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Is it normal?

kontan's picture

Submitted by kontan on Mon, 05/19/2014 - 7:23am

I have mixed feelings here, on the one hand it is easier but on the other it makes me uncomfortable and I find it strange.

BM was always snarky when we picked up the children. Once when we picked them up I asked SS10 if he had his book for his book report. He didn't seem sure. BM said it was in his bag, but again he didn't seem sure. I told him to check to be certain b/c we needed to work on the report/project early in the week. It was there. BM had a smart@$$ comment about me calling her a liar and I just looked at her, then stated no, he wasn't sure so it was better to check. She yelled something else to me and I walked over to her, rather than yell in the front yard, and said I'm sorry you are so bitter, but we are just trying to help him be successful and responsible. (BTW, this is one of the events that she uses as an example of me threatening her.) As I turned around to walk back to car and get in she yells (in the front yard) I'm sorry you're such a b!tch. I ignore it.

BM texted sd14 that she was not a liar and I was always trying to start something. Sd14 texted her mother about how rude I was to get in her face (didn't just didn't yell) and don't worry, you're not a liar mommy. (Bull$#!t on THAT) I and DH later that evening made a point of telling sd14 that at no point was I getting in her mother's face I was simply not going to yell across the front yard.

That is the back story for my question. Since that incident BM has brought someone with her to our house to pick up the children and had someone at her house when we pick up the children. Sometimes it is someone who rides with her, sometimes they just follow behind in another vehicle. This person hands us the necessary information when we arrive and handles the interaction. I have taken to videoing every exchange.

Admittedly, she hasn't been confrontational again. That is good. I just find it strange. I know she is trying to make a point, and gain support. She has them convinced that I am violent and threatening...playing the martyr.

Strange and annoying.

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kontan's picture

Submitted by kontan on Mon, 05/19/2014 - 9:10am

I started videoing them because she was bringing someone. It felt threatening at first, but not as much now. Having a caravan of her friends in my front yard was not comfortable.

I agree 100% with him needing to be responsible at 10. So proud of DH that he is making steps to push this. With this incident, I had no desire to have her bringing the book to us or returning to her house for it. Felt like the problem needed to be solved before we left. DH was part of the conversation, but yes I see that I shouldn't have bothered to ask as a reminder. I say nothing these days and am there only so she won't engage DH in conflict. When not present it is her delight to bait him. Honestly, I don't believe his DAD or I should have had to have any exchange. It was a simple question, posed for the sake of saving everyone the hassle of dealing with a forgotten school assignment.