Don't you just want to say to him that you don't like him either?

Let him entertain himself this summer. If he sits in front of the tv or video game oh well. Let dh be his cruise director and have fun with your kid. He is old enough to do his own thing or be dumped off at the library.

I think he said it because he knows how much it would hurt you. And at this stage if he has his life in turmoil then he is probably jealous of your son seeing he spends more time with his Dad than he does and you are the reason that happens.

So this summer DH needs to enroll him in day camps. You cannot be available to take care of him. I mean, you have your own son to take care of don't you? And if he is so intent on being hurtful then it would be best if he just isn't left in your care. And if your DH complains just ask him why he would subject his son to an awful summer with the 2 people he hates most in the world?

Ya reap what ya sow Mr 13. And I see a bumper crop coming into season!

I would recommend disengaging. 13 is old enough for him to do alot for himself.
Make food available he can warm up himself, dont cook elaborate meals, make DH responsible for his entertainment, transportation, etc if your help is need he/they need to ask you
if there is something going on or a scheduling conflict, make yourself unavailable.
Ive begun to do some disengaging on a limited basis, which is hard when a child is with you 100% of the time.
Ive done & do alot for my SD, and I know she has issues from abuse & neglect, but its not a free pass to treat me like crap, lie to everyone about me & her dad and not follow basic rules.
I told her dad Im beyond hurt and I've told her since she's accused me of being uninvolved and neglectful I will be uninvolved & see how she likes it - she knows I pay and do everything for her, now its all on dad, clothes, sports, toys, transportation, meals, etc.
Im on day 3 of leftovers because if she wont do her kitchen chores, I cannot be expected to cook in a messy kitchen that is already small to begin with.

Not sure if we are allowed to post external links, but msg me if you'd like an article/site on detaching.

ive been here when SD was 12, then again when she ws 16 and as a matter of fact she not only was outright about not liking me but told DH that she wanted him to leave me and get his own place so it could be the "three" of them again. DH told her she will some day move on and he may not like her boyfriend but he will not have the right to tell her what to do with her future just as she does not have the right to tell him.(personally I think it may be a girlfriend but who's splitting hairs here?)And he was not going to sit around and wait that he has a life too. She was 12 at the time, pretty ballsy dontcha think?

this action didnt repeat at 16 because she knows he is not "leaving" me for her, now she just repeatedly tells DH and any inlaw that will listen how awful I am.

This is the same child who's mother beat her ass so bad she couldnt go to school for two days, and that IIIII not her father IIIII had to call our attorney and push for removal of custody from BM.

BM gave it up willingly and with in 20 minutes of court ending I had a truck full of trashbags (this is now BM packed) and I was on my way 500 miles to give THEIR child a new life. This is the child I removed, added to MY health benefits, got her glasses and braces, brought her up to date on her shots, provide school clothes and supplies, sat on three occasions with every teacher she had, provided a christmas for by telling my kids I would have to short them to help DH cover her since we did not account for her being with us at christmas, yep thats her Miss I dont speak to my Sm, she is a bitch and I hate her.

Well this time the feeling is mutual I will never EVER EVER take her into my home, life or heart again. Im done

Stop giving your time to this little boy...your efforts will probably never be rewarded and or better yet respected

I had the same situation and I know how much it hurts. My SS turned 13, got an attitude, gradually built up a grudge against me without saying anything and then told his Dad that he just didn't like me after we had a couple of arguments about chores and being bossy with DD. Then he stopped coming to the house. I was heartbroken, I had been a caring attentive stepmum since he was 5 and he just cut me out of his life. Now DH sees him twice a week on neutral ground. A year and a half later I am still coming to terms with it. The best thing you can do is step back, try not to brood on what he said and put it down to temporary insanity due to puberty. In all honesty I don't think teenage boys are able to communicate about their feelings and have a tendency to just shut down and blame someone else for their problems. In fact when they grow up they don't seem to get much better at that!

My SS16 told his dad he doesn't like me. And during a fight SO shared this with me. I was not surprised. I told SO I didnt like his son so no love lost. And I asked SO to name one person not related to SS who likes SS. He couldn't because SS has no friends. This was harsh but I thought it was unfair to expect me to like someone who doesn't even have one friend. SS just has no personality, and he expects everyone else to pay attention to him without any effort on his part.

And I also told SO that SS doesn't like me primarily because I'm the one person who comes between SS and exclusive access to his dad. He relies on his dad for all if his social interaction.

I believe what Wednesday Martin says about this. Stepkids dont like what their SMs represent. They are really hurt and angry at their parents, but because they love their parents they redirect their hurt and resentment to other more affordable targets, like you and your son.

Skids are here 50%, I feel about my SS like you do. I will not lie, I do not like my SS7. Known him since he was 2, constant disappointment and he clearly hates me, I am done, disengaged.

How do I do it, here are a few things...

I make dinner for the family, DH, SS7, SD13, BD8, BD13... I make what I want, I do not 'do it for SS' therefore I hold no expectations or even care if he eats or not, that is DHs problem.

I do laundry for the family, I instruct the kids once to get their stuff, if SS doesn't bring his down (which he doesn't) I don't wash it with the others, I do not go out of my way to ensure he has laundry... that is DHs problem.

Since SS7 chooses not to listen to me and DH chooses not to enforce SS7 to listen to me, I don't take SS7 anywhere, if DH chooses to bring him that is totally fine, but I do not take SS7 anywhere on my own, I am not responsible for a child who cannot and doesn't have to listen to me, therefore he misses out - I run errands or go places when he isn't in the home or I go without him.

When SS is asked to clean his room by DH and doesn't, I simply close the door so I don't have to look at it.
When SS lies to DH (example, DH: Go shower, SS: turns on shower, waits for 5 mins, shuts it off, comes back with dry hair and says he is done) I turn the other cheek, that is DHs problem.

etc, etc, etc

I do things for myself and others who are appreciated, SS reaps some of the benefit (he is fed, his clothing may be washed etc) but I do not go out of my way for him anymore - i spent 2 years being shunned, ignored, disobeyed, etc while I went out of my way to 'please' SS trying to 'make him like me'. I no longer care if he likes me or not, HIS LOSS. I provide basic needs since I have others to provide for, but I do nothing specifically just for SS anymore - that is long gone.