Dear Husbands Daughter

Well, you’ve really done it now and I hope you can live with the consequences of your decisions. Ignoring your father and I since mid-summer yet living rent free in our home is getting old fast. This is not a flop house, this is our home. I had really hoped to fill it with love, happiness and pleasant memories but instead you have chosen to ignore us since shortly after we moved in. Why? I can only assume it is because we made you sign an “adult living at home contract”. And why did we make you sign it, because you refused to lift a finger to help out around our home; our family home. You expected us not only provide free room, board and utilities but you also expected us to allow you to live there without having any responsibilities to care for our home. You may not truly realize this yet but you are 18 (almost 19). You are an adult in the eyes of the law; you are no longer a child. There are plenty of 18 years currently away at war fighting for your freedom yet you can’t take the trash out or unload the dishwasher without being told. The contract was the only way your dad and I could come up with to explain clearly to you what is expected of you. In exchange for free room and board while attending college you are required to clean your room, your bathroom and vacuum about 30 feet of flooring. Certainly not too much to ask considering what you are getting in return. In addition, even though you are not my daughter, you are receiving 75% off your tuition at a top state university due to my 25 years of blood, sweat, and tears on the job. Are you grateful? No, you are not, that much is obvious.

You have your head so far up your own ass that you probably don’t even realize it yet but I am done with you. If I had to look back and put my finger on the exact date that I decided to no longer see you as my stepdaughter but instead as my husband’s daughter, it would be the night you posted on your FB about how horrible we are because we don’t pay your car insurance. It’s not like me and your Dad are rolling in dough and are flaunting it while making you pay for your own car insurance. It is because of you and your brother that your father never asked your mother for a dime of child support. He raised you on his own for 10 years and your brother for 2 years without a dime from your mother because he was so worried about you both hating him. And he did it on an almost minimum wage job salary. You weren’t the one to hold him while he cried wondering how he was going to feed his kids, how he was going to afford heating oil for the winter. He would have never burdened you with those kinds of worries but I was there for him. You weren’t there when his vehicle gave way after being held together literally by metal hangers, no dear that was me. You have no idea how much he was bothered by the fact that he had to use your $12,000 inheritance to purchase another car so that he could go to that low-wage job so that he could feed you and your brother and keep a roof over your head. If you could only pull your head out of your ass long enough to see that we have had to make major sacrifices now to repay that $12,000 to you now and we have, every single dime. We have each been working a full time job and a part time job to make the money up to you that he needed to “borrow” to buy that car. So, yes it may look like we make a lot of money now but take the $12,000 of that and then take the credit card debt off that. Yes, he had to use credit cards at times, he wasn’t going to let you starve or go cold in the winter. But all your eyes can see is what our taxes say and yes, if you look at that number, I’m sure we look rich in your eyes. BTW, we do both know that it was you who stole our tax folder two years ago, we also both know it was most likely your mother who put you up to it but I thank you, it’s nice to know right up front that we can’t trust you. You will notice we no longer keep any important paperwork at home.

I truly mourned the loss of our relationship; I had thought that perhaps you were just having a bad day or a rough time of it. Maybe you forgot that it was me who had a nice 15th birthday dinner for you, maybe you forgot that it was me who organized and executed your big 16th birthday party. Perhaps it just slipped your mind all the times I did those little things for you to brighten you day. But all hope was lost when I heard your gram on the phone with my husband after you filled her head with all the horrible things I did to you. Hearing her tell your father that I was the reason your brother left to go back to his BM, complaining that you shouldn’t have chores. I must say you are quite a good actress, she actually believes you clean the entire house. If your goal was to turn my husband’s entire family against me, you are succeeded. And yes, that was the day I stopped mourning the loss of our relationship. That was the day I was able to say good bye to you my stepdaughter, because you are no longer my stepdaughter now. You are my husband’s daughter. I will no longer defend you to him; no longer calm him down when he’s ready to blow up at you. No longer talk to him about extending your curfew. I’m done with you. You probably haven’t even noticed but I hardly say two words to you when you are around. I am counting the moments until you move out and on with your life.

This brings me to the point of this letter, your dad. This wonderful man who has raised you since you were a little girl now sees you for what you are. This man who has stood by you, defending you, fought for you, he now sees you for what you are; a manipulative, spoiled little brat. I do believe his exact words were “she’s an idiot just like her mother”. Today he finally admitted that he has had it with you and can’t wait for you to move out. Finally, we will have the home we have dreamed of full of love and happiness. You and your brother have ignored him long enough. Neither one of you want anything to do with him so now he wants nothing to do with either of you. The only reason I held him back today from kicking your ass out was because I have a much better plan in mind. I want to sit back and watch you fail all by yourself. Why give you the satisfaction of telling your gram and all your aunts how horrible we are for kicking you out when I can just sit back patiently and let you do it to yourself. We all know you will never survive your first semester in college, heck; you already dropped one class that you only attended one time. It’s only a matter of time before you quit completely. By then you will be 19 years old and it will be time for you to work full time at McDonalds and be on your own. And your Dad and I? We will be doing the happy dance. We will finally be rid of being used by you and your brother.

I hope you are can live with your decision because the damage has been done and nothing will change that.