SD12 hates DD7. She seems to absolutely despise DD. It's really sad. DD was born when SD was 4, almost 5. I was looking at baby pictures and there was a couple of pictures of SD with/holding DD. The look on SD's face was murderous. I thought it would pass over time. I don't think it has. I always made sure DH had quality time with SD without DD or I, even though we were married. I wanted to make sure that SD felt like she wasn't being replaced. But we also did things together as a family as well.

In 2012, DH got full custody of SD. SD is 12 now and I have found numerous ripped out diary entries talking about how she can't stand DD7 stb 8, but never gives a reason in her writing. I would fully understand SD feeling that way if DD was rude or mean to SD. But DD7 is actually a very sweet little girl. She is naturally kind hearted and giving. She is quite stubborn and very strong willed, but very sweet. DS4 is also very sweet and very affectionate...but very boy'ish lol
SD12 can be sweet, but only when she tries and really wants to. SD likes to manipulate and will use her various moods to get what she wants. SD is not naturally kind hearted and is very selfish and vain. DD7 doesn't care though. DD doesn't care how many times SD has been intentionally mean, DD will still try to play/bond/hangout/ be around SD12. It doesn't matter how many times SD pushes DD away, DD still comes back to her and is dying for SD12's approval or something.

DD7 will offer up her candy, toys, anything to make SD happy. And SD will happily take and take and take until there is nothing left for her to gain. SD will never offer anything to anyone. SD hates the idea of sharing, even though our family are very giving people and will give you the shirt off our back if you need it. SD will be intentionally mean to DD. She enjoys buying or getting something that she knows DD has wanted. SD will buy it, show it to DD, rub it in her face and then hide it or throw it away, just to hurt DD and SD will never play with it. DS is almost 5 and no matter how many times DH and I have explained to him that SD IS his sister, he refuses to acknowledge that SD is his sister. DS says "No, mommy, she is not my sister!" I think this is due to the fact that SD has pushed him and DD away so much, he is basically done with SD. DD hasn't given up yet. And the only time SD is interested in playing with DD is after DD has begged SD to play and SD will happily tell DD that she doesn't want to play, but as soon as DD has moved on without hurt feelings is when SD will pull DD away from DS or whoever to play.

I thought things would be different. I thought they would be close, well as close as siblings with a 5 year age gap could be. I thought I did everything I could to encourage a healthy relationship. But with SD seeming to get more and more hateful as time goes on, I don't really want DD to be around SD anymore than she has to, sister or not.

Not sure what to do anymore.