I Should Go Away More Often
SO told me yesterday that he talked to BM2 (to whom he is still married...) about finally (FINALLY!) filing for divorce. Money is tight for him since he's a stubborn ass who refuses to ask for help, so he asked her to pay for it upfront and he would pay her back half in the fall.
Backstory: When she left him four years ago(key words: SHE LEFT HIM), SO was the one who paid first, last and security on her new place. And moved all of her stuff out of their house. He wasn't very keen on the idea of having to pay for the divorce, too, so he let it go, hoping she would file first. I finally hit my limit on listening to him make excuses and told him that if he hadn't at least talked to a lawyer by the time our cruise rolled around (October), that I would have to reconsider the seriousness of our relationship.
Whew.
All that said, apparently my ultimatum (which I HATED giving. I never wanted to be that girl...) and my leaving for 4 months lit a fire under his ass. It took A LOT for him to go to BM2 and ask for her to help with the costs. He's a very proud man, and I know it chapped his ass to do that.
They're supposed to go to the courthouse August 6th, so I guess I'll wait to see what actually happens. But what a weird set-up. She's going to file for divorce and he's going to be right there. Does that count as serving him with the complaint? LOL
I should mention that, of all of the issues I have to deal with, at least BM1 and BM2 are not major problems. BM1 doesn't even talk to me and if we're in the same space, I will happily walk away without being concerned. BM2 and I actually get along pretty well. I've babysat her new baby, and knitted stuff for her coworkers. She and SO were best friends before they got married, and they both know that they're just better as friends than anything else. To an outsider, the relationship they have is too cozy and I've been warned that I should worry. But I don't. I can't explain why, I just don't worry about it. My trust in him is deep.
And also, he knows I would castrate him and serve his balls for dinner if he ever cheated. I'm just saying.
Anyway, this was rambling and odd, but I just had to get some thoughts out.
- not your momma's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Eh. My exh and I are good
Eh. My exh and I are good friends and better parents now that we are divorced. He hangs around my house to visit with the kids and jokes with DH and I. I think other people are weirded out by it because they expect divorce couples to hate each other. Thankfully DH is cool with our relationship, but I do worry that a new woman in exh life might be insecure and ruin it. We shall see when the time comes! I paid for our divorce after two years of separation because I wanted to progress in my relationship with my now DH and felt it was unfair to him to still be legally married to another man. Ultimatums suck, but good for you for valuing yourself and respecting yourself enough to stand up.
I know my friends and my
I know my friends and my mother are weirded out by the not-awkwardness of SO and BM2's relationship. Honestly, I was a little weirded out about it when SO and I first got together, but my biggest focus was making sure that the youngest boy (BM2's son) wasn't affected in any way. He LOVES that his mom and I get along.
FWIW, SO has talked a lot about how unfair he has been with this whole situation, so I give him credit for that
I'm hoping. They co-parent
I'm hoping. They co-parent very well, so that's a good sign. I'm hopeful