need quick advice
So Bm just text stated that Ss is sick and now has fever and is pretty much telling Dh that she is going to keep Ss for this weekend. Dh's phone died so the text got said "your phone is dead, so im going to assume that i'm keeping him and you can have my weekend at the end of the month" Dh doesn't want to miss his weekend with Ss but at the same time he doesn't want him to come over sick. Advice?
Is it stupid for Dh to just agree to this? I guess my fear is this turning into a "oh he's sick" to try to w/h visitation in future.
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Thanks ripley! I think the
Thanks ripley! I think the main issue is that Bm is continually assuming/demanding to do things outside of CO and being that the requests haven't been outrageous DH has just kind of went along with everything. I agree, I def don't wnat to deal with a sick kid.
Let her keep SS ---
Let her keep SS --- especially if he's sick. No one would enjoy the experience. Too bad DH's phone wasn't charged.
Thank you for the advice!
Thank you for the advice! You're so right on no one would enjoy the weekend...
I wouldn't let my DH change
I wouldn't let my DH change weekends or give up his visitation as BM demanded when the kids are sick.
Kids remember who is there when they are sick, and who takes care of them, they build trust when they are suffering and your caring for them. I wouldn't let BM refuse to drop them off and we even told BM we would be there with a Police officer to get the sick child if she did not deliver the child.
She would claim "my mom is a nurse, she should stay here"
DH would reply "My wife is a nurse, drop her off or I'll file a report with the police that your refusing to follow the court ordered visitation"
I think in the long run, its better for the kids to know Daddy takes care of them too.
Just my take on it.
I guess I didn't think about
I guess I didn't think about the distance thing with other families, if skids are hours away.
My kids are 5 miles away at exH and the skids are only 3 miles away at BM'S so that makes it an easy transport.
But a sick kid in a car for over 30 minutes would suck for that kid!
BM keeps him home, not
BM keeps him home, not spreading germs to your home. And swapping a weekend. Sounds very responsible and reasonable.
Thank you everyone for the
Thank you everyone for the advice! I really appreciate it.
Dh texted Bm and told her he's more than capable of taking care of Ss but that if he's too sick to come that (it's almost an hour car ride) he'd agree to switch weekends so time will only tell if Bm complies with the weekend switch at the end of the month and if she doesn't from that point forward, the CO will be followed to a T.
It's just hard because it's like on one hand, do you agree even though it's unclear if Bm is just testing her limits or if the kid is really sick or do you stand firm because of principle and in order to protect yourself from crap in future...
Why the heck should germs be
Why the heck should germs be spread to your house? Do u have kids at home as well, why get them sick? Sorry court order doesn't account for common sense sometimes
BM used to do this with SD
BM used to do this with SD when she first got custody but the judge told her off and made it very clear that SD being sick changes nothing for visitation. Because even if SD is sick to the point of her needing to be in hospital, her dad needs to be informed and he needs to be there.
I think its a tricky one, because you have to determine whether this is a control tactic or if its thinking of the childs best interest. Like most things, dammed if you do, damned if you dont.
Although I would be happy if
Although I would be happy if my step kids weren't here when sick bc I don't want their crud and I def don't want my child to catch it, DH and I are more than capable of taking care of a sick kid. It's like saying you guys can't handle it .. If they were still together and SS was sick and BM had to work and DH was off there wouldn't be an issue..