I have tried so hard to be nothing but respectful, friendly, welcoming, and receptive to BM and her family, fully believing that it is so much better for SD2 that way. A back story since I am pretty new and only actually have gotten 2 posts to show up:
I live with my BF and have been in SD2's life since she was 1 and not yet walking. BF and BM were never married, and unexpectedly concieved SD during their awful relationship that only lasted a few months from what he tells me. There is a lot of resentment between BF and BM as she is a self-proclaimed bipolar woman and has attempted to file false reports on him a couple times to keep him from their daughter when she was first born simply because she was angry that he wouldn't be with her. BM lives in a trailer home with her mom and her new husband. From what I understand, only the husband is working, and he is doing high-school type minimum wage jobs (bussing tables, gas station clerk) while BM stays home saying she is too bipolar to hold a job. They rely heavily on government assistance and CS money. SD has many times been handed over to BF in an unclean state. BF only has visitation every other weekend since SD was born out of marriage, and BM automatically has custody. Currently we do not have the funds to hire an attorney for BF to get more custody, however that is on the agenda as soon as we are able.
Things have been running fairly smoothly with the hand offs, until recently. On christmas eve, BM and her husband were pretty rude towards us, and BM texted a little bit after we handed her back accusing us of cutting her hair and teaching her bad words. BF was very angry about this, as we did not cut her hair at all, and we try to watch our mouth around her, and havent heard her cuss when she is with us. BF and BM had an argument about this over text, but he never once said anything to her that sounded like he was calling her family white trash. He read me the texts as it was unfolding.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I went with BF to pick up SD2 for his weekend again. BF asked me to turn on my voice recorder on my phone, because BM had been threatening to take him to court during their argument (she does this a lot, but so far all threats have been empty) and she has had a history of false accuisations. BM's mother got out of the car, and approached me as BF was taking SD from BM. I had never spoken to this woman before in my life. She started with, "Can you do me a favor? I know we have never met but..." I interrupted with a smile, an extended hand, and an introduction, which she very lightly returned (no smile, of course) and said, "tell (BF) to not call my family white trash". WHAT? Where did that come from??? I was caught off guard because as far as I know, she would have had no way to hear him say anything like that (no mutual friends or anything and no post was made on social media by him about her)and as far as I know nothing like that was said by him to any of them. I just said to her, " I just try to stay out of what's between (BM and BF), it's not my place." And she promptly got in her car and they drove off quickly.
It was very strange and frustrating....
On the bright side my recording technique worked amazingly well and now I have proof in case we are accused by BM of something that wasnt said.
They just seem so delusional!
I just think it's awful that everyone cant just be adults and get along without fighting and accusing.