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My 18 yr old SS, ruining relationship with my wife!

yoginatla's picture

My stepson is 18 years old. He's already been thrown out of his dads house, his grandmothers house, 6 high schools in 4 years. But his mother enables him, and I have no rights in my own house. The kid rules. He has been asked numerous times not to smoke at the house (pot or cigarettes). We returned from a trip over the weekend to find dirty glasses and ashes on the floor of my meditation room. He's helped himself to my room, in the attic above the garage. This was the final straw for me. My wife will not enforce any rules. Police called the other night because I was yelling at him about the smoking and she assaulted me, scratching my face. She has has numerous conversations with him, but really no enforcement. He comes and goes as he pleases, no job, loser, filthy, stinky, signs himself out of school because he is now 18. I'm at the point of separating from wife and selling house just to get away from the BS.

I also would like to mention that I did raise my 2 boys by myself after my wife was murdered in 1993. My oldest at the time was almost 4 years old. He found her stabbed in the bedroom. He always had issues after that. Last year was the 20th anniversary of her murder. He couldn't handle it anymore and overdosed on his 24th birthday and died.

Comments

Azure's picture

Your own wife assaulted you??? Run. Run now.
How long have you been married?

yoginatla's picture

I've already raised 2 boys by myself. My oldest overdosed last year on his 24th birthday and died. She wonders why this bothers me? Thank you for input.

Unfreakingreal's picture

I am so sorry about your wife and son. You need to walk away from this & find someone who knows how to raise their kids.

yoginatla's picture

I also would like to mention that I did raise my 2 boys by myself after my wife was murdered in 1993. My oldest at the time was almost 4 years old. He found her stabbed in the bedroom. He always had issues after that. Last year was the 20th anniversary of her murder. He couldn't handle it anymore and overdosed on his 24th birthday and died.

Goincrazy40's picture

OMG - I would so leave also. When you talk to your divorce attny, this kid is the THE reason for divorce. And the assault. You don't need to live like that.

yoginatla's picture

Thank you! In California they don't care what the cause of the divorce is. Unfortunately I have to give her half.

yoginatla's picture

In California they don't care what the cause of the divorce is. Unfortunately I have to give her half.

Shaman29's picture

CA is a community property state. Fortunately you don't have kids, so no child support. Hopefully no alimony or spousal support will go to her.

By the way, it's not your SS that is ruining your relationship, it's your wife. She is the problem. Though the SS is a troublemaker, she has been enabling and allowing this behavior.

Good luck in your appointment and I hope this goes quickly for you. Come back for support.

yoginatla's picture

I appreciate everyones support here!! It's awfully difficult to have to deal with the BS! I hate to have to leave, but it is only choice for my sanity!!

Shaman29's picture

I should amend my statement about your SS. He is an adult and should know better but it seems your wife, his bio-dad and supporting family members really dropped the ball on his upbringing.

Kicked out of multiple homes? Sheesh.

misSTEP's picture

I know a guy going through very similar situation except for they have a girl together, too. It is horrible and I hope that you, like my friend, do whatever needs to be done to get out of the toxic, abusive crap that is going on here.

I am sorry that you have had such heartache in your life.

yoginatla's picture

Thank you! Yes, it's very frustrating! I have only one choice and that is to leave!

yoginatla's picture

Yes, we've been to counseling regarding this very issue. I did call the police and they made her and the kids leave the house for the evening. I've filed legal separation and have real estate agent coming to sell house. She won't throw him out, I'll throw them all out! Thank you for your comments!!