Stepson weighs 345lbs...doctor told BM she was killing him and that he should maybe stay with DH for the summer.
SS15 weighs 345lbs and has a BMI of 50 something. He has been "working out" twice a week for a year with absolutely no results.
SS went to the doctor for his routine cholesterol check..yeah at 15, it's crazy. Anyway the doctor congratulated him on losing almost 10lbs since this has never happened he has gained 150lbs since he was 12. So SS called to tell me how proud the doctor was of him for losing that weight and also to tell me how embarrassing BM was during the appt. After the doctor had congratulated him SS went on to tell him how he was at my house and our home is vegan and went on about all the stuff we ate and how there is no junk food and what not, he was at our house for 1 1/2 weeks and lost 10lbs. Well BM hit the roof and told the doctor that in her house farmers pay her bills and that out of spite she is doing the exact opposite of my house because HER house will never be PINKS house.
The doctor plainly told her that her way of life and her selfish ways were going to kill SS and that if she couldn't handle changing the home then maybe it would be in his best interest to stay with DH for the summer to lose some weight and try to establish good habits.
We also found out that BM has been buying *some* healthier foods for SS but then expects him to eat a separate dinner from the family. SS had made salad for the family for dinner but BM decided it wasn't enough and went and got a pizza and some soda. They go to dunkin donuts EVERY MORNING..BM says he can always say "no". This kid has been over eating his entire life and he really has been trying but has no idea what to do or where to even start!
BM is always so negative when SS loses even a pound and is constantly trying to sabotage his efforts. Everything is strangely about her. Anything and everything can be turned around and before you know it you're talking about BM's wants and BM's needs.
His blood pressure is high, his cholesterol is borderline, his knees bother him, his ankles hurt. He hasn't been able to go on theme park rides for years! I wish the doctor would have said much more to this lunatic.
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This is child abuse. Perhaps
This is child abuse. Perhaps its time to go to court.
BM says he can always say
BM says he can always say "no".
Yes, because it is just that easy. What a bitch.
Exercise is great and he needs it but fat loss mainly happens in the kitchen. If his mother cannot do a better job supporting better eating habits, it's going to very hard for him.
If he stays with you for the summer, he can hopefully lose quite a bit of weight and get in the habit of eating better but shame on his mother for not doing more to help him. This is his life.
Every pound lost is something like 4 lbs of pressure off of his joints, not to mention what all of that fat is doing to his organs.
My BIL just died at 45 years old after letting himself get to 550 lbs in the past 8 years or so. Cirrhosis of the liver and kidney failure due to extreme obesity.
Your SS's BM makes me stabby.
As someone who struggled with
As someone who struggled with Weight my entire life, I don't know if changing the place where he lives will work (it might however it might not). I found that I was most successful about loosing weight not when I dealt directly with the weight, but with other issues in my life, like my emotional stability and making sure that I was not bored! If you make food a thing you risk it backfiring on him.
Some private counseling (mental health) might be good for him.
Thanks so much for your
Thanks so much for your comments ladies! He has been to a nutritionist and does seem to want to make the effort but lets face it he isn't the one who buys the food.
Going to court isn't an option for us unfortunately because SS is not my DH's son legally. He is BM's from a previous relationship and my DH has been Dad since he was two.
I see what you mean by going cold turkey on the sweets and not being able to learn how to manage them as a part of life. We do have sweets but everything needs to be made so it actually takes effort. The week and a half that he was here we had brownie sundaes at least every other night. They were probably much smaller portions than he is use to though.
We have been asking BM for years to allow him this chance. That is where the whole switch-a-roo comes in and bam! it's all about her!
I used to feel bad for mibi
I used to feel bad for mibi husband when I met him until I have spent the last two years with him.my wife is the worst enabler in rhe workd. Hes 13 yrs. 5ft and 180lbs. Not an ounce is muscle at all. The kid has boobs that are bigger than my wife s. Even after just soending the werk in the hospital for kidney failure he is suppose to be on a reduced sodium diet. he is sneaking food again and I have cought him. My wife is is denial like I have never seen. She cant figure out how hes gained 5lbs in a week. NO WIFE HES NOT RETAINING WATER. Hes sneaking food. Im not going to sugar coat it because he would eat that to. Hes lazy and fat. He cant push mow the yard with a self propled mower because of his "asthma" but can play basketball. Fking ugggg. Ive learned not bring up my bio son who is the same age. Hes all-star in basketball and soccer and has a 4.0. Mt wife gets real defensive when I do. The lazy twat waffle just cost us $1600 for his hospital stay that insurance didnt cover. Not to mention over $100 in copays every week now for doctor visits. Finances ate soon to become separate and a seperation is probably in the fiture
BM is overweight and it does
BM is overweight and it does seem like she doesn't want to be the *only one*. Her BF of a few years used to be healthy looking and all but he too has become a bit chubby, which is fine for him, he is an adult and can make his own choices. I just don't understand how a mother cannot see beyond herself and her own needs. This is her golden child, her boy as she puts it.
He does have "asthma" his mother says it all the time. We are very active and go hiking regularly, play basketball, walk everywhere and in all these years he has never had an asthma attack..winded yes, but I would expect him to be while doing something physical. He was also put on an ADD medication a couple years back and DH and I were like what? why?! BM says he has ADD and can't concentrate..umm no he is fine, so I looked up the side effects and one of the common side effects is reduced appetite. DH used to tell me about going to the doctor with them and basically be slapped down by the doctor and BM because everyone danced around this issue..saying at 11 when he was 230lbs if he would "maintain" his weight he would probably be 6ft and would even out!
Yeah his real father was only 5'8 and BM is only 5'6 so not sure where the 6ft comes in but BM stressed that one for YEARS knowing the kid would never be 6ft.
It is very frustrating. Life is going to be so hard for this kid and his own damn mother won't give him a chance at a normal life.
No not child support! Thank
No not child support! Thank goodness we would be in the poor house. He has a bio daughter with this woman and does pay child support for her. The boy is like a son to him so holidays, birthdays, extra life events we pay half of. For example drivers ed we paid for, for this summer. Thankfully it is all agreed upon by both of us before any money is put towards extras for either child.
He does come over on the same visitation schedule and such.
Do you think you guys could
Do you think you guys could swing getting him into a counselor and nutritionist? Maybe work on his self esteem so that he can stand up for himself? BM will always be buying the food but he needs to be able to tell her NO or enough or whatever. This will help him in the future, not only with food issues but with all the other problems BM is going to bring onto him.
I hate to be negative about
I hate to be negative about this but there are a lot of food pushers and enablers. The best thing you can do for him is help him to get set up to live separately from her in 3 yrs time and then really support him to eat differently and move differently at that point. There are examples of mothers out there who keep their kids fat so they can't leave the house and leave them.
Counseling
Sounds like he will need counseling to combat BM's crap anyway. Those same tools will help him with his eating.
crazy. She'd rather have him in his grave than doing well at your house.