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smomofone's picture

For those with facebook. Have you seen this group?

I get it some dads are dead beats. But why doe I feel like half those women on there are complaining about the deadbeats and in the next breath, trying to sabotage the relationship of their child and their father...smdh!

https://www.facebook.com/ChildSupportYouOweItPayIt/

Comments

smomofone's picture

the memes on there. :jawdrop:

I should stop reading before I get ticked off haha

notasm3's picture

I despise REAL deadbeat dads (and mothers). But I would never allow random BMs to tag men as being deadbeat dads because they do not say how high when they say jump.

All too many of these hobag BMs are quick to toss out the term "deadbeat dad" to a man who pays every penny of CS on time because he won't subsidize her lazy ass lifestyle while she is working her ass off to PAS their children.

Unfortunately there are way too many men who walk away totally from the children they have sired. I'd never deny that this exists. I've seen it over and over again. Even many of these men who pay their CS just walk away from their children. Been happening forever. Not new at all.

Even a parent who pays adequate CS can be a "deadbeat parent" if they never see their child or take any interest in their life.

But it seem like at least 50% of the women throwing around the term "deadbeat dad" are not referring to a man who pays no CS or who attempts to have a relationship with his children.

smomofone's picture

I am of the same mind frame.

I was reading some posts on there, people where calling the dads deadbeats because they wanted to know what the CS money is spent on. I am all for BM's having to be transparent with how they use that money. Heck I would even agree that the CS paying parent also show how much he spends at home for the child. Make it fair.

On that note, I also see why some dads just wash their hands from the situation. Sometimes these BM's make life so miserable, alienate the children that the father has no other choice than to walk away for his own sanity(while still paying) it sucks. Wish people would really stop and think and do whats really best for the child.

I am so glad our BM(well SD's BM) is pretty easy to deal with now. We had our issues in the past but now both her and SO parent independently and together as well. SO pays quite a bit in CS but we are ok with it, since it really does go to her now.

I guess it helps that BM now has to deal with her SO's 8 other kids and 3 other BM's. She gets it now.

On this page there are some people who stick up for fathers and they get chewed out and told you should have picked a better mother for your child....all the while condemning those who tell them they should have done the same...oh the GUBM's!

ESMOD's picture

I remember a time (when BM would still talk to me) that she beggggged to have some of her child support early so that she could pay some DR bill or whatnot. Well, my DH did give her an advance of like 200 dollars. When it came time to pay the actual child support, I sent her a message (because I did all our banking because my DH worked on the water and didn't have cell phone coverage) that "Hey BM, I am going to go deposit your money today. It is going to be X... because DH already paid you 200."

She then shot back a text that "it better be the FULL amount. That CHEAP ASS needs to help pay for YSD's Competition Cheer Fees"

Now, I will tell you that my DH didn't want her to do competition cheer for several reasons. 1. we weren't doing super well financially at the time and it was a luxury. 2. She has epilepsy and we were paying medical bills from that. (BM wasn't even paying her half) 3. She has epilepsy and he was afraid she would have a seizure doing stunts and get hurt. 4. He had already told BM he didn't want her to do it and wasn't going to pay for it... and this was just a backdoor way of squeezing the money out of him.

In the end, he ended up just telling me to pay the full amt. BUT, she screwed herself on getting CS early from that point on.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

"...hobag BMs are quick to toss out the term "deadbeat dad" to a man who pays every penny of CS on time because he won't subsidize her lazy ass lifestyle while she is working her ass off to PAS their children..."

You said it, notasm3.

THIS is the crap that BioHo has pulled over the years. The skids always need more money for this, that, and the other thing. Clothes were the absolute worst and SD20 was especially bad - "going 'Ho" on my DH that he needed to pay 'Ho more money because SDthen16 NEEDED $120 jeans or $100 sneakers. It was usually what SD wanted and, on rare occasion, that the boys needed clothes. It came to a screeching halt when SD found out exactly how much CS 'Ho was receiving every month. SD then started yelling at 'Ho about "..spending MY money on YOUR sh!t!". SD has never again told DH he HAS to pay more money to 'Ho.

Meanwhile, 'Ho gets weekly mani/pedis, clothes shops from pricey catalogs (including Frederick's of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret bras), has her hair professionally dyed whorey blonde and must have regular touchups to cover the black roots, gets her moustache waxed, and has acquired several tattoos. She could NEVER afford this on her salary. When PrincASS17 ages out next year, 'Ho is in for one mega-ugly reality check.

ntm's picture

I can't read anymore of that BS. It's pissing me the feck off knowing that BM is probably a rooting member of that group.

DaizyDuke's picture

Me too! I read a couple memes and a few comments and wanted to severely beat someone about the head and neck. What about the piece of shit BM's that A LOT of us have had to deal with that have no problem collecting every damn penny and more of their CS, but when rolls are reversed, can't pay a damn dime. SD lived with us for 2 years and guess how much CS DH got from BM? Zero.

smomofone's picture

It's pretty bad. Some men have gone on there and talked about their "deadbeat BM's" and still get their behinds chewed up and told off

Acratopotes's picture

I'm not even going to read it now...... my view is way different then most people's

I will never beck for money, yes it's 2 people who created life and one person walks away... I will never ask that person for 2cents......

I believe in Karma, and one day the dead beat person will have to answer the higher hand, not me..

Disneyfan's picture

The people on that page are not talking about responsible fathers who are involved and supporting their children.

Are we really going to pretend that every father out there is doing right by his children? If we are, then have to pretend that every mother is putting the interest of her children ahead of her wants/anger.

Like it or not,some men and women are useless parents. If the men and women who are stuck dealing with their sorry butts want to talk crap about them on social media, more power to them.

smomofone's picture

I get that. But if you go through the page you will notice many times if its a male talking about a deadbeat mom he gets chewed up and told suck it up you should have picked a better mother. I know there are plenty of men who are deadbeats....but there are just as many bms who claim the BDs are deadbeats yet they sabbotage the childs relationship with their father out of spite

Disneyfan's picture

A mother trying to destroy a father's relationship with their kids isn't in the same boat as a mother bitching about a deadbeat dad.

One has a valid reason for her anger. The other is just being a bitch.

Women who pulled a dude from the bottom of the barrel when they picked men to have kids with, shouldn't have to be silent just because some bitchy mothers are on a mission to destroy their exs