Feeling a little sorry for DH and OSS
So, after all the legal hoopla with DH and BM arguing about which high school to send the skids to (his vs hers) when they are done with private elementary school, they are going to BMs HS. Glad there's finally an answer. So are the skids...they are glad there's a resolution.
This week was OSSs events/celebrations at school for all the kids moving on to HS.
Here are the points where it's a little sad:
1. Both OSS and YSS were heavily campaigned by BM to sell them on her HS. They both told the GAL that they want BMs HS. There are 60+ kids in OSS class. They are going off to four different HSs. OSS is the ONLY ONE going off to his HS. There are over 20 kids going to the HS near us from his class. The reality seems to have finally hit home at the dance where there was a photo booth. The kids took the HS signs that were hanging up indicating the HSs they'd be going to and did group photos of the sets of kids going to each HS. OSS had to pose by himself. DH said OSSs face seemed to show that he finally realized what it means to go by himself to that HS.
2. DH and I were at part of the event above and DH got to see OSS with his classmates. (This is the kid who never invites anyone over and rarely gets invites.) And yesterday DH picked up OSS from school (last day). All the kids were standing around talking, taking pictures. DH finally saw that OSS is not really friends with the other kids. The other kids are nice, they are friendly to OSS but, in DH's words "OSS is more like their mascot." I feel sad for DH because I think this is the first time he's had to face that reality. And now he's worried about OSS in high school.
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Sounds like making a fresh
Sounds like making a fresh start might not be too bad an idea for oss if he didn't really have any friends at his old HS.
I hope so. But both skids
I hope so. But both skids have been sooooo sheltered that it is possible he doesn't know how to make friends. That's what DH is seeing. The kids at the private school are kids OSS has been in school with from kindergarten through now (8th grade). All the years when it's easier to make friends and he still doesn't have any close ones.
DH and I both see that OSS is not as socially adept as other kids his age and throwing him into a situation with zero known people may make it worse. He has historically had trouble with navigating situations with new/unknown peers.
^^^Agree^^^ It could be a
^^^Agree^^^
It could be a great fresh start for him. Explain it to him that way if he seems down about it.
My BS was very similar in his old school. He was friendly but didn't have a lot of friends. Most of the other kids were nice to him but he didn't have that
one best friend or group to hang out with. When the chance came for us to move right before his freshman year he jumped at it.
He is still a bit of a loner but has made huge strides in his self esteem and maturity. He brings friends over and seems very well liked in school. His school counselor and the principal have both told me how
much confidence he has grown since he first came to this HS. He is starting his SR year this fall and still is happy we made the switch.
Try to encourage him and tell him this is his time to start new and make HS everthing he ever wanted.
Hugs to SS and your family!
Thank you! I'll pass this on
Thank you! I'll pass this on to DH. That will help him to know other kids have experienced the same thing.
Can you get him in some
Can you get him in some summer programs to build his self confidence?
A new start really might help. I just get him ready as much as possible.
They've been in programs but
They've been in programs but every year it's been a fight. BM believes OSS needs protection and is different. DH worked on getting her to agree to them each getting to choose half of the summer for the skids without any argument from the other. So, both skids are finally going to an all week away camp...separate weeks and separate camps...during DHs weeks. I think it will be really good for OSS. We just gotta hope BM doesn't fill his head with all sorts of fears and doesn't swoop in to check on him.
(My personal guess is that OSS will still struggle through HS but hit his stride in college.)
Sounds like his mom is his
Sounds like his mom is his problem. She wants a weak kid, you get a weak kid.
Awesome on the camps...and yeah...some kids really do hit thier stride in college. He sounds like he is loved, that makes all the difference.