AJ the zen master - update
My 14 days of zen wasn't exactly 14 full days - I think I made in to 12 before I had a wine induced meltdown. AJ+ pinot grigio + empty stomach = psychotic episode.
Things have still been difficult, but where there used to be a lot more slammed doors and silences, there is more talking or simply "letting things go."
I reached my limit as far as the worker's comp/unemployed DH situation. After they cut off his benefits things went from bad to worse. We had a "come to Jesus" discussion over the weekend after I (literally) sprung out of bed and decided things had to change. I couldn't stand one more night of tossing and turning. Over breakfast we discussed our future and then sat on speaker phone with the admissions office at the tractor trailer school. We have an appointment today to go together to the school to find out if they can work with us on a payment plan to get DH through the 6 week program and placed in a J O B.
Although it seems impossible right now, being behind on bills, and with child support always there to make life harder... I suppose where there is a will there is a way. I am hoping the school can work with us.
I have cut costs basically everywhere I can (T Mobile has a special, 2 phone lines unlimited text, talk, data for $100 just FYI) and I feel as long as DH and I can continue to work together instead of being enemies under one roof, we should be able to pull through.
This weekend we have the skids and SS's birthday is fast approaching. DH never wants the skids to "feel" or see our financial struggle, but sometimes you just can't do as much as you'd like. Last year we did cake at home and he got a scooter and a helmet. This year we will do a cake and allow him to have a friend sleep over.
SS wants a macbook desperately. We could not do it for Christmas and will not be able to for his birthday. The kid scans ebay and amazon for low priced macbooks for hours when he is here, and excitedly shows us when he finds a "good one" for cheap. I know it makes DH feel downright awful. BUT I allow SS access to my laptop and he has his ipod - this child is not rich but he is also not deprived. Maybe it is because he isn't my bio, but I don't feel bad. We do what we can!
Sorry for the rambling. Thanks for the continued support and Happy Monday.
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Comments
It's okay for kids to learn
It's okay for kids to learn about financial struggles. They shouldn't have to worry about basic necessities - but it's better for a child to understand the concept of there not always being money for one's wants. It can be a great motivator for later success in life.
STB 11. I don't think that
STB 11. I don't think that is a bad idea. I am sure he will get a little bit of birthday money from family members.
Don't feel bad at all. 11
Don't feel bad at all. 11 year olds don't need their own computers and certainly not a $1500-$2000 personal laptop. That's not a poor thing...that's just common sense. I would never, ever hand an 11-year-old an expensive piece of equipment like that. It will get broken, period.
I also don't like kids having unfettered access to the Internet at all times. But maybe I'm not up with the times.
**Edited to add. My skids have asked for MacBooks and iPhones at young ages, too...claiming they need it for school or safety. That is bs, of course. A simple phone will do, and every school has plenty of computers for homework. At my kids' schools, they can even check out a laptop and other equipment like digital cameras, etc. for projects. They don't even know WHY they want these things, just that it seems cool. None of our kids got a cell phone until JR. High and no smart phone until mid-high school. They were the ONLY kids in the ENTIRE school who didn't have iPhones at 8 or 9, apparently, and were so embarrassed about it. I guess I'm mean but I simply didn't care. New iPhones are $600-700. My grad school car cost less than that...and I used to to get to class and earn a living. Sure, you can "finance" the phone at $20 a month (x3 kids) for the next 4 years. Sounds great to me. Even waiting until they were 15 to give them iPhones and waiting until they graduated high school to allow their grandparents to spoil them with a computer "for college" -- they've still managed to waste money and destroy these things. Can't tell you how many phone screens we've been through...and OSD, at 18, spilled hot chocolate all over her barely-a-year Macbook.
FYI, My current desktop Mac set-up cost was about $800, and I've had it for 5.5 years now with no incidents. I work remotely on a personal Chromebook that was about $200. So, for less than the cost of 2 iPhones over the course of the past 6-ish years, I've earned 5K or more a month. Pretty good ROI. What are my skids going to do with their $700 pocket computers and $1500-2000 personal laptops? Snapchat each other and sit around watching YouTube videos, most likely.
Agree with the poster who says SS should work toward what he wants. You should also maybe talk to him about his expectations in general. I don't think it would have occurred to me to want something that expensive when I was 10.
Oh lord, truck driving school
Oh lord, truck driving school is not a good idea if you are broke. I know from experience. My junkie ex went through one of those schools that was sponsored by a big trucking company. They pay the tuition and you work for them for a year. They don't tell you that once you start, you make $300 a week. You have to buy your own food on the road and pay any expenses you might have. Showers at truck stops are about $10 a pop. This is why trucking companies and school have recruiters. It sounds much better on the phone than it really is. Proceed with caution.
Besides.. I also get the
Besides.. I also get the feeling that there are certain people who sort of kick the can down the road a bit on things.
Oh.. in order to get a job I need to take X training...
My DH's Ex was all about the schemes to make money.
He paid for her to start nursing school several times. He bought her an expensive embroidery machine so she could do that business.. He paid for her to get her real estate license etc.. With new BF, she bought a photobooth, got the guy to lease a photo studio for her to run her business out of.. she has done Team America, Scentsy and a few other multilevel marketing things.
It was always.. once I start "this" I will be happy, stay employed and everything will be great!
Yeah there are people like
Yeah there are people like that. This will be the only time he has gone to school and he has not sold scentsy or tried to start random businesses. If he drops out and decides to be a photographer, we will have problems. Until then, I support it.
Of course there are always
Of course there are always scams. The school services 3 states in our area and certifies people in HVAC and CDL A & B. There is also job placement. We know someone who went through the school. The cost is a little over $5,000 with payment plans and some opportunity for agency financial aid. We will discuss all of this today.
He needs more certification to get a better paying job. He worked at a tree company before he landed at the last job doing road work. He simply doesn't have the skills to easily snatch up another high paying job in our area. I think this may be a good opportunity for him and it is something he has wanted to do since he got his class B license years ago.
Well, good luck to him. He's
Well, good luck to him. He's going to need it. The only places that hire new drivers are the big trucking companies so he will be on the road for 1-2 months at a time making $300 a week for about 6 months. I worked for one of the largest trucking companies in the country and I knew the recruiters that hired these poor saps right out of school.
But on the other hand, you'll have months away from the step kids!
Thank you! I am thinking of
Thank you! I am thinking of calling the bank I go through with my car loan. I have never missed a payment in 2 years, it would be nice to catch a break this month.
AJ - do what I did and simply
AJ - do what I did and simply tell SS... sorry kiddo we can't afford it right now...
There's no shame in not having a bag full off cash,