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trying to help, but needing help too

LoveMyPets's picture

I keep reminding myself it could be worse, but some days i feel so overwhelmed. My step daughter thinks she owns the world now that she has a car and her license. We wanted to teach her the value of a dollar, she bought her own car, and pays her own insurance, she works 30 to 40 hours a week, and goes to school full time, she's got one more year till she graduates high school, she rarely misses school, and never misses work. She's got lots of potential and could do so much, but she doesn't want to. She lies about everything, will not respect anything we ask her, she's smoking pot several times a day, and driving stoned. We were unaware of the extent of it because of all the lies. after a blow up with her boyfriend's Mother some truth emerged. We signed her up for counseling when she moved in a year ago. and in the last month we signed her up with the school social worker, the schools addictions counseler, we've talked to the principal, teachers, and will do what ever we can to get her the help she needs, but if she doesn't want it. what can we do?
My husband has been wanting to throw her out, this was blow out number two about lying. and she knows how we feel about drugs. Shes still in our home because of me. and I'm the one stressed the most about her. I'm just not able to handle stress, I had a mental break down in the past, and I will not sacrafice my emotional and mental health again.
Her close friend got busted at school with a lot of pot on him baged to sell. That same day is when she had her blow out with her boyfriends mom. it was a rough day for her, and when she got home she lost her lap top, cell and car for two weeks. she has even asked a cop if her father can legally take the car from her because she's paying for it herself. he explained that she's living here and should listen to the rules, that cop is the one that arrested her friend, he knows what she's up to.
I was so upset before christmas because she wouldn't shower and wouldn't brush her teeth, and now... I want her out of my home.
She has told several people that i lost a pregnancy, and its came back to me about how happy she was that i lost the baby. I knew i was pregnant for about 10 days, she had an abortion 6mths before that, she was devestated that i was pregnant. the whole time was all about her, consoling her, and trying to make her stop crying. She pitched a fit on me for asking her not to call me 'mom', (she has a mother. She spazed out on her Dad cause she assumed I was up set, all this to try run away for the night to her boyfriends.
All this drama is driving me nuts, we have a couple weeks of peace and then something turns up.
I beat myself up for being weak and letting her crap upset me so much. but I refuse to have a pot head living in my home and tell ME how its gona be.

Comments

oldone's picture

Send her to juvie and let them deal with her until she turns 18. And never let her darken your doorstep again. no brainer. remove toxic people from your life.

whatwasithinkin's picture

personally sounds to me like normal teenage shit.

She doesn't miss work, works 30/40 bucks a week and she is a junior. Doesn't leave a whole lot of time to party.

pot is being legalisized

growing pains.