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Having Stepkids Ruins Christmas

frustrated-mom's picture

Submitted by frustrated-mom on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 2:05pm

There already was Christmas music playing at a store today - Perry Como’s Home of the Holidays. It got me thinking that this illusion of the perfect Christmas the media has been trying to sell for the last century is so completely unattainable in today’s day and age with blended families.

We try to stage this perfect Christmas event that fits with this image of Christmas we’re indoctrinated with, but it’s never going to work with a blended family.

There’s no longer the family gathered around a Christmas tree or the dinner table like in a Normal Rockwell painting.

My son is spending the holidays with his BF in another state. On Christmas Day, DH will be shuttling SS7 & SS9 to their BM’s home 2 hours away (We have them Christmas Eve and morning).

As for SD15 (different BM), she told her dad she doesn’t want anything for Christmas from him and for him to f**k off and leave her alone. Charming. This sounds wonderful on the surface, but she sets him up to be the ass who doesn’t get his kid anything for Christmas and doesn’t visit. I wish he’d send her a stocking full of coal and switches, but he’d never do it.

What are DH and my Christmas evening plans? Probably a movie. DH is always in a bad mood after dropping off the boys. We’ll end up going to some stupid movie that has absolutely nothing to do with anything holiday related. Then the rest of the week DH will watch every football game televised.

I think Elvis is the only one who got it right. The only accurate Christmas song nowadays is Blue Christmas.

Comments

frustrated-mom's picture

Submitted by frustrated-mom on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 3:10pm

We’re having a pre-Christmas for my son before he leaves on the Thursday before Christmas but SS7 and SS9 will be at their BM’s then. Then on Christmas Eve we’re planning on having a big dinner in place of Christmas Day dinner for the boys.

I was sitting down trying to plan out menus and grocery lists. It’s not one big meal, but a bunch of special occasions all spread out.

Plus, there’s all the Christmas parties at school and for other groups. SS7‘s taekwando school is having a Holiday Party on December 10th, which is a weekend we have him, so I have to get something for that.

So much work. I use to do a lot of baking, but this year, I’m just going to pick up cookies at a bakery.

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 2:48pm

I only remember 1 Christmas that seemed "normal" my parents split when I was 7, my exH parents were divorced, now I'm divorced. Christmas has always been running from 1 place to another splitting and sharing families and I hate it. This year I add in 2 more kids and SO's family and his ex to shuttle kids between. I wish I could win the lotto then I'd build my dream home the one with the enormous dining room and living room so I could invite all my family, all my ex's family, and all my SO's and SO's ex's family cause I would just like to see every parent get to spend Christmas morning with their children regardless of petty jealousy, anomosity, or regrets. I know I'm a dreamer, but you'd be suprised how many of all our families would likely show up if I could do that and even though several would fake it for the kids they'd do it for the kids.

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

Submitted by dispiritedstepm... on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 2:56pm

oh yes, the 'fantasy holiday'. havent had a real true 'merry christmas' since i was in high school.

well, let me rephrase that. me and BD5 have a merry holiday, but BF and of course SD13 dont participate much.

but i refuse to let my child down. i am raising her to enjoy every aspect of the holiday: baking, lights, decorations, holiday movies, presents, family time. not JUST the gifts.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 3:24pm

skids ruin EVERYTHING...... i still do the tree, the decorations, the treats.... only to have skid sour puss faces ruin it...

FrickenFrackenBleep's picture

Submitted by FrickenFrackenBleep on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 4:29pm

If I didn't have any kids for Christmas I would talk my husband into going away for a few days of US time.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Sat, 11/19/2011 - 11:36pm

Ugh, sucks sorry. That sounds so depressing. They do ruin it. I am not looking forward to all the stupid sappiness of SD16 and SO. She annoys me and no one see's that she's spoiled rotten.

jaaanpddd's picture

Submitted by jaaanpddd on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:40am

Xmas is one of the nearly everybody accepted spiritual society in the western humankind chritsmas sms.Christmas is one of the happiest period of our existence.