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Ex-SO thinks I'm the most logical person to take his child if he and BM die

wasp's picture

:jawdrop: WTF?

I got a call from my ex the other day. We have this half-assed friendship thing going on where we talk occasionally until he starts acting like his old self and I remember why I stopped bothering trying to be friends with him in the first place.

He told me that he and BM have finally decided to take the advice I gave them five years ago, and draft wills. They are having a hard time figuring out who will get ex-FSS6 if they both die. Both of their parents are old, and they want someone younger. She's an only child, and ex-SO's brother is a complete screwup, so no options there. Ex-SO tells me that he told BM that he knew she wouldn't like it, but logically, *I* make the most sense to be the kid's guardian. He said I'm the most mature, financially stable person he knows, the kid knows me and is comfortable around me, etc. Apparently she was pissed but didn't really have an argument, either.

These people absolutely kill me. Part of the reason our relationship was so hard was because everything revolved around BM, ex-SO, and the kid. I was just along for the ride. And here, a year and a half later, they are still acting like this! I mean, did it occur to ANYONE to ask ME if I was willing to do this? I guess I'm just sitting over here frozen in time, eternally single with nothing else going on, just waiting and available to take on their responsibilities. You have to be f--king kidding me.

Not to mention, it's like he forgets that we broke up for two reasons - 1) his personality and 2) that I didn't want to be tied down with his kid. Admittedly, a lot of #2 became unbearable BECAUSE of #1 - but who the hell would think that I would want to take on someone else's kid by myself?? It's hard enough when you are in a relationship with someone and are in love with their parent.

The man put me through a lot of pain and stress for years and years and then he just assumes that I would be totally okay with this. Unbelievable. And the worst part is, we got into a HUGE argument right after this because I am buying a house and was talking to him about it. He's just been completely rude about the whole thing. I'm rushing into it, I don't know what I'm doing (I'm a first-time home buyer - so of course I don't know everything and am stumbling through it!), I'm immature, I'm selfish, I'm emotionally unstable, I'm stupid for not thinking of certain issues with the house that didn't occur to me (or my own parents, who have been guiding me through this), he doesn't like the neighborhood I'm going to be living in, etc.

Just kills me. Nothing changes. The man will verbally abuse me and then turn around and tell me I'm the most mature responsible person I know, because he needs something from me. WHAT THE HELL? And he has the balls to call ME selfish.

After all that I ended up flipping out on him worse than I ever have. Sadly, I stooped to his level, which I hate. I just started screaming at him and I told him that if he really thought I was this complete fuckup, he needed to take a good hard look at how my life has changed since we broke up. I have a better job than him. I make more money than him. I'm buying a nice house in a good, quiet, safe neighborhood, completely on my own. I have more friends than him and I have other people to call on for help, which he obviously doesn't have. He was really hurt and affected by everything I said. Really??? Welcome to my world. That's how he has talked to me, repeatedly, for the past five years - even when we aren't dating.

I just cannot get over the fact that they think I'm the best person to take their kid... and they are both so self-centered that they didn't even ask my opinion. WTF WTF WTF.

Comments

wasp's picture

She's an only child and I'm guessing most of her friends have kids and they don't want to burden them with another. Enter the single childless woman, perfectly fitting into their plans once again!

misSTEP's picture

If you ever have contact with him and he EVER is stupid enough to bring up the subject again, I would say, "I would be DELIGHTED to take your kid.....straight to the foster care agency."

Just J's picture

Wow, just wow. I have no words for that kind of audacity.

I agree we with the others, cut ties with this guy. There seems to be zero benefit for you. And he just sounds like a total user.