It's a rough day

Today is 7 years since I lost my baby girl, well, actually since I gave birth to her, she was lost a day or 2 before.
We usually celebrate this day as her birthday. (DH was not her dad, I met him 4 years after she was gone but you'd never know that... he has been, BEYOND amazing)
He is away for work for the next few days, so for the first time since I met him I'm doing this day (at least physically) alone.
To make it just that little bit more shitty, for the first time in 7 years I have horrible menstrual cramps on the same day. I have somehow avoided this coincidence till now.
I've dealt with the loss and am usually ok. But today... is not a good day

missflo's blog
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Thank you....Stacey. She was

Thank you....Stacey. She was 23 weeks. And it is not something I'd wish on anyone.
This day is always a little rough.. but today my body has gone along for the ride.

So sorry, I can't imagine the

So sorry, I can't imagine the pain of losing a baby. And then on top of it you have the cramps. My heart goes out to you. Bless your sweet little angel.

{{{{Hugs}}}} So Sorry. My

{{{{Hugs}}}}

So Sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you all. I'm not a

Thank you all. I'm not a pity party kind of girl. I like to think that the changes I've made in my life in the last 7 years honour her loss.
I blogged about it because she is part of my reality and my story.
If I ever say "I'm not a mum"
DH always corrects me.
And if I could possibly love him any more... Flowers just arrived. The ones she was named after

((((MissFlo)))) I don't know

((((MissFlo))))

I don't know if you are new to StepTalk as a first timer or under a new name, but I am so happy to see you on this site. You have been a very valuable member. I generally just lurk but I wanted to take this opportunity to say I've enjoyed all of your comments and I think you are a very sweet person with a great point of view.

So sad to hear about your loss. I hope this time passes by you and that you come out of it stronger. I don't know exactly the right thing to say so please know I only mean the absolute best for you. Big hugs.

Thank you for your lovely

Thank you for your lovely thoughts I've been around a while (this is my only ever name) I love that this place has so many people from such different situations and there's always something we can learn from each other.

I can't imagine how difficult

I can't imagine how difficult your loss must be. You have my deepest condolences.

Also, it's not a pity party. It's grieving the loss of a child and reaching out for support.

My BIL died at four months old, about twenty years ago. Long before I met my SO, we were kids. Even now, on his birthday, my ILs and SO get together and mourn. My FIL is MIL's second husband, and he tries to support her the way your DH supports you.
Point is, it's OK to mourn. It's normal. It's not a pity party.

You and your daughter are in my thoughts today.

Thank you sweet pea... I know

Thank you sweet pea... I know you're having a tough day too. (((((Hugs)))) to you

Thanks dtzy and yes

Thanks dtzy and yes stepmom2yrs, yes he is.
He asked me once if I felt like sharing my story with his sons. I think I scared him with my response. Not only is the answer no, but if he ever told them I think I would leave. I'm sure I'm over reacting but I am scared of their capacity for cruelty. I couldn't feel safe if they knew. And god forbid BM ever found out!!!!
I guess its testament to my feeling of belonging here, that I've shared with you all.
Thank you all for making it a better day than it started out to be.

Hugs, missflo. Losing a baby

Hugs, missflo. Losing a baby is soul-sucking.

It just sucks. My son died

It just sucks. My son died in utero and was two days to deliver him, ironically he was due that day. It is about 14 years now since he passed. I lost my husband two years later and my son's death affected me more. It does get easier. I used to celebrate the day with dinner with my son, but it stopped a few years ago. I needed to just let the day pass, with my own acknowledgement. I do visit the grave when I am back in town where they are buried. It does me in, but I feel that is the only job I have left for him, is not to forget him.

It will get easier, but losing a child is the hardest thing to go through.

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