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Morbid content- Not sure why I think about this- skid related

zerostepdrama's picture

I'm an overthinker and think ahead on most things and will also have a lot of "what if" scenarios.

As much as I dont like the girl skids, I would never ever want something terrible to happen to them.

With that being said... sometimes I think, what if something bad happened to them? How would I handle it? How would I support DH and his family?

Would I feel guilty attending a funeral of a skid, knowing how much I did not like them.

I had a friend I grew up with, since we were in 1st grade. When I was in college she slept with my long term BF. I stopped being friends with her, but still dated the BF. Not long after my friend committed suicide. I did not go to her funeral because I felt weird about it. I felt like I stopped being her friend because of something both her and my BF did, but I forgave him, but not her. I felt guilty to go and mourn her, when not that long ago I was mad at her and had said/felt some pretty nasty things about her. I think in my head (I was young at the time) I thought people would think, well Zero stopped being her friend and didnt care and now Zero is here mourning her....

Years later it really bothers me that I did not go to her funeral.

So sometimes I think, gosh what if something happened to one of the skids? I would have to be there for DH. And you know when people pass away, there are always all these wonderful stories about the person, even if the person was the worse person alive. And you would have to sit there and smile and nod and listen and think "gosh I really disliked this person for doing all these awful things to me and I have nothing nice to say about this person."

Or maybe my own DH would think... well Zero never even liked my kid anyway.

I always live by the motto to try and make amends with people in case something bad happens. The people I love, I let them know I love them, even when we are mad each other.

Anyone else think about this? Please tell me I am not the only morbid person.

If anything, this may be a lesson in my heart to let go some of the hate I have been holding on to. It doesnt change my stance on where I am with the skids. But for me personally I can know its not the person (skid) but their actions that I dont like.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

I have the same thoughts! I would seriously NEVER wish harm on anyone...(even BMs) But I have thought that if something horrible happened to one of the skids I don't know what I would do! I would want to be supportive of DH obviously, but he would probably see it as "fake" because he KNOWS I don't like them. I would also feel very guilty for not liking them.

Kind of one of those things were sometimes even the most unlikeable person becomes a martyr of sorts in death? I've wondered if it would not be the end of DH and I relationship. I can picture him grieving, and getting pissed at me and saying "well I'm sure you're happy now, you didn't like them anyway" Sad

thinkthrice's picture

I wouldn't wish harm on anyone either, but if the BM, Chef and all three skids suddenly got abducted by aliens, there would be smoke coming off of my tap shoes.

zerostepdrama's picture

Praying for an alien abduction isnt that bad is it? LOL!

DaizyDuke's picture

LOL!!!!! That is what I have always thought! I don't wish anyone harm... but it would be nice if they just disappeared! Where are those damn aliens when you need them?? CactusPartDeux??? Maybe your BM knows?? Wink

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I can honestly say that despite everything that's transpired, as ambivalent as I feel toward SS15 and how I basically feel nothing for ExSS10,I would be devastated if something tragic happened to either of them. I used to love these kids.

Teas83's picture

I've thought about it too.

I'm sure BM would try to ban me from the funeral.

And I'm sure DH would probably do what SG said her DH would do.

QueenBeau's picture

I would be sad if something happened to SD. She's a good kid & I like her.

But I can't say there wouldn't be a little relief in there, that I'd never have to deal with BM ever again.

7Mellow's picture

I guess I would reply back to DH I may not have liked her, but I still love you. You only go to funerals for those left behind more than those gone. At least that's always my belief.

Mercury's picture

If I got the news one day that something happened to one of the skids my first thought would be "please let it be the girl, please let it be the girl". I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but if I had to pick one of the two skids....

I can't even imagine seeing DH go through that. I'm pretty sure, despite disliking one skid and feeling ambivalent about the other, my grief would be sincere.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I've experienced this.

The sudden death of a child is awful, even if you're "only" a SP. I basically stuck by my DH & tried to be as supportive as possible. This included making all the cremation/funeral arrangements, acting as liaison between DH & BM, & spending the next few years parenting youngest skid solo while DH struggled with debilitating grief. Horrendous experience...

And Daizy is spot on - deceased skid became a martyr in the family, his/her many transgressions forgotten. It's been over a decade now. Guess who tends skid's grave? Yup, me.