He came into my life on December 26, 2002, almost 12 years ago, a nearly ferrel sled dog from someone living beyond their means in northern Minnesota. A wonderful husky rescue stepped in and got almost 60 dogs re-homed, and Pogo was from that group. He wasn't my first pick, but he was God's pick for me and my then 9 year old son. We had prayed for just the right dog, after a painful fair well to our 14 year old Jessie, the dog of my marriage and then divorce.

Pogo came to us so much of a different dog then Jessie. To make a long story short, he was so shy I could hardly get near him. He did not seem this way when I picked him up but what a surprise when I got him home. I had to lure him with treats just to catch him. He was very distant and he growled at both me and my son. I tried so many things to Earn his trust and eventually started giving up on him. My son reminded me that this was the dog we had prayed for (out of the mouths of babes). One day, about 6 months into my "little disheartening adoption" I was running with him and tripped, lost his leash, and he was gone! There was no catching him. The faster I ran, the faster he ran. Soon there were two city blocks between us. Someone stopped in a truck and offered to help. I knew he couldn't help and Pogo would just run faster from a stranger so I said no. When he left Pogo was now almost 4 blocks gone. I was so discouraged I through my arms in the air, turned and started walking home, trying to think of ways to explain to his rescue about my big fail. I had only gone about half a block when I heard doggy steps coming from behind. I turned and there he was! He came back! To shorten the story it was a huge turning point for us. Somehow, my walking away had earned his respect and from that point on he became my shadow, never leaving my side. He helped me train for two half marathons, was my skijoring and hiking buddy, pulled my son and later my step daughter on sled. A wonderful best friend he has been. God taught me so much about unconditional love, faith, and not giving up, through Pogo. He changed states with me and my son when I married DH. Don't know if I could have survived some of the icky blended stuff as long as I have without him. He was always there with his unconditional love and understanding brown eyes.
Unfortunately they just never live long enough. No matter how much time you have with them, when they are gone, wish upon wish you always long to hug them or pet them...just one more time...
Oh, I still have him but his back end has gotten very stuff and I see him approaching the end. His hair is gray, and senior looking. My son is grown and gone and I am far from "home" and missing friends and family. I have always felt each dog represents a chapter in my life. Jessie was the dog go my marriage/divorce and first part of my single parent years. Pogo took over where Jessie left off, single parent years to blended family years. Oh, I am so not ready to close Pogo's chapter...
Yesterday I called the vet for a swollen front paw. I figured I wouldn't get him in until Friday since it wasn't urgent but they said they could take the appointment so I had to get help from DH to get him in. He is heavy and needs help into my truck. DH acted inconvenienced. I could tell he did not think this necessary on Christmas Eve but I needed to do it when he was home and I knew he had family activities on Friday so I persisted. There was a negative attitude in the truck and unpleasant conversation. At the vets I find out what I suspected...it was not a cut or sliver, but a tumor. Vet said on a young healthy dog they could remove the front toe but on him, with the rear stiffness, it would be hard for him. Oh they pain. Tears were welling up in my eyes and by the time I got to check out I was falling apart. Then I laughed through my tears an told the receptionist this must be one of her favorite parts of her job. She was very kind and gave Pogo extra treats. I brought him home. Oh how I wish I could just take him in and they could make it all better but in my heart I know they can't fix old age. All I can do is make sure he is not in pain and give him dignity, and love on him, knowing his chapter in my life is drawing to a close...

Mostly, I just feel like a good cry and this isn't as much of a blended family vent as it is a feelings blog, except that I have seen DH drive to the ends of the earth for his daughters, but he was so "inconvenienced by me and my dog when I really needed his support and compassion. In Pogo's eyes I am #1 but in DH's eyes I can plan on taking a number behind his job, kids, and family. Oh the pain that never seems to end.

Posting without a proof read because I just don't care.

Merry Christmas everyone...