So sorry this is happening! My DH has gotten frustrated many times for the same reason.. he says he feels like he's always stuck in the middle trying to make everyone else happy while he's miserable. What I always try to point out is that he is trying too hard to make the WRONG people happy... people who turn on him every chance they get, people who don't appreciate what he does, people who only use him. While the person who loves him, appreciates him and is his PARTNER gets crapped on over and over again.

He's absolutely right that he can't please everyone all of the time. That's why I'm so puzzled why men with this mentality try to date. How can they ever treat a partner or relationship fairly? He can't devote one evening to his relationship. That's not something you should have to fight for.

So sorry Raggles! {{hugs}}

Raggles, so that I can see if I got this right: were you supposed to pick SD in the first place? If so, the problem is staying there for 15 minutes? Or was the picking up arranged after you made plans together?

I agree with Sueu2 100%. I made my opinions about my SO's prior life, as it were, well up front in the relationship - once it was clear it was pretty serious. I drew a hard line in the sand on what was and what was not acceptable. Drama from the ex? Unacceptable. It's been about 3 years, I've never met her or spoken to her in any way. She was constantly up his ass with assorted bullshit calls and texts and just general nastiness, and I made him block her. She started using the skid's phone. I told him never to answer the phone let it go to VM, if you call back and she answers, hang up. Do not under any circumstances speak to her unless someone is seriously sick, hurt or dead. I read his divorce agreement and learned the rules of the situation and we stick to the rules. Meet here, at this time, get the skid, bring him back. Period. She yanks the skid on SO's weekends all the time, which makes me happier than I can possibly express, so when things come up in MY life on skid weekend, we just tell the skid, can't see you next weekend kiddo... I will hold to that line forever. SO knows - it puts a lot of pressure on him, less on me. Not my life. Not my drama. You're my life, not your kid. If that 'situation' puts strain on us, it will be over.

Your dh made plans with you then behind your back changed plans. Husband's don't always place the same importance on what their wife considers " time together" I would make sure in the future that you make very clear just what you expect when you plan to have a quiet evening and it does not include the steps or their activities. He may be clueless. He may be thinking it is fine to go by a different set of rules and expectations.

If he had wanted and planned for a quiet evening with you but at the last minute found out you had planned an outing with your girlfriends, he would feel slighted. Was finding out as you are cooking the dinner any different then dh bringing home flowers then being told " see you later, I decided to have a girls night out."