I consider myself an "assistant parent". I have beenough living with my boyfriend for three years now, he recently gain custody of his 10 year old and 7 year old daughters in June when their mother took off to California. Things are off and on with myself and the daughters, they will listen and be cooperative one day and the next believe that they don't have to respect me. They know the rules we have set out for them and the expections we have for them. I'm not sure if it has to do with their mother leaving or if they are testing the waters.

Today I was frustrated with the fact that I told the oldest I would pick them up from their grandmother's after I got off at 2pm.. the oldest was rude texting back that were staying later... I told her fine stay.. but she needs to stop assuming that she can do whatever without saying anything to myself or their father. I wasn't upset until she texted rude remarks but wanted to take it back after I said that her father can pick her up * which would make her late for gymnastics*.
The only good thing that may have come out of this situation is that my boyfriend realized that if he expects them to let him know what's going then I should be getting the same cooperation.