Stupid sh$t my exH says
A post in the forum about CS made me think about my exH and what he said about it.
He was complaining that he couldn't claim our two daughters on his tax return since he pays "so much" in CS. He said could we at least split the kids so each of us claim one. I told him, not only was that illegal, but there was no way I was letting him claim them, not even one of them.
For one, he gets the girls ONE day out of the week. I take that $300 a month CS he pays and never ask him for anything extra for anything. I supply clothes for them to wear over to his house. Sometimes I was even sending them with food because my D14 was complaining that he had nothing to eat at his house. Any doctor/dentist bill, I pay what my insurance doesn't cover. Any extra curricular, I pay for, I don't even ask him for it.
Anyway, when I told him no to claiming the kids on his tax return do you know what he said? "Well, I might as well not even pay child support. I know plenty of guys whose baby mama don't even ask them for CS! Josepf don't pay any CS to his baby mama!"
I said "well, Josepf's girl must be getting welfare" He said "no, she doesn't." I couldn't say anything then.
I know, it really doesn't matter what someone else does in their relationship, but I hate that I can't come back with a good answer when he says things like this. It would be nice to be able to come up with some reply that would just shut him up when he says things like this.
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Comments
Congratulations, your friend
Congratulations, your friend is a worthless deadbeat? Or how about - wow, he must be up for father of the year!
^^^ like this one! ^^^
^^^ like this one! ^^^ Although he might actually miss the sarcasm in the father of the year remark and think I was being sincere.
I don't think you need a come
I don't think you need a come back remark. I'd just look at him with a stare that says "Damn you are stupid."
Still better than my exh who
Still better than my exh who every year aska me to give him part of my return to pay down wbat he owes in back csyes pay my own cs arrers, just tell him does hebwant to be decent daddy or deadbeat daddy?
That's some big balls. Some
:jawdrop: That's some big balls. Some people just have no shame.
holy hell. could totally see
holy hell. could totally see ex doing this. he has 2 kids with 2 people that he had when i left his ass. i think i would just stare with my jaw hanging open, though. even though it wouldn't be a total surprise out of him. he did show up at my door once with some girl, and he says "you don't really care about the money, do you?" he wanted me to sign off on cs to make his life easier. i told him i couldn't care about something i don't even get, but that i was still not signing off just to make his life easier after all he had done to make mine harder. his attitude changed in an instant and suddenly i was a petty bitch, a money hungry bitch, etc. as if i ever would have wasted a second of my time on that jobless loser if i was money hungry. sounds to me more like he's money hungry since parting with a dime to support his own child is so damn repulsive to him.
Yeah, funny how that double
Yeah, funny how that double standard always works.
I have one for this... My
I have one for this...
My exH tried to get me to take on half his student loans in the divorce AFTER I paid the bills while he went through 8 years of SCHOOL! I was so pissed off. I was like 'Um, you want me to pay for your EDUCATION AGAIN?? I already did that! Remember how I was paying all the bills while you WENT to school.'
He backed off after that.
he should be able to claim
he should be able to claim one child if he is paying child support.
My DHs agreement says he's
My DHs agreement says he's able to claim one and she claims the other as long as there are no arrears.Seems fair. Youre the one that had kids with someone with low earning potential at least you get help from him but you want to complain that it's not enough?? Your mistake.
That's your DH's agreement,
That's your DH's agreement, not mine. And I wasn't complaining what my ex pays in CS isn't enough. I was asking for how to respond when he says stupid stuff like he shouldn't pay ANY CS at all because so-and-so doesn't.
Well la tee freaking da.
Well la tee freaking da. Guess you don't need steptalk seeing as you've got it all figured out. Judge much? And legally speaking, the parent receiving cs is the one that claims the kids. Unless you work something out otherwise in the co.
Thats what i say...U decided
Thats what i say...U decided to have a kid with a POOR man, well tough luck!
if he's poor with u, he will
be even poorer without u! so accept whatever he CAN give u for ur child.
Really? I'm loving your
Really? I'm loving your logic. So what happens if you marry a man making $ six figures a year and he still doesn't pay child support? He was rich with you, but fuck all, you were the one who procreated with him so it's ok if he just skates away. It's just "tough luck"?
Seriously? what do U expect
Seriously? what do U expect from a guy that has no hs diploma and gets paid 10$ an hour?
Its not like the women didnt know that the babydaddy wasnt making alot of money.....Come on!
Im not defending Deadbeats btw...Im just saying that "dont expect much when u didnt have much"!
Seriously? what do U expect
Seriously? what do U expect from a guy that has no hs diploma and gets paid 10$ an hour?
Its not like the women didnt know that the babydaddy wasnt making alot of money.....Come on!
Im not defending Deadbeats btw...Im just saying that "dont expect much when u didnt have much"!
So $300 a month is expecting
So $300 a month is expecting a lot? Where in my OP did I say I expected a lot from my ex? I know how much he makes. I know how much his rent is. His CS is actually supposed to be $438 a month, but I agreed to reduce it to $300 a month.
Guiltystepmom - Like I said
Guiltystepmom - Like I said before: I'M NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT WHAT MY EX PAYS IN CS. I'M ASKING HOW TO RESPOND WHEN HE SAYS STUPID STUFF LIKE HE SHOULDN'T PAY ANY CS AT ALL BECAUSE SO AND SO DOESN'T.
And yes, I put in all caps, maybe that will help with the reading comprehension problems!
im sorry U had a kid with an
im sorry U had a kid with an idiot...and dont tell he WASNT an idiot when he was with u.
Hence the reason he's my now
Hence the reason he's my now EX-Husband. Don't worry, I blame myself enough as it is for trying to make the marriage work for all those years.
Actually this isn't factual.
Actually this isn't factual. It might be in YOUR CO that he can't claim one of the kids, but the IRS has no law or requirement against splitting the claiming of children on your taxes.
Many COs include this provision.
I'm not suggesting he should claim them I'm just pointing out that it isn't "illegal" as you said.
What I mean is since both
What I mean is since both children reside with me more than half the year, tax law states only I can claim the children. Right, it's not really "illegal" per se, but I'm thinking if we were audited, we could get in trouble with the IRS.
Disagree. Child support is
Disagree. Child support is only a small fraction of what it costs to raise a child. I work my ass off to make sure that my kids have everything that they need. I have to provide the home, clothes, books, hair cuts, dr. copys, dental work, sports activities and all that goes with that, etc! The list goes on forever. My exH will not get to claim our bios on taxes.
I know! Actually, one
I know! Actually, one daughter is seven, but still, I get your point!
Guys, this is a guy whose
Guys, this is a guy whose family thinks he is father of the year just because he didn't run off and abandon his kids like his father did. That is the type of mentality I'm dealing with here.
I don't know if there's anything I could say that would sink in, but it would be nice to have something to say if nothing else but just to shut him up.
my ex likes to tell stories
my ex likes to tell stories about me to his gf's too. one of them didn't know jack shit about me but proceeded to tell me how horrible i am, and that i slept with half the state behind his back and told him bd wasn't his, bla bla bla. bitch didn't know a damn thing about me, but since he told her those things, they MUST be true. (eye roll). funny how she was so quick to believe that, but i'm a liar when i tell ex that bd does NOT want to see him and i'm not forcing her to see him just because he showed up unannounced. surely i am lying and my kid is super eager to see this virtual stranger who has never done anything for her.
I'm right there with you,
I'm right there with you, apples. I prefer not to deal with my ex and his endless drama. The kids are better off without him. Oh, and he pays $0000000 in child support. Deadbeat is a mild understatement regarding this douche.
my idiot ex thinks and has
my idiot ex thinks and has always thought that since i can take care of bd18 by myself, i should. he shouldn't have to pay anything because i have custody and i have a job. there is no response for that kind of idiocy.
My ex thought since I made
My ex thought since I made more money than him, that he shouldn't have to pay any CS either. I told him, just because I make more money than you, does not mean you don't have to provide anything for them.
i did tell him that me being
i did tell him that me being responsible, having a job, and taking care of my child does not excuse him from HIS OWN responsibilities from her. i told him that even if i won 50mil in the lottery, he would still have a responsibility to her. fucking idiot.
Good for you! Both parents
Good for you! Both parents have a responsibility to provide for their kids. Just because one is a millionaire doesn't mean the other one is off the hook.
I'd be asking how the hell he
I'd be asking how the hell he knows. Is he fucking her? Otherwise I doubt he has a fucking clue.
You know, I'm really
You know, I'm really surprised at posters turning on one another here regarding this issue. They are almost hostile about it.
Yeah, I don't get how some
Yeah, I don't get how some posters don't comprehend that I wasn't complaining about how much ex pays, just wanted to suggestions on what to say when he says stuff like he shouldn't have to pay ANY child support.
I understand. My ex
I understand.
My ex actually pays $00000. So all these posters up on their high horses should be careful they don't get hurt when they fall off one day. It's dangerous to cast stones when you are living in a glass house yourself.
Yep.
Yep.
i think what they are doing
i think what they are doing is personalizing the issue. their dh's may be getting treated unfairly regarding cs, so they aren't seeing what you are saying, they are seeing what the bm in their life does to their dh. unfortunately that happens a lot on the internet. people lose sight of the point and make things that have nothing to do with them personal.
Yeah, that would explain the
Yeah, that would explain the lack of reading comprehension. It IS hard not to personalize what we read on the net, or offer input based on our own background and experience.
haha! i wish my ex paid 300 a
haha! i wish my ex paid 300 a month, too! that sounds like A LOT to me! that's because he's never paid a damn dime, even after being jailed for a year over it. see? everyone's experience makes them see things differently, but i try to not lose sight of a person's point. just because 300 would be a lot to me, does not mean you are wrong to think it's low. it probably is. but i can only go by recieving nothing because that is all i know.
the site i belonged to before
the site i belonged to before finding this one had a major personalizer on there and i was her favorite target. i swear, i think every time i vented about sd, she pictured her own daugther being my sd. it was beyond ridiculous. she got to where she was putting words in my mouth and she seemed to think i was straight from hell. even her own little groupies starting telling her to lay off and that she was getting ridiculous and out of control. i left that worthless board. and guess who left after she figured out that i wasn't coming back?
>Well, I might as well not
>Well, I might as well not even pay child support. I know plenty of guys whose baby mama don't even ask them for CS! Josepf don't pay any CS to his baby mama!<
See this here is called a "False attribution". Your ex is quoting a source that you cannot validate in order to lend credence to his argument. Best way to counter these is to make "false attributions" of your own.
"And I know plenty of women who recieve over a $1000 a month in CS for ONE child and they are dragging their ex-husband's asses to court to get even more money. Their ex's cannot claim either"
See? It works both ways.
Thanks, Draco. You're right,
Thanks, Draco. You're right, he's using stories to back up his claim. Good tactic, thanks!
He used to do this when we were married. So-and-so's wife makes lunch for him every day, AND she works full time as well. Used to piss me off getting compared to someone I didn't even know!
this douchebag sounds like an
this douchebag sounds like an entitled skid!
Entitled, spoiled, brat.
Entitled, spoiled, brat. Temper tantrums and all. Once when he lost a game on his stupid xbox, he'd throw the controller and broke it. Don't get me started! My only regret is not divorcing him sooner.
wow...just wow...
:jawdrop: wow...just wow...
I hear ya dtzyblnd. I may
I hear ya dtzyblnd. I may have to borrow this tactic when my DW starts complaining that it isn't fair that I spend X amount more on BS and BD and they have more opportunities at our home because they live with us full time. I may very well have to say "If you feel guilty because SS doesn't have the same opportunities, that is a YOU problem. That is not a ME problem. I want BS and BD to have every opportunity in life that a father can afford them. If you find this short changes SS somehow, you take it up with Donkeykong."
it makes me laugh when you
it makes me laugh when you call him "donkeykong". how did he get that nickname? i call my ex "fucko" because, well, that's what he is, a FUCKO.
We call him Donkeykong
We call him Donkeykong because of his videogame addiction. Now I like video games too. I love them in fact. But when it gets to the point where you are neglecting your chores, family obligations, work, your wife and even your own personal hygiene...I *think* you have a problem. That is one reason we call him Donkeykong. The other reason is that he tends to beat his chest and bully his way into saying when we can and when we can't have SS for our custody time. Seriously, this ape needs to learn to actually READ the CO that was put in place. If I had a nickle for every time we responded to an email of his with actual citations from the CO to get him to come to heel. Of course this only serves to anger him further. He actually told DW that she must sleep with the CO. DW responded with "And you sleep with your video games. What is your point?"
It all depends on what the CO
It all depends on what the CO says. But the IRS says whomever is providing the majority of support.
My DH had to fight to get the right to claim one of the two skids on his taxes. BM fought it. Finally, the judge did the math himself and said to BM that she was shooting herself in the foot because my DH would pay more in CS if he got to claim one and she wasn't making enough money (or ANY money!) to get the full benefit of BOTH the exemptions!
She still fought it. Because she thrives on the conflict.
Well, when our BM took DH
Well, when our BM took DH back to court for CS after we had primary custody for SD for FOUR YEARS and never asked for a penny of CS, she actually had her lawyer argue that because she does not work, she does not have any obligation to support SD. Therefore, Dh's CS obligation should be based of 100% of the cost to raise SD. Crazy much? She quit her job when she got remarried after divorcing DH, and now her kids are in school and she still doesn't work. I'm amazed that the excuse that you sit on your as* all day voluntarily (she was making as much as DH while they were married) is an excuse to not have to support your own child.
I was out of work due to just
I was out of work due to just giving birth to DD and I was about to start full time college classes in a month. Child support was figured with me working 40 hours a week at $9.00 an hour. Since I have been in school full time I have not worked and the few times I have worked it was at crappy minimum wage jobs. I chose not to go back and have CS modified even though I was told I could once I started classes.
My exBIL divorced his wife and she quit work to stay home with their DD and she tried to stick him for a ton of CS. The judge said no way and figured it out based on her earning potential. ExBIL had paid for her to get her Masters and she worked for a number of years with it before she accidentally got pregnant after 20 years. LMAO at that little marriage fix.
You should check with your attorney about earning potential since your BM chose to quit work.
Yeah, we ended up agreeing to
Yeah, we ended up agreeing to impute to her an income of $10 an hour. But her original assertion was just ridiculous!
OMG. i thought this insane
OMG. i thought this insane nonlogic was unique to my ex. he also thinks if he isn't working, he shouldn't have to pay. (of course he doesn't think he should have to pay anyway, no matter what is or isn't going on). i guess as long as he isn't working, bd doesn't need to eat, either. it's a good thing that SOMEONE gives a shit, because according to his nonlogic, her needs are based on his willingness to work, which is nil.
I can see getting a bit of a
I can see getting a bit of a break in those circumstances where you are out of a job through no fault of your own and are actively seeking reemployment. In those cases, maybe a free month or so (that you make up later when you're reemployed) would help you get back on your feet. But yeah, I have no pity for a woman who quit her job on purpose so she could cry poor, while her DH works TWO full-time jobs to support the family.