I had a conversation with FDH about SD's writing on the wall of her room and what I considered to be atrocious behavior on July 4th. His reaction was that he is going to talk to SD Thursday when she's here about writing on the wall, make her clean it up and any other (non-existent) marks on the wall as a consequence. He really doesn't think it's a huge deal. I am sure he'll forget about it by the time she arrives. He also thinks her behavior at the block party was just "what happens when you bring an intensely shy kid to a party". He also thinks her appearance was fine.

So, I've thought about it for a few days. I love FDH. I want to stay with him. But I can't handle SD anymore. So my only choice is to pull back. However, I don't think I need to let her get away with defacing my property. I am going to talk to her about this weekend if he doesn't bring it up. I will make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that writing on walls and behavior like that is unacceptable and something I would expect of a four year old. He better hope he talks to her because it won't be pretty if I have to.

Other than that, I am out. I will address issues related to my home and pets. I will tell her immediately if she's doing something wrong related to those. But I won't allow her to attend events at my friends' homes anymore. And if she doesn't want to go to bed, shower, get dressed, get off her computer, I am just not going to care. I am also not going to care if she drops out of school because of her computer addiction. I am not going to care about anything that happens to her. She has two parents who clearly don't think there is anything wrong. Hell, he still hasn't even made an appointment with her counselor to get ideas on helping her. (And if he does, I am telling him it's too late and I am not going).

As far as I am concerned, he doesn't want my help with her, no matter what he says. He just wants to put his head in the sand. No problem, FDH... my head is now in the sand too. In fact, my head won't even be in the house 90% of the time she's here going forward. You two have at it!! When she comes Thursday, I may or may not be here. I will work somewhere else on Friday and stay at a friend's Friday night. I will come home around 6PM on Saturday. FDH will have a friend here that evening and I won't care if his friend sees SD looking like she hasn't bathed in weeks-- no reflection on me. On Sunday, I will go about my business as if she's not there. Just like last time I disengaged, I will not participate in "family" outings because she ruins them. And this is what every other weekend will be like for months (maybe even years) to come.

Tired of fighting. Tired of being mad at him over her. Tired, tired, tired.... exhausted and sad really.Just. Can't. Do. This. To. Myself. Anymore!