Go you! I would have run for the hills.

Glad you survived and see to have got something useful out of it.

I have not been on here for awhile. But you are one of the first people I've seen on here with a problem similar to mine. My ss who is now almost 17 years old starting stealing my panties when he was 5. Much like you, we had a psychiatrist reframe this violating experience as an expression of his love for me and desire for comfort. This behavior continued on and off until about 10 years of age. My clean underwear, my dirty underwear, my bras. Sometimes it would stop for a few months but that was typically because I never allowed my undergarments to be unattended. A few months without incident would cause me to be lax and leave some in the dirty laundry- and it would happen again. At the age of 10, he took two pairs of my underwear to school and showed two of his classmates- which was humiliating to me and my dd who was the same age and in the same class.

At that time, ss was already due to move out of our home as dh was to be deployed in two months. Dh decided on his own to go ahead and move ss out early.

Fast forrward, ss did not come back to live with us full time until he was14- for many reasons most of which were due to dh's military service. Ss had visited over the 4 years, but sometimes with big gaps of time in between visits again due to dh's service. During those 4 years I never noticed him stealing my undergarments (although he did steal many other things) so I assumed it was just some bizarre stage he grew out of. Within two weeks of him being back in my home on a full time basis he had begun to steal not only mine, but also my dd14s panties. Dh removed him immediately to his parents but he went with him. We looked for some sort of to facility but they all wanted 30000 a year and he had 4 more years of school. Called his bm and she wouldn't take him back (she had kicked him out for growing pot in her front yard). Dh did a lot of talking to him in the 10 days they were gone and felt that it was a one time thing that the kid was remorseful for ( which I knew better but the only other option we had was dh moving out and the two of them having their own residence. We installed keyless entry locks on dds bedroom and one on our basement door where our and my dh's bedroom was. In the weeks following, ss managed to walk in on me naked or half naked 3 different times. Each time I was behind my own bedroom or bathroom door in the basement. He was walking around the back of the house and coming thru out basement door. He also talked another boy into pulling down my dd's shorts in gym class. Then the final straw was when I overheard him telling my 10 year old dd that he takes undergarments because boys just like to... And then said never mind you wouldn't understand.

Ss left the next day and has not stepped foot in my residence since and never will. My only regret is that I waited soooo freaking long. It's a guilt I live with daily. He has resided with my inlaws for the last 3 years or so until recently. His current address is juvenile detention where he is currently waiting to see if he will go to a boot camp type program for 9 months or if he will be going to department of corrections until age 18. This is his second stay in the detention facility. He has picked up two drug dealing charges in two different schools within the last 18 months. Ironically he has only attended school for 4 of those 18 months.

Our "professional" minimized this behavior. My dh tried to minimize the behavior (at least at the beginning)- heck even I tried to minimize it when he was younger. I am sure not all of these situations will turn out like mine, but I just want you to know that some do.

Also, after he moved out my dd disclosed some other information about him crawling up next to her while she was sleeping on a camping trip- and pressing his body up against hers- on two different nights. At age 11. It makes me physically Ill to think of the things I could have prevented if I had acted sooner.

hormones or not, it is never appropriate to steal someone's undergarments. All boys and girls for that matter experience hormones, do all of them steal their mother, father, siblings, step parents undergarments? Of course not. There is something more at play here than hormones and I think it is a very very dangerous road to go down to give anyone the idea that hormones can make you do things that are damaging to others- will hormone be an acceptable excuse if your ss rapes someone? Of course not, but for the victim it will already be too late.