o-m-g.

The fucking nerve.

Okay. We have a calendar a year in advance that we send to BM of our time with SD.
Well the co states 2 weekends a month and that DH is to let her know which ones are his 30days advance.
It doesn't specify that it needs to be his weekends off (though we obviously schedule them his weekends off)
It doesn't specify that it needs to follow his work rotation.
And it doesn't specify that holidays override his time. (So if he loses a weekend because BM gets her for Mother's Day weekend, how could that be fair? His weekend would just fall on another weekend then. He shouldn't miss out on seeing his daughter (who he only gets 4 days a month with (+rotated holidays and school days)

So DH's schedule rotation changed to a new rotation pattern and Bm didn't know the NEW rotation and we WEREN'T going to tell her (we don't have to) because we wanted to get her off this whole "it has to be your rotation" complaint. We've gone back and forward with her reciting the CO But she still argues it.

This was our chance because she didn't know his rotation so it was a clean slate away from that. And finally it can just be "these are our days" and leave it at that.

Well, one of his weekends wasn't scheduled on his weekend off because he actually had to work that weekend since another coworker took vacation. However SD had off from school Monday and Tuesday and he was off those days so we scheduled that to be his weekend so he could see SD Monday and Tuesday and i would just watch her Sat&Sun. Have some step mom time and she can hang out with her new brother.

It's been on the calendar since August. And of course two days before the exchange, Bm emails us saying it's her weekend not ours. We explained again that he gets 2 weekends a month + school holidays if they fall next to his weekend. (Which we barely ever get because they never fall next to his weekends)
We also explained that co states 2 weekends a month and doesn't specify anything further. That it's been on the calendar since August and if she had an issue she could have brought it up well in advance (not 2 days before) so we can discuss a solution. Otherwise - too bad too sad, it's our weekend.

She continued to bitch. DH kindly stated that he can have custody of SD mon-Friday's and she can have the weekends if this one weekend is such an issue.
She said we were getting an extra weekend (which we weren't. There were only two scheduled that month. I seriously thought she was smoking something. I'm like this weekend ONE and this is weekend TWO...where the fuck do you see three weekends?)

Anyway. I KNEW she was going to show up at the exchange. Bm has been trying to behave because 1. She already has so many counts against her. And 2. SD has been expressing how she wants to live with us. And BM doesn't want that to happen so I know she fears is taking custody (even though we know it would be difficult to)

DH told mil about it. MIL knows we don't want Bm knowing his work rotation and we don't want her so much into our business. (If Bm knew his rotation she would know his whole schedule regardless if we got SD or not.)
MIL fucking text BM and goes "do you mind if I have SD this weekend? I know (DH) is off Monday and Tuesday".

Why? WHY MIL?! first off MIL made it seem like it wasn't our weekend (which is what we were arguing because it IS our weekend) AND she told BM DH's days off. Which is none of her damn business.
That same day DH was planning on messaging BM and being like "just confirming we'll be meeting Friday for exchange"

Before we knew milessaged her...BM messaged DH saying "fyi I'm meeting your mom Friday."

We didn't respond (at the time.) we contacted MIL first because we were confused.... I called MiL and I said, you talked to BM? She said yes. I asked WHY and she said "(DH) told me to".
I went to DH who told me he DIDNT tell her to contact BM. That MIL asked him if he heard anything from BM about our weekend. DH said no. Then MIL said "would it help if I contacted her?" And DH said "no, I don't believe it would".

He called MIL upset and told her that didn't mean to go text BM.
& that BM needs to discuss the exchange with HIM, Not her. He doesn't need an "FYI" about HIS weekend from BM. Not only that but now BM was making it out like she was sacrificing HER weekend and "giving" it to us like the oh so wonderful person she is.

I was pissed. I didn't know what MIL said but BM sent DH a screen shot of MIL's message with the meet up plans.
When I read that MIL told her DH's schedule and acted like she was asking permission to have SD on "BM's" weekend (which was OUR scheduled weekend), I called MIL & FLIPPED out on her.

I'm so fucking done with her crossing boundaries. This just put me over the edge (not the first time she's done this shit). Not to mention the last time I saw her which was the day before this incident, she said my (now 4mo) looked GAY in his hat. I had a hat on him because it was cold out.

How the fuck does a baby look GAY?!
God I wanted to punch her.