You are here

Slightly O/T- My friend is going back to his ex (BM)

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 4:27pm

A good friend of mine is twice divorced. He has two sons with his first wife and no kids with second. He still slept with both of them from time to time. (He's the nicest guy you'd ever meet so I find this funny). He was the one who was always telling me to put an immediate stop to FDH ever going in BM's house because he thought it could lead to more.

So I just found out that he and BM decided to patch it up after being divorced for years. She is moving in at the end of the month.

THIS, my friends, is why we don't let our men go on dates and play family with their exes.

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 4:33pm

Yup...

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 4:45pm

I don't know if she knows yet. She is bat shit crazy and has stalked him before so I imagine this won't go very well.

And I agree. I would lose it entirely if we broke up and he went back to BM after all this.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 4:47pm

In BM's case, she is scoring. He really is a wonderful guy and a great father. I work with him so I know about how much he makes. He has a great job. And he's cute. They have actually known each other since they were 16. Lots of history.

I am more concerned for him. She's bi-polar and doesn't make good decisions sometimes. But he loves her and says they are both committed to making this work.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 5:14pm

He said she's being treated now and isn't worried about it. He says they have put a lot of thought into it. His oldest son was really concerned. They sat him down and told him that they both had grown up a lot over the years and were committed to making this work for everyone.

I really hope it works out. It would be devastating to all if it doesn't.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 5:57pm

I haven't followed your story. I don't understand what happened with your god daughter and Wife 1.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 6:03pm

I've said it before and I still believe, many of these men are not over the BMs. They are only with the new wife/SO because BM walked out, is on drugs, won't take her meds....
If BMs would get their acts together, those men would jump at the chance to be back with them.

Keeping a man away from his ex, won't change what's in his heart.

Life would be much easier if these men would just stay single instead of dragging other women into their sick world.

Bossladee's picture

Submitted by Bossladee on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 6:31pm

Well, I think if your friend and his first wife want to try again, why not, live and let live. As long as he wasn't cheating on his second wife, I don't think there's any real harm. They both ought to know each other pretty well by now and seen each other at their worst as well as best. I d think it's kinda strange that he slept with second wife after their divorce if she was crazy and stalkerish, wouldn't that confuse the situation more?

Disneyfan, I agree some men are not over their exes, as well as women. I have friends/aquaintances both genders that were on and off with their exes. My very bestest friend caught her dirtbag hubby cheating, she hated him, they divorced (had 3 kids) both went in and out of other relationships, then 6 years later began 'dating' again, she got pregnant, he moved back in. 8 years later, he cheated again. Luckily she wouldn't remarry him, but at least she knows now and forever what the 'coulda been' actually was. My own DH, however, no longer passionately hates BM, he is just simply disgusted by the kind of person she is. I once told SD's when they were little working on a family project that their daddy loved mommy, just not 'in' live (gag) and DH was quick to say that no, he did not. Wasn't nice, but he wanted there to be no uncertainty in that regard. I know DH very well, trust him implicitly. and there in NO way he would ever go back with BM. Not to mention its been 15 years since divorce anyway Smile

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 8:37pm

DH's ex was left by her first DH when he ran off with his secretary and married her. She later married DH for 15 years. She was probably the worst BM ever - extreme PAS, made up lies to IRS, court cases for years and years. There was total war.

When her DH got divorced she left DH and went back to him (he had more money). Both she and her now DH are despised by so many people. I've never met them. I met DH about 7 years after this happened. The ex left DH with literally the clothes on his back and in a small duffle.

Jokes on her though as she and her DH fight like crazy (one of my second cousins lives on their street but they do not know the connection to me). She was always a wanna be snob. You know the type - tries to be miss high and mighty when what they are is just fine. He's a self employed contractor and after the bust has had very little income.

DH and I while not wealthy are living a much better life than she is. DH told me that he's never been so happy. She is fuming that she cannot find some way to get her hands on MY money. Thank God she and DH had no children together.