stuff to deal with at her age.
Then she said that her friend is living with her grandma because "she never sees her dad, like me." (???) I asked her what she meant by that, since she sees her dad every week and stays over EOW. She kind of backtracked and said she meant that her friend sees her dad "like once a month" and "he isn't nice."
Then she tells me the friend has a stepmom and the stepmom doesn't want the stepkids over the house. She looks at me for my reaction and says how bad that is and how that would be like me, not letting her come over.
The whole conversation was very odd. SD tests me a lot, I feel.
I switched subjects and asked her if she wanted to see Beauty and the Beast together this weekend and she said mom told her she wanted to take her to see that. I said ok, go with mom, no biggie. She said no, I want to go with you! Mom won't take me for weeks; I am going with you. I dropped it at that point and we went and ate dinner.
I am obviously not taking her... last thing I need to deal with is irate BM messaging me "HOW DARE YOU." I hate situations like this.
Anyway, that was my evening. All SS said to me was "Hi! Love you!" and continued playing with his friend. Is it just me or are boys way easier? He can be a punk but overall he is just far less complicated. I think if my body cooperates, that someday I would like a boy.
- AJanie's blog
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Comments
AJ - you asked SD to the
AJ - you asked SD to the movies... you take her.... ignore BM.....
but if you don't take this girl now you will regret it later, she will always blame you, simply pretend you did not know BM planned taking her.
Yes boys are easier, much much easier
back to the movies, make it a family outing.... DH, SS ,SD and you
SS is TOO COOL for Beauty and
SS is TOO COOL for Beauty and the Beast, Acra! :O
I wanted to see it, was my all time favorite moving as a kid, maybe I will go alone
you can't AJ - SD is of age
you can't AJ - SD is of age where she remembers these sort of things, by the time she's 16 this will be such a big issue for her, you invited her, bite your lip and take her....
DH and SS can go with and look at a boys movie lol.....
You really think so? I can
You really think so? I can already see it... BM will lose her mind. SD will say "I told AJ that you wanted to take me, but she wanted to take me too...." Then I will get a flood of text messages from BM.
DH thinks I should take her.
who cares about BM.....
who cares about BM..... simply block her from contacting you she can bug DH lol
so what if SD tells BM I told AJ you are taking me... you simply say - yes after I bought the tickets it was to late..
then say BM you can take her again, little girls can watch it 10 times
Who care who takes her????
Who care who takes her???? Why can't both of you take her??? Most kids I know have no problem seeing a movie they love more than once.
That's what I was thinking.
That's what I was thinking. My kids/grandkids would go see it (or different movie/event) over and over again if someone would take them. It's like buying a dvd...you watch it more than once.
Hmm... maybe you're right. I
Hmm... maybe you're right. I just always back way off when I hear BM plans to do something with her because of the nail incident (when I took her for her nails painted before Easter last year and BM lost her mind - sent me a harassing message about what a selfish horrible person I was for taking HER daughter for her nails, when that is HER thing she does with HER daughter.) It ruined my Easter.
I figured it's not worth it anymore. SD and I go to the library together, so far that is the only thing BM hasn't taken issue with. Probably because she can't read.
Could you take her to another
Could you take her to another movie instead? I would be a bit hesitant to intentionally take a kid to a movie the mother already said she wanted to take the girl to see.
It's only a matter of time
It's only a matter of time until BM tells her I was a homewrecker. Even though she ended the relationship and hid her pregnancy from him until she found out the gender. I know she can't wait until SD is of age to learn about what a whore AJ is
The breath, plaque on the
The breath, plaque on the teeth and the dirty scalp. So gross. She is so cute, it's a shame. She showered and brushed last night - that will have to suffice until she's back this weekend, lol.
You're reaching, Heavenlike.
You're reaching, Heavenlike. He sees them Wednesdays and EOW and ALWAYS enforces good hygiene. They spend much more time with mom, and as much as DH tries to be a role model for good hygiene and talk to them about it - they are still young and they still don't like showers. Mom doesn't keep up on their hygiene as well as (IMO) she should, but that is not a hill anyone is willing to die on.
I did not thrust the child
I did not thrust the child from my vagina, so I should retreat back to the shadows where I belong.
dupe
dupe
I'd take the girl to the
I'd take the girl to the movie. Why the hell not? It's a movie and it's not BM's right to take her... SM is a part of the girl's life too, and the child clearly wants to go with SM.
OP, take your stepdaughter... You might be surprised to find that you have a good time. I take my 5 year old stepdaughter all sorts of places and it's a lot of fun. She's actually quite the little mini-me these days. Her favourite place is the same as mine: sephora
she comes with me on all my makeup shopping trips!
If BM's have such a problem with their kids spending time with their stepmother, they shouldn't of gotten a divorce. Unfortunately that's what happens when you divorce, your kids tend to bond with their other parent's spouse, too. It's not a big deal.
The only time I saw SD
The only time I saw SD behaving like me, was when she wanted to wear all black and put on my lip gloss before a holiday dinner last year.
BM usually has her in navy blue and polka dots.
It was a proud stepmonster moment.
Heavenlike - in a perfect
Heavenlike - in a perfect world the mother has every single right to every first, every special moment, every movie, everything. HOWEVER, this LITERALLY cannot work in a divorce situation (or in my case, a break up - BM and DH were never married).
The stepmom will experience something with the child along the way that will upset the BM, it is just the nature of the beast. BM has to get over it, or at least tolerate it, for her own mental health and for the health of her kids.
Same here. I waited 4 months
Same here. I waited 4 months past the time when it was obvious that SD needed to be wearing a bra. Then said F it and took her myself. I can't count how many times I've had to step up and be mom because BM is too worried about the bar and her latest boy toy.
Also, Heavenlike, BM's
Also, Heavenlike, BM's boyfriend took SS to his very first pro football game. DH didn't fuss about it - his response: oh well, the boyfriend beat him to it, hope SS had fun.
I was harassed for several hours by BM for taking SD to have her nails painted. Something she has done with her daughter several times already.
Do you see the hypocrisy there at all?
This!!!!
This!!!!
Yes, I am pregnant with my
Yes, I am pregnant with my first child. And quite honestly, I wouldn't be "detracting" from all of BM's experiences if BM gave a shit to have them. She feels SD ruined her life and body and she has barely any interest in being involved with her "until she's a teenager when they have more in common"
Maybe don't be so quick to judge. Not all BMs give a shit about their kids and sometimes stepmoms HAVE TO step up otherwise they get the joy of watching their stepkid beg for motherly attention but never get it.
And IF god forbid I ever divorce and my child ends up with a stepmom, I hope to god they're a stepmom like me and genuinely care about said child and enjoy spending time with said child. I hope that stepmom doesn't look at my child with annoyance all the time and constantly try to get out of spending time with them.
If my child EVER has a stepmom, I hope they take my child to movies and bring them makeup shopping and do all sorts of fun stuff with my child; because if my child EVER has a stepmom, it's because I obviously made a wrong turn and didn't stay with their father; thus opening up the door for step-life. And I hope it's as good as it possibly can be because we all know step-life can be hard for everyone involved.
LOL if BM decides to become
LOL if BM decides to become MOTY and tells me to back off, that's just too damn bad for her. I've been the only consistent mother my stepdaughter knows since she was just over a year old. Those really AREN'T her things - those things go to the mother figure the child's had her whole life.
I've EARNED the right to get those firsts more than BM. Sorry to say but simply pushing a child out of your vagina doesn't give you any rights to call yourself a mother and get those mother-daughter firsts.
If that's what my stepdaughter wants, than by all means, that's how it'll go, but I have a feeling kids aren't dumb and they know who's raised them, especially if you've raised them right. Believe me, I'm fairly confident my heart won't be getting ripped out.
My stepdaughter has been taught BY ME to respect people and appreciate the things they do for you. At 5 years old, she's the most compassionate, kind-hearted person I've ever met, and BM gets absolutely NO credit for that.
You've never had to share
You've never had to share your kids, have you? I don't really know your backstory, but I'm thinking it's always been just you and your kids for years. If I'm correct and recalling right, how on earth would you have ever gotten through having an involved father (let alone a SM) in your children's lives?
I was speaking to Heavenlike.
I was speaking to Heavenlike. I don't think there were two parents around. IIRC she never had to share, not as a divorced mom, a wife with a husband/dad around or as anything but 'me and my kids'.
I don't believe she knows it is not normal to think a mother and her child and only a mother and her child can have shared loving bonds and experiences.
Then BM should have not
Then BM should have not divorced. Period. Divorced parents have to give certain things up. Its just the way life is.
Yep, AJanie, you had better
Yep, AJanie, you had better get an email out to grandparents, aunts and uncles alerting them NOW that taking your kid to a movie better not be on their damn mind because by God, YOU are the only one qualified for this activity.
Stupidest shi* I've heard all day.
I took my little brother to the beach before my parents did and I also put the first lemon wedge in his mouth when he was a baby; SHOCKING to find out today that I ruined my mothers "first right of passage".
LOL, yes.
LOL, yes.
Ya, I am sure that the Beauty
Ya, I am sure that the Beauty and the Beast movie is a priority on a parents first rite of passage list. :?
Heaven... come on now. Going
Heaven... come on now. Going to see a movie is not a rite of passage.
First haircut
Getting ears pierced
First bra
First Prom
Things like that are rites of passage. A movie? No. My son loves Star Wars, we watch all the new movies when they come out. Can't wait for the next one in December! But if someone else wanted to take him to see it?? I would not care in the least. I'd just make him go watch it with me again, so that I could see it and he would for sure be thrilled to see it again.
That movie has been out for a
That movie has been out for a week. If BM was hell bent on taking her, she would have done so already. Take the girl to the movie. If you don't she will not trust you to keep your word.
Why isn't BM blocked from your phone? And why do you even care if she has a hissy fit. Let her have one, who cares?
Yes you should take her, as
Yes you should take her, as she said BM won't do it for weeks and may not altogher.
I'm the only constant in SDs life. She even told BM, in front of a mutual friend of BMs and me, that I was the only 'mother' that was there for her. I don't bitch about it, I don't say wait until I get my free check on the first of a month, I work and BM is on disability. I don't worry about any of that anymore bc if BM wanted to take her, she would have already made definite plans to do it.