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attitude

Annanymous's picture

Sd14 sat on her fat butt in leggings and short shirt.. weasels.. on her new phone for three hours. She grabs it at the dinner table and I say please put the phone down no phone at dinner. She quips back at me with an eye roll and a huff and a flip of her hand "I'M DONE". I said yup you're done with the phone for tonight hand it over. She sits there staring at me and doesn't move except to glare. Shitty rude lost pho e for tomorrow. Then when I leave room she says to Dhaka daaaaaaaddy what did I do ok I didn't do ok anythiiiing Waaaaah ... he told her she back talked rolled eyes and stared ugly. Yay Dh

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Anon2009's picture

You told her to put down the phone-why didn't DAD tell her to do so? She needs HIM to step up and be a parent.

Annanymous's picture

He wouldn't care. She drinks five or six large (16 oz to 24 oz) sweet teas and stays on the phone/internet all night and he doesn't see a problem with it or seem to notice. He doesn't notice her shitty glaring and doesn't see anything wrong with the way she says "IIIIIIM done eating SOOOOOO UGH". To him, she's telling me why she's on the phone and pitiful little thing reaaaally doesn't realize she's being rude or ugly. She knows what she's doing, but she plays it well. She "forgets" and "doesn't realize". It's such bullshit.

He'll back me up, but he won't stop her. I am starting to give up on her. She wears leggings and shows her butt (front and back) and it's sooo gross. She has a huge butt that flops. I have a flabby butt and am overweight, but I don't wear leggings and pull my shirts up over my ass to walk around like a spandex-wearing hippo.

I'm done. I don't care any more. She ate HALF A BOX OF WAFFLES yesterday morning and 24 oz sweet tea with breakfast..

I have myself, my DS1, and my unborn baby to manage. I'm done with this girl and her manipulation and her bullshit. Let her be rude; let her gain up to 300 lb; let her gorge; let her just be pathetic and feel sorry for herself all day.

I have tried and tried. I tried to raise her and parent her. I tried to be as good as I could and fill the mother role best as I could being NOT the mother ya know.

I'm faking it for 1,598 more days. Really, I have to fake it the rest of my life since she's DHs daughter and DS1's sister, but craycray will never babysit. She tells people she's going to drive SD1 to and from school and have talks with him about life. F that! She writes letters to EVERYONE about how pitiful she is and how abused she is when she doesn't get her way. There is no way in frozen-over hell she will ever be alone with DS1 or my dog for that matter if I still had my dog. She was so jealous of the dog it was scary and really sad.

The way she is must be our fault, we raised the little psychopath. I swear she has Reactive Attachment Disorder (disappearing mother in early life and mentally ill grandmother caregiver jeckel/hyde for a year then mom back then mom disappear then me) I tried to be loving, but over the past two years, I have lost it.

I'll keep trying and gritting my teeth, but I'm done with the bullshit. I'm telling DH if he wants her off the phone/internet HE has to deal with her, but I don't want the phone at the dinner table even if PRINCESS is done eating and I don't want the phone in the living room when we're watching TV. If he wants to let her on it, she can go to her room and miss the show and I will not save the recording either. pft.

Annanymous's picture

I can't. We pay about $200 on Sd14 meds, therapist weekly, and pyschiatrist. I'm coping by venting and washing my hands. I know she's jealous and manipulative and I just have to let go. She's not my problem any more. So long as she stays out of my drink and sn.k who cares if she eats five poptarts and 32oz Pepsi for breakfast when she sneaks down before I go to cook her breakfast. Yes I get up with her most days.

Last pregnancy it tore me up with her behaviors and I cried all the time taking her to psych ward for threat of suicide and saying she's abused I never did anything to her!! She makes up stuff not just on me but on others too.

This time around, I'm calm. i need to bitch and vent, but im not allowing her to affect me beyond being irked. This is why I wash my hands of her. I'm very nice and kind and buy her carp a d cook for her and speak nicely and take her out and let her friends stay over. Gave her new phone and $100 party. I keep my mouth shut and just say oh ok about her true luv or her eating or whatever.

She said she's going to be bad influence with food and drink for Sd14. I said awww it's ok you'll be grown and off to your own place by the time he's four. She announced that she's going to be living with me through college. I said oh nice but keep options open....

Anon2009's picture

Contact your state's department of mental health and their department of human services and ask them for counseling resources. Call your local YWCA and ask them for counseling resources. If you're religious, call your religious leader.

Annanymous's picture

Very not healthy. Pretty sure borderline.

DH has sole custody. We raised her since she was 4-1/2. She had visitation with BMP sporadically a couple years overnight once or twice a month off and on. No child support. No long visitation usually not even full weekend.

It is sad. i did the best i could. I didnt see the pathological jealousy until it got to that point. I didnt admit it because it sounded bad and i said shes not bad and jealous and spiteful no way! But she was. She has made allegations against a couple of men from eight years ago at visitation with BM. But she made up stuff on some people including me when she was in an episode and paranoid and p aybacking me for some perceived mistreatment.

She has not showered since Wednesday. Today is Sunday. She's on her period and had gym wed Thursday and Fri. She ate box of Macncheese and half a cake and a hella lot of tea...
now see I've patented her since she was four. I tended to her like a five year old last year with her cutting and regression over pregnancy. But she has to grow. .

So I stopped. I still cook her decent meals and pack her lunch but I refuse to be her food Nazi. Nope. Call me controlling nope!

She asked me today why I didn't make her shower or brush her teeth four days or stop her from eating. I said you're 14. You're capable of showering and brushing your teeth and if you choose not to you'll experience the natural consequences (being gross and smelling in public or school). I'm not standing over a grown teen so do it or don't do it. As for the food, I cook meals. I'm not going to spend my days monitoring a teens food. I'm not staying up to keep you from sneaking food. I will buy a couple of the things you want and if you eat it first day you do without until next month.

I would like to report that today she bathed ad brushed teeth and she did not gorge out so far. I've monitored and tried but I have to let her do it herself or suffer consequences on her own.

Same with homework. She tries to tell me she can't do it. I tell her show me the book info and show me the Google info or don't ask me. I'm not figuring it out for you any more. Time to walk. I'll try to help if she's looked it up first.

It's been hard few days. I feel like it might work though. I do tell her I do care and I care enough not to enable any longer.