Ok I really think there is something major going on at the inlaw compund and directly related to ss...
OK-this is all just conjecture but I really feel like something big is going down. And truth be told, Im excited about it. So don't dash my hopes. When things happen, things get shaken up, that's when change can occur and frankly changes have been long overdue in that household.
Here's why I think something is going down_
1)ss15 called dh last week after 7 months of silence. After telling dh he was done and no longer having a father. He just called him up as if nothing was wrong.
2)He's visited his bm the last two weekends in a row. He has not seen that much of her since she kicked him out 2 years ago-he has been on the every 3 month visit plan-and two weekends in a row is completely unheard of.
3)SS called dh's from bm's. I thought it was strange that he would wait to call when he was bm whom he doesn't see very often. Bm and DH have no interest in one another, haven't spoke in a long time, and just don't care so it's not like bm would want ss to call or ss possibly thought it would cause conflict. He just took time out from his bm to call dh.
4)SS told dh during this call that my sil is not allowed over at the inlaws anymore. Something related to ss not getting along with her kids-he was vague about it. This is the same sil who has 14 felonies for stealing my dh's identity and she wasn't banned from the inlaws then, instead she was the victim in their eyes. SS has also had a physicial confrontation with one of sil's kids before and they were hanging out the next weekend together at inlaws home. So ss's story about them just not getting along any more doesn't even seem to be remotely a reason for them to ban sil from their home.
5)My bil's daughter-who also lives at the inlaws has been gone to her mom's the last month. My bil has always had custody and my knowledge has never spent an entire month with her bm. My dd, who is facebook friends, with cousin, innocently asked her why she was staying with her mom so much and the girl got very defensive asking where she even heard that (duh the cousin told her the day before)-the cousin said, Oh yeah, I did-I'm here because my dad hasn't come and got me.
The other piece of info I have is a few months old, but supposedly ss15 was playing show and tell with his penis and sil's kids, who range in age from 10-16, both boys and girls. It seems the info is fairly reliable.
So, here's what I think-I think that ss15 did play show and tell and perhaps did more than that. I think my sil found out, confronted ss and my mil. I think my mil took my ss's side at least outwardly, but probably secretly realizes its true and that is why bil's dd is out of the home.
My ss15 thinks he is going to juvie Aug 5th. I don't really think he is-but if the family all thinks this then I could see that perhaps they are trying to keep bil's dd away until that time, and sil is staying away until he is gone, etc.
I know this is all conjecture. But I feel in my heart that his boy is a sexual predator and that it was simply a matter of time that he showed this behavior elsewhere. I DO want this to be true as then maybe someone will actually address the problem instead of allowing it to continue.
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Wow! I hope that they see the
Wow! I hope that they see the light. I am so freaking sick of all of these people (I am lumping my DH in on this one too!) not seeing what creeps their crotch droppings are.
I know overworked. It took
I know overworked. It took dh a LOOONNNGG time to see ss15's problems and even now I don't think he sees 100% clearly. Ive not shared this theory with him, but I did share that I think something is going down over there.
I feel like I would be just the opposite with my bios. I am just the opposite-I monitor them, question them, dig at them to get all the info I can and if there is any hint of any sort of negative thing that they are doing or that is going on with them I try to jump on it immediately so that I can try and fix it. I don't close my eyes and hope it goes away!
Exactly!! It's called
Exactly!! It's called parenting. We aren't there to be a friend we are there to guide them to adulthood. Geeezzz...
I think you are spot on... I
I think you are spot on... I mean wasn't this the same kid that was stealing yours and your DS panties when he was living with you?? Moving to BILs wasn't going to change him, it was just ignorning the problem. So of course the little punk is going to escalate his behavior.
It's just unfornuate that if this is what is going on, that other kids are going to be scarred for life because nobody was willing to reign this kid in.
Yes he was stealing my
Yes he was stealing my panties, my dd's panties AND my ds's underwear!
He is just creepy as well. As a therapist-Ive worked with all sorts of people and I'm going to straight up say that most sexual predators give off a vibe that immediately put you on your guard. I feel ss gives off that vibe. He walks in on people in the bathroom, he's constantly adjusting his penis, he stares at my dd a lot ( to the point in which other people notice and say something)-Even after he did the underwear theft last time and we installed keyless entry locks on our doors-he still managed to sneak into areas of the house that he knew he wasn't supposed to be in. In fact he would do things like go down into the basement (in which the lock was on the door because our bedroom and ds's was down there) and he would lie on the sofa and take a nap. He would have to go around to the back of the house and sneak in the sliding glass doors in order to do so. Its not like we didn't have a sofa upstairs and he had his own room with a bed in it? He would barge into MY bathroom when I was taking a shit. He barged in another time demanding to know where the peanut butter was when I had just stepped out of the shower and was in my towel. Another time he barged into our bedroom (again he knew it was completely off limits) and asked where my dh was so he could tell him good night-I was in bed half dressed at the time. My dh had given him a spiel on how the ladies of the house DID feel violated by him so he had to be careful to respect us and give us our space and privacy-and he STILL did these things.
Yes he was stealing my
Yes he was stealing my panties, my dd's panties AND my ds's underwear!
He is just creepy as well. As a therapist-Ive worked with all sorts of people and I'm going to straight up say that most sexual predators give off a vibe that immediately put you on your guard. I feel ss gives off that vibe. He walks in on people in the bathroom, he's constantly adjusting his penis, he stares at my dd a lot ( to the point in which other people notice and say something)-Even after he did the underwear theft last time and we installed keyless entry locks on our doors-he still managed to sneak into areas of the house that he knew he wasn't supposed to be in. In fact he would do things like go down into the basement (in which the lock was on the door because our bedroom and ds's was down there) and he would lie on the sofa and take a nap. He would have to go around to the back of the house and sneak in the sliding glass doors in order to do so. Its not like we didn't have a sofa upstairs and he had his own room with a bed in it? He would barge into MY bathroom when I was taking a shit. He barged in another time demanding to know where the peanut butter was when I had just stepped out of the shower and was in my towel. Another time he barged into our bedroom (again he knew it was completely off limits) and asked where my dh was so he could tell him good night-I was in bed half dressed at the time. My dh had given him a spiel on how the ladies of the house DID feel violated by him so he had to be careful to respect us and give us our space and privacy-and he STILL did these things.
That kid needs some help. I
That kid needs some help. I hope you're right about everything!