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Can Someone Tell Me Why this Is?

step off already's picture

DH has primary custody of SS14 and BM sees him eowe. DH went through the department of child support services to try and get an order for child support. They asked for income information from both parties, set up a court date and at the court date they assumed BM was the one asking for support and that she was the custodial parent.

They issued an order stating that she was to provide medical and pay half of all health expenses. They also stated that the court date was NOT about child support; it was to establish parentage.

OK, WTF? BM is clearly the mother. She's on the birth certificate. i don't think you need a court date to find that out.

Anyway, DH contacts the case worker after the court date to find out wtf - why is no support being awarded to him when he is not working and BM is. The case worker says she'll look into his case.

He then gets a letter from DCSS stating that if he wants to receive support, he will need to get a lawyer or go down to the self help center at the court house and open another case.

WTF is the department of child support for? It says on their website that they will help you get an order for support.

And something tells me it would not have gone down this way AT ALL if a woman was the primary care taker of the child.

Comments

spittenfire's picture

Hmmm....maybe you should get a lawyer involved for sexual discrimination! But why is there not an order of support through the courts that gave DH his custodial rights?

step off already's picture

no order was made during their divorce. DH originally didn't want to ask for child support but then BM asked for spousal support so he asked.

They both represented themselves during the case and she submitted a bunch of lies and falsified info. DH wasn't working at the specific time of the hearing. The judge ran the calculations for spousal and child support based on DH's previous income and the garbage BM submitted and it worked out to DH owing BM like $450 per month. The judge said he wasn't going to award any support at the time. - My thought was that he knew she was full of shit, but since they both didn't have lawyers it was too difficult to hash through everything.

Accordn2L's picture

I think he should go straight down to the court house and open another case for support then if that is what the case worker says to do. It sounds like BS this happened and you are probably right, if it had been the other way around it wouldn't have been an issue. But don't give up and encourage him to go back.

step off already's picture

See that's the weird thing. When he opened the case with the deparmtent of child support services, they did the leg work. Their lawyers opened the case and when DH would ask questions, he'd get the standard response, "our lawyers work for the best interest of the children"

BS!

Now they are saying "go to the court house and do it yourself"

bearcub25's picture

After 4 years of BM not even trying to get custody of her baaabbbiiieeesss she loves so much, it still blows my mind a Mother wouldn't want her kids full time. Maybe they can't grasp it either.

step off already's picture

I couldn't agree more.

Dr. Drew says that a woman who leaves her children is suffering from a mental / pshychological illness - which is the only way that would allow for a woman to do this. It is ingrained so deeply into a woman to protect and care for her babies... some women are flawed and lack the brain function.

... And to be clear, I am not speaking of a mother who makes an active and rational choice to give up custody so that the child can be in a better place or be given more opportunity. That is more of a sacrifice.

FTMandSM's picture

Because he doesn't have a VAGINA that's why...the system is soooo screwed up....all I can say is Good Luck!!