I think I agree. how many people do u see on this site (including myself) having to be fake with someone. it is absolutley draining. so if you can't find a way to deal don't put yourself in that for 12 more years. becuase its draing. absolutley draining. I 100% love my sd I still do. but i don't like her 90% time and i feel like a worse person for it. it is not easy being a step parent

The child has a fatal illness. He may die in a short period of time or he may die years from now but most likely won't make it past young adulthood. It's very rare to even make it to adulthood.
We can speculate on why SM doesn't like her SS (maybe Disney dad knowing his son's life will be short?, maybe the symptoms of the illness bother SM, maybe the kid is just a brat...who knows, but I agree with Abby's advice and for all involved it would be best to walk away.

It might help matters if Dear Abby actually read what was written. The woman admits that there is really no valid reason for her to dislike the kid, she just does.

I don't agree about learning to love the boy but I agree that she should try to focus on his good points so that she can at least accept him.

I would've told her to talk to Kevin about it. It's only "not fair" if she lets him believe she loves his son.

I think anyone who isn't a SM shouldn't tell a SM to adjust her atitude or just walk away. But there is valid point that she does need to focus on his good points. I would never tell anyone they have to love a kid that isn't there own, but if it's just a strait I just don't like him she should at least try to figure out why and have a deep conversation with her FDH.

I love SD4, but I love her like I love my nephew. I care about her well being, enjoy her company, and would protect her if need be, but she's not my child and I don't think I will ever love another person as much as I love my child. I don't expect her to love me like a mother, why should I be expected to love her like a bio child? My SO cares about my BD7, but he doesn't love her like she's his own and I certainly don't expect him to. He's very kind to her and treats her well, and I'm happy with that.

If this woman dislikes the child to the point that she can't treat him kindly, then she may want to re-think the relationship, but that's a conversation she needs to be having with her SO. I don't think anyone can know what it's like to be a SM until they are one. The letter writer is far better off coming to us for advice than Dear Abby!