Yesterday was DH's birthday. SD11 knew but walked around the house all night pretending and ignoring it. We already decided to not have gifts, only cards for both our birthdays. We travel around Europe and take big trips once a month so DH and I agreed we really don't want to make a big deal about either of our birthdays. We celebrate too much as it is. Still, we give cards and have a cake and try to be nice to each other for once LOL.

So I made a cake. BD and I gave him a card. SD had no interest in asking or helping with the cake. All night, she did her normal resistance and distancing herself from us. During dinner, she sat away from us reading/eating. I let it go because I let DH handle her weirdness. SD ignored all our conversations and discussions about a movie we watched later. After everyone was in bed, I asked DH if SD gave him a card or note. Turns out, she did. Must have given it to him when I went to the bathroom during the movie. It just bugs me that SD purposely times all her actions for when I'm out of the room. She will wait until I'm out of the room to ask DH even a simple question. She waits until I'm out of the room to get up to get water or put her plate away. For years, I've been disengaged but as a fulltimer, I still have to do so many things for SD. I try to talk to her and ask her questions but she will ignore me or wait until the very moment I leave the room.

I just hate living in a "home environment" where one person is so far removed from the rest of us and treats me like a Leper. I'm pretty sure I didn't provoke SD's distancing from me. DH is very strict and he does get on her case all the time while I am nothing but nice to her. I'm the "good cop" and DH is "bad cop." In fact, I know I'm too permissive but SD still won't come to me for anything. It just feels awkward being someone's fulltime "mom" but having the kid completely avoid you.