Don't know what to do!!!! Please help!!!!
I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. I met his son (3 years old then) when I first found out I was pregnant. I adored his son. After my bf not having a job and me working full time and prego a lot was going on so he wasn't able to get his son much at all. Maybe twice. I have my son and now he's almost 6 months and my bf son comes every other week. It is hell!!!!! I'm not sure what changed but anything josh (his son) does drives me up the wall. He WHINES about EVERYtHING. My bf doesn't believe in spanking because of his past. But josh jumps all over the couch. Stands on the dining chairs. Says our child Andrew hits him. Josh says my mom kicks him. Doesn't eat anything. The only thing I've seen him eat is pancakes and anything to do with peanut butter. He lies. Every time he coughs and sneezes (which is a lot bc his parents says he won't take med and he has terrible allergies) we have to tell him to cover his mouth. And then we watch him and he doesn't but lies and says he does. My bf just laughs and thinks its cute. My bf even thinks his whining is cute. My friends doesn't want me around when we have josh because they can't take the whining. Josh doesn't go to bed til after 12 am and when I talk to my bf about it he makes up excuses for everything. "We'll josh took a long nap" or "we'll it's not a problem because he wakes up in the morning". I will tell you his eating is so bad his parents had him test for diabetics. One time I saw him eat chips for breakfast. A cupcake for lunch. And cookies for dinner and Reese's. I can't take it. I love my bf and do want to marry him but I don't know how to over come this. Every time josh is here we fight so bad. My bf doesn't see jos do any wrong. Josh is now growling at him when he gets on to him and when I question my bf about it he laughs and says he just kidding. Josh is now yelling at him and when you go to put him in time out he says don't tell me no and that your a bad person and when that little fit is over we ask hi why he got sent to time out and he just repeats he's sad and that your a bad person. My bf treats his 4 year old like a baby infant. He treats our baby (6months ) like a 4 year old. I am not sure it's because we love 3 hours away for josh or because he's not together with his ex wife. But like another time he was taking a bath my baby was asleep and I told josh to be quite and my bf got on to me bc he said that was too mean. To say settle down. That be quite is like telling him to shut up. I can't take it anymore. I can't disappear when he's here bc my bf already know I can't stand it and honestly idk what else I can do. My bf calls him every night when josh isn't here to tell him goodnight and when josh is here his mom calls and tells him goodnight. This kid is like going to be 40 years old living in one of his parents basement. All my bf says is I have nothing but negative things to say about his son. Which may be true but he doesn't see how awful his son is. Someone please help me overcome this. I love my bf so much.
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Comments
I sometimes want to but when
I sometimes want to but when his son isn't here, it's so wonderful! Also forgot to mention, when josh is here, he wakes up every night screaming "daddy" wakes up my 6 month old son and whines for his dad to tickle his back. If my bf doesn't then all hell breaks loose. And I swear josh cries more than my 6 month old.
The kid sounds like a real
The kid sounds like a real spoiled brat and is only going to get worse as he get older if his parents don't stop allowing him to do just what he wants. He needs rules, boundaries and consequences and if your bf thinks his whining and back talking is cute then you have a real problem on your hands. You'll probably have problems with your own son when he starts trying to copy his half brother's behaviour, and if your bf continues with his double standards and treats the boys differently, your child will end up confused, resentful and feeling second best to his older half brother. I'm sorry to say I don't see a happy ending to this unless your bf changes his attitude and starts parenting your skid properly. Bratty 4 year olds whose behaviour is not corrected pronto will grow up to be bratty, entitled kids and selfish, trouble making teens. I know you love your bf but his attitude towards raising his son sucks and this is should be a massive red flag.
Let's face it, it is not the
Let's face it, it is not the kids fault but his Disney dad attitude that allows an innocent little boy to turn into a spoiled monster.I would be resentful, too, since this child has turned into a unlikable out of control brat.His dad seems to be in denial which takes you into a weird position- you (and probably other people) see the problem , but his dad , who is the responsible caregiver doesn't and even tells you off for being "negative"towards his kid.I would think about it very hard if you want to commit or marry someone who is failing as a parent plus doesn't give you the respect of listening to your opinion.This has only just started and Josh is only 5.x
You may love him to the moon
You may love him to the moon and back but ... does he love you as much?
And is that enough?
Sorry honey, you picked a crappy one. Get out.
Not quite sure why BF
Not quite sure why BF couldn't see his son when he was out of work? Surely that gave him more time to spend with his son. It's pretty unfortunate to spend very little time with your 3 year old, and then suddenly introduce a new baby and expect everything to be ok. A childs aptitude and attitudes change dramatically between 3 and 4 and it sounds like your SO is still treating his son like a baby. With no rules, inadequate sleep and a new baby to make him feel threatened and jealous it's not surprising your SS's behaviour is dreadful. But unless your SO faces up to this and addresses his poor parenting things will only get worse.
This is why I think people
This is why I think people should "date" for at least two years before having kids. This man is a TERRIBLE father to his son. now he is a TERRRIBLE father to your son.