Over the Holidays my SO added his son's BM back onto Facebook. His reasoning is that she is always taking pictures and never sending them along to him, this way he could have access to the pics she posts.
However, on top of having to see her name pop up in my feed she is now in on our personal lives. We're not super public and ooey gooey about our relationship on FB but we so post stuff about the other, share links, and of course pictures. Now she is witness to all that. Isn't it all bad enough that she's in our lives anyway? That I have to hear he BS on a regular basis but now she knows details about our personal life? UGH!!!!!!! The thought of it makes my skin crawl. Obviously she's in our lives, they share a child, but come on!!!! She needn't know that we went out for a nice meal together or how some mornings he has breakfast ready for me when I come out to the kitchen. I just don't want her in our lives more than she already is.
Is that such a bad thing? Am I selfish?
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Change your personal settings
Change your personal settings to where she can't see anything you post unless you specifically allow her to, its like you are friend's with her but you aren't. Its in your privacy settings.
Hell no...BM and SD are
Hell no...BM and SD are blocked. DH would never want this. We just blocked, MIL, SIL and BIL because they friended BM and we don't want her to see anything if they comment on it. Still waiting on fall out from it.
Exactly! I know she can't see
Exactly! I know she can't see something I post but anything he posts about us, she can see. We have to see her pretty much everyday....AREN'T I SUFFERING ENOUGH?????lol
Does your SO not see his
Does your SO not see his kid(s) very often? and by that I mean like only summers and school breaks or something? If so, I could see him wanting to see pics of what is going on in their lives. If he sees them every weekend or EOWE? I don't see why this is necessary... but good luck with all that. If you say anything you will be the petty, jealous bitch who hates skids.
He sees his son everyday so
He sees his son everyday so it makes no sense to me. Drives me nuts!
Oh for cripes sake! That is
Oh for cripes sake! That is just a damn ridiculous excuse then!! This is the REAL story:
BM sent SO a friend request. SO doesn't have the balls to decline her because the panty waist is afraid to "rock the boat" so he comes up with this gem of a reason to friend her. Barf!
HA! I think we would be
HA! I think we would be excellent friends!
THIS!
THIS!
Yup. Agree
Yup. Agree
(No subject)
That's what I thought
That's what I thought :?
I agree. BM used to always
I agree. BM used to always want SO to send her pics of Skids. She has them mon - thur every week. Stay home and make some memories with your kids and you won't need ours.
Hell to the NO. If he sees
Hell to the NO. If he sees his son everyday he can take his own pictures and have his own memories with his son. He doesn't need her pictures :?
Agreed! Thank you!!
Agreed! Thank you!!
Just block her. You won't
Just block her. You won't share a single thing with her anymore.
And make your posts to him private, if you want to keep him on your FB. Personally, I'd delete him and possibly block him too. FB isn't necessary.
Agree with the poster who
Agree with the poster who said just lock her down so she only sees what you deliberately post to her.
My DH is FB friends with BM too, but it was at my urging. My SD's are older, and sometimes there are pix of the grandchildren or something - I wanted DH to be able to see that stuff. Plus I find the things BM posts oddly hysterical. It's total Fakebook (or sometimes Failbook) stuff, and it mostly cracks me up. }:)
I've seen some of the stuff
I've seen some of the stuff she posts. She has a case of "Poor Me Syndrome". There is some entertainment value there.
But then I think, "hmmmm is she doing the same thing right now?"
Know what I mean?
You mean BM reading your
You mean BM reading your posts and getting judgy? (Or my BM reading my DH's?) Yeah, I can see that, especially if your steps are younger and you're still dealing with custody/visitation/CS crap. My SDs are older though, like I said, so neither DH or I *have* to talk to BM again, EVER. Nothing we say can come back to bite us in court, and it would literally be impossible for me to care less what she thinks of me personally. I invite her to judge away!
I don't know. I will give him
I don't know. I will give him credit that he has always been very honest with me, whether I wanted to hear it or not, so when he says it's for pictures then I have to believe that. Not trusting him will just lead to resentful feelings and I don't want to live like that either.
Tricky business!
I would have a fit if my DH
I would have a fit if my DH decided to let BM into our lives more than absolutely necessary.
Like others have said, there are many ways he can deal with this:
1. Set uber strict privacy settings. This goes both ways so you don't have to see her name pop up and she can't just go through your/his posts willy nilly.
2. He takes his own pictures and is done with it.
3. He asks his kids if they have any pictures of themselves that they can share with him. Not sure how old your skids are but teens tend to have phones with 1000s of pictures of themselves and their friends on them.
Sounds like a very piss poor excuse to keep in contact with BM, not create waves or to enrage his WIFE!
You're not selfish at all.
You're not selfish at all. There is no way either BM's or my ex would be on our fb. He needs to get her off their. Have him have the kid on fb and when she tags the kid he'll get to see the picture.