We try our hardest to let her know she can do anything. I only want the best for her. I want her to succeed. Her mother isn't the best example. She is the example of trailer park trash, I wish I was making that up. She dropped out of school has four kids and lives in a single wide trailer with nine other people. I never mention anything about her being like her mother to her or much of anyone else. I don't have to because everyone already knows how the mother is. Her own family doesn't agree. The reason I did this on my blog is I see a trend happening lately. She is wanting to dress like her(not modest and not of the greatest hygiene) and she told me she wanted children young like her mother. Her mother was 17 and so was her mother and her great grand mother who was 16. So in my SD eyes she is seeing this as being a normal thing. With the history and already so much that the mom has exposed her to that is where my fear comes from.

I wish it was me just defending the boys it would be much easier to say that. Here are some examples of recently:

DH was running to the store and oldest boy said can I come with you? he said no your room isn't clean so then SD asked and he said yeah I said well wait her room isn't clean either(in his ear where they couldn't hear). He said oh well she can clean it when she gets back.

We were doing yard work and we were all outside. Well SD claimed she was tired (shes almost five years older than the others). So he said go in and lay down. Middle child who is five said im tired too daddy and he said well your almost done then you can go inside.

Grades- first grader dropped from a 4 to a 3 in one area which is still above grade average he gets grounded for a week and no video games. SD dropped two grades from letter grade C to both Ds. Nothing happens. So this was one of our first talks about that. She is in fifth grade and he is in first although on different grading scales he was still above grade average meaning he is still advanced. She is now failing.

I just fear he may feel sorry for her and doesn't want to talk with her on it. I wish it was a natural thing for me to favor my kids that would be easier to say it was a natural thing. I want SD to do great things because she is capable of anything but if DH continues on this path I fear the worse. I say this because I am a school teacher and I know where this leads. I have seen where this leads. Any parent that no longer wants to push a child to do better whether school grades or sports begins to fall rather than achieve. If a parent just gives in or gives up the result is almost never promising. Im sorry if this sounds wrong to anyone but this is purely because I do want great things for her but with a poor example for a mother and a giving in father I do worry a lot about her. I love enough to care this much. I could simply not care. I am grateful for the structure we give the boys because they will do great things I want the same for her.