Was there a single incident that caused you to not like your skids- or your feelings to change for them or was it over time?
I'm just curious as to how you came to the point (if you did) that you do not like your skid and that there are issues.
OSD21- I havent spent much time with her. But 90% of my interactions with her have left me like :? WTH. She is most like BM... soooooo..... We had a big blow up almost 2 years ago which really sealed the deal on us ever having a relationship. Which is fine because before that I thought she was rude and selfish and bitchy.
SS20- I am fine with him. Im indifferent to him. When he comes around which isn't very often I usually enjoy his visit. He hasn't done anything directly for me to have an issue with him. For the most part he has been "okay".
MSD18- When I realized she was stealing from me, lying about me to BM, playing both sides. We had a good relationship at one time. Even after she stole from me I tried to keep a decent relationship with her but she still continued to lie. Then its like she sided with BM and became a bitch to me. That was the last straw.
YSDstb15- Pretty much right away. She was just cocky and came across as entitled, annoying, know it all. Also the first weekend I was around her she told BM a lie about something that supposedly happened but did not.
A warning for me though was about 5 months after DH and I started dating. I invited him and skids (SS, MSD and YSD) to my family reunion. It's a HUGE deal. Family comes from all over the country, we get together, have fun, act crazy. It's a good time.
Well girl skids walked around in their BIKINIS! They snuck alcohol and got drunk at night when the adults were sleeping. They acted like pigs, like they never ate before. They drank like 5 cans of pops per everyone else's 1 or 2. No regard to other people. Doing anything to draw the attention to them. YSD 13 at the time insisted on sleeping in the tent with DH and I. Basically they ruined what was suppose to be my good time. They were awful. YSD reporting back to BM via texting the whole weekend.
I started to distant myself from them after that...... made me see who they really were.
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Nena this is exactly where I
Nena this is exactly where I am. It's not SD14 . . .it's really DH. SHe has a few personality quirks that I think he needs to handle but she's exactly like him! He gives me the nastiest silent treatment for weeks if I don't agree to something for/about/with SD. It's so bad I hate to even know she's coming and it ain't even her fault. He's made it to the point of where I just don't want to be bothered. I disengaged because of him not her. Poor kid, her dad just pushed me too far with always wanting to one up BM with our check book. He's trying to prove to BM that he's the better parent always. I think SD hates coming over just as much. He begs and guilts her into coming every single weekend. I'll be glad when she grows a pair and shuts him down. I told him today that I think SD and I would be really good friends if he would just stop expecting so much all of the time.
I really had no problem with
I really had no problem with my SD until she was about 15 or 16 and I found out that she believed the lies that BM had told her about me and DH. I didn't care what she thought about me but I couldn't believe she would think her dad did what BM accused him of.
Then she started lying to DH in an effort to manipulate him (and me) so that BM could get more CS. That pretty much did it for me. I don't hate her and I am polite to her when I see her (she's 22 now) but I do not care about her at all. I want her to have a decent life so that my husband doesn't worry about her but other than that, she is nothing to me. And I did love her at one time (obviously, not unconditionally).
I loved and fought as much as
I loved and fought as much as I could for the best interests of both my skids. I did get angry with SD because she missed so much visitation while SS came every time. Then I realized what BM's game was and cut SD some slack.
But once she had her first baby and then proceeded to not talk to my DH for THREE YEARS...yeah, I no longer trust her or want much of anything to do with her. Now she has another grandbaby that will not be in our lives very much. I hate to see the hurt she causes my husband.