This Bitch just does NOT GET IT! Text messages after talking to Skids on the phone.
Someone Please talk me down. I'm fucking furious and DO Not WISH to engage but I'm ready to go OFF!
So after the incident the last time she came over "to see her kids" (I'm pretty sure she knows that we know what she was doing). anyways.. The situation today is this:
BM called to talk to the SK's, she hung up on them (insert shock face and eyeroll here, nothing new) Then the "poor please pity me" texting starts from her or whoever she is shacked up with today because the texts didn't look completely like this: oaihnfoah8940w80wruljrnlkn$$$4.l66kktoa[I
So... The situation, over the last 2 years BM has tried to get out of her visits by asking SK's and asking DH and I if they want to see her. She has even done this after getting off of the phone with them saying "hey, I'll be there to see you this weekend, I can't wait" then she will text us right after asking if they want to see her like she's trying to get us to say no they don't. We have never fallen for it. We usually ignore. Over the last 2 years I have explained to her through text and DH has explained to her on the phone "It's not up to the kids, It's up to you.. as the adult to want to see your kids" numerous times.
It's like her memory wipes clean or she thinks we have forgotten... probably a mix of both but who knows with this level of BSC.
After getting off of the phone with SK's she sends 3 texts.
1) I need 2 know if they want me 2 come enot wasting gas if they dont i want 2 talk and see them more have a great evenin
2)luv them hurts me not 2 get 2
3)2 talk 2 them.
Puuulease Bitch Monster.. You just hung up on them because they weren't kissing your ass and you want me to feel sorry for your dumbass!
I know I don't post a lot but if I did with all of this mess, I would be filling up the blog and annoying everyone. I have been disengaged from communication from BM unless it has to do with the kids BC I am filing harassment as soon as these visits are switched to the facility... if ever! I have not responded to any of these messages and I'm trying not to but she pisses me off so bad sometimes. She wants to make it look like it's our fault her kids don't want to see her but in reality, she can't even come to see her kids sober... I'm livid. I don't know where to turn. DH thinks I'm nuts for even giving a fuck about what she texts or VM's but this effects us wether he knows it or not. & the kids most of all.
This was mostly a vent and I have deleted most of my past blogs about my situation due to a troll who I thought from the text talk it may have been one of BM's "friends".
Please someone give me strength, input, TELL ME TO get over it, document and leave it alone... I don't care what... I cannot take anymore of her. Slap me in the face if you have to.. Lol. I don't plan to respond but I have a whole fucking lot to say to this never has been mom.
If you made it through this, thank you and thanks in advance for any feedback. DH just made me a margarita to calm me down.. but he just doesn't get why it bothers me so much. I don't know what to do.
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It bothers you because it
It bothers you because it makes your skin crawl. I get it.
Why is she still coming to your home for visits? I would say hell no to that.
Yeah you're right it makes my
Yeah you're right it makes my skin crawl after all of the things I have seen that have gone on, after the fact while I'm watching the videos.
She's still coming here because she won't sign the agreement even though her pro bono attorney who took her on when he felt sorry for her (I'm sure she had a whole lotta lies for him) he lowered her amount to $20 a visit to see her kids at the facility... DH and I are stuck paying the rest. She is saying she can't the $20 even after she agreed to it in court! He is trying everything to get her to sign the agreement so he can drop her.
I soooo wish I could just stop doing it.. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much.. She isn't planning on coming anyways. She always asks SK's, especially the oldest of hers, if she wants her to come. SD's response: If you have some good toys for me :jawdrop: then says bye and throws the phone down... then BM hangs up while YSK is still on the phone
. SHe acts like calling is a chore. She acts like seeing her kids is a chore. I really just wish she would leave them alone. Fall off of the face of the earth. Take her fake cancer and fake her death. Drink and pill herself out of the country... whatever she wants to do... just leave them alone. SHe only hurts them. I have known these kids since they were babies. She asked about my baby being allergic to diapers the last time she was here, then told me about what kind of diapers she used with her kids bc they were allergic to such and such brand... um LIE... I used to change their diapers and bought their diapers at times.. I was reimbursed through my now MIL whom DH gave the money to. Didn't even know what effing brand of diapers they wore!
I'm sorry, Just having a hard time right now. Thank you.
I'm not worried about contempt but then again, I am. If they just looked at my videos they would see that it needs to be handled by a pro. I was diagnosed about 6 months ago with PTSD just from dealing with the scum of a GUBM.
I'm SO Sorry for rambling.. My anxiety meds don't even work anymore.. I have no place else to turn at this point. Thank you for your repy
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. Money well spent. She needs to go bye bye.
We offered that a already. We
We offered that a already. We can't have anything changed until we get back in the courtroom.
That's what I normally do
That's what I normally do after documenting and a quick snapshot. Then I move on with my day.. but I have a hard time with it sometimes.
Yeahhh I would respond back
Yeahhh I would respond back something nasty so my advice is to find an alcoholic drink and drink for the both of us because that biotch is a worthless piece of garbage. If only she would just choose a side: BM that forgets her kids exist versus BM that reminds everyone her kids are hers and that she exist...sucks you deal with both all wrapped in one
Oh I know! I can't figure it
Oh I know! I can't figure it out!! I stopped trying a long time ago but GAh .. I tried to help her, I gave her advice in the beginning. She really just needs to go away. Not because I'm sick of her... These kids would be much better off.
She reminds everyone in her circle that the kids are hers and she is in their lives. In reality, she really isn't. She can take all of the pictures she wants from my FB (someone else does it, I have her blocked) and act like she was there, they aren't her memories with them and she knows it.
I have never understood your
I have never understood your situation and think the judge that did this to you is a complete moron. BM is a bitch. For your own sanity you need to figure out a way to handle this that will work for you.
My suggestion would be to limit contact with BM as much as possible - which I realize you are trying to do. I can't remember, are the phone calls court ordered? If not, I would eliminate them.
It is not up to the kids if she comes or not and you don't want to create that dynamic. So don't answer that question at all. Instead, either the day before, or after the phone call, send her a text or email along these lines:
The children will be available for visitation on (day and date) between the hours of x and x.
Then there is no further conversation. You have it documented that you were willing for visitation to take place. Ignore all texts and emails. Let the phone calls go to voice mail.
The only way I can see for you to keep your sanity is to ignore the whore as much as you possibly can. I get why you are upset - I would be too. I am not good at all at not letting things get to me. I would find it difficult to follow my own advice!
I feel for you. I don't think very many women could handle this whole fucked up mess as well as you do.
Thank You... that judge
Thank You... that judge recently retired.
The phone calls are court ordered twice weekly. I'm not sure why she even calls, I know she thinks she is court ordered to call or she will be in contempt. She threatened not to call them ever again and I told her that was her choice after her third threat of it.
I told her before that it wasn't up to the kids, it's up to her to want to see them, she is the adult. She kept doing it, I ignored, She then used the kids as an excuse as to why she didn't come. That was a year ago and I let her know how pathetic that was.
I would always text her the day before her scheduled visit day and sometimes she would say she was coming and not show up, sometimes I would get a response 30 minutes before the visit was to start and sometimes NO response at all. They made it a rule that she is to let us know if she is visiting 24 hours in advance and if she doesn't, we don't have to wait for her so I don't do that anymore. And most of the time she said she was coming, she never showed up. She would even call sometimes and say she was 5 minutes away and then not a word from her to her kids for a month.
She tried to pull a fast one once, she told us and the kids that she wasn't coming and she showed up. She has tried everything for DH and I to be in contempt. She thinks if he is found in contempt, she will get the kids.
She really is a piece of work.
I am working with the counselor on the phone call situation. The way she talks to them is totally uncalled for. I was told to video record their actions which I haven't done yet, the kids are already on edge when she calls.. I don't want to make it worse. I thought about acting like I was playing a game on the iPad but actually recording.
In retrospect, I figured I
In retrospect, I figured I wasn't telling you anything that you didn't already know or hadn't already tried. Your situation is one of the worst on the site.
Could you get a "nanny cam" of some sort and make sure the kids are within range when they call?
Maybe a new judge will help?
the nanny cam thing is
the nanny cam thing is actually a better idea. Thanks! Oh I really hope the new judge will help. New to being a judge period so I'm really not sure. I don't know anything about her.
There is a blog today from
There is a blog today from asgoodasitgets who just got a new judge who really came down on BM in court. Maybe the same will finally happen for you!
Thank You I just read that
Thank You I just read that and I really hope so. Now to just get back in the courtroom! BM's atty is her pro bono that got her out of jail so, he's trying everything he can to drop her. They don't do pro bono in my state for family law. She must have fed him a really long line. LOL.