My stepkid had a birthday early in the same month as my biokid. My DH asked if skid wanted a party or to have friends over for bday. DH asked several times. Answer was no. 2 weeks later it's my biokid's bday. We had a big picnic at the park, potluck & volleyball game & cupcakes... A full celebration. When I called to invite close family, I explained why we didn't have a gathering for my skid & we are for biokid. I also asked if they had a gift for stepkid to wait till they were leaving to give it to skid to open at home, not at party & not to make a big production of it, as the party was not a joint party & skid requested to not have a party. With that said, my MIL gave skid a gift & had him open it at the park within the first 15 minutes of the party. Also when we were singing happy birthday she called out skids name too. My DH & I were both very annoyed by it, but because my biokid didn't see the gift given & didn't have a reaction to her calling out skids name, other than saying "that's weird", we let it go without a discussion. This is the THIRD issue we have had with my MIL with birthdays. This weekend is another biokid's bday & I decided to not include the FIL & MIL. I feel bad, but I'm fed up with her trying to control our holidays. I feel very protective of the holidays bc of the stepkids & biokids both coming & going & just don't want her constantly disregarding our wishes. Am I unreasonable & not promoting family relationships? Or does she need to respect that it's our family?