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What? I Can Only be a Parent When you Need Something?

FMSL's picture

Submitted by FMSL on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 1:20pm

So no one complains when I step up to the plate and parent this self-centered SD when she needs something from me...it's ok if I parent her when DH needs me to pick her up, sign her out of school, sign her up for activities, and buy school supplies.

BUT, I can't parent this child when she needs to be told that she is being unreasonable. I can't step up and be a parent when she needs to hear life lessons. I can't talk to her like a parent and explain what consequences are and that things that are worthwhile are difficult. I can't tell her exactly what I told all my bios that the world does not revolve around them and if they want something, they will have to work hard for it.

So on top of every other bullshit thing I put up with around here, now I have to waste my time trying to figure out when I'm allowed to parent and when I'm not. SD can live here fulltime and take from us fulltime but I can only exist part-time??

Comments

Passive Outsider's picture

Submitted by Passive Outsider on Sat, 02/09/2013 - 7:39am

This post made me come out of hiding. I totally feel you FMSL. Is your self-centered SD a pre-teen daddy's queen (worse than a princess) too?

OMGSTEPMOM2's picture

Submitted by OMGSTEPMOM2 on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 6:29pm

It is BS - I can't stand it when DH wants me to talk care of his bratty kids, but you find it hard for me to tell your kid like it is. I don't care. One way or another, your kid will know exactly how I feel.

FMSL's picture

Submitted by FMSL on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 1:32am

OMG this princess won't even SPEAK if I'm in the same room!! There's no way we can have a"normal" family here.

NotMyProblemAnymore's picture

Submitted by NotMyProblemAnymore on Thu, 10/10/2013 - 11:33am

I could of written this post. I think most of us understand exactly how you feel. I had this conversation the other night with DH when he wasn't "happy" that I was letting him do all the parenting, meaning I wasn't doing shit for his princess anymore. He said something about "how only a woman has that instinct to raise a child properly blah blah" :sick:
I kept quiet and thought to myself, why the hell do I only have that "instinct" when SD needs a ride to school or needs helps with homework. Why does my instinct disappear when I'm pissed at her for lying to me for the umteenth time? WHY? LOL
I put him in the hot seat and responded "You know, i'm having a hard time finding a balance. I don't want to be too hard on SD like you think I am sometimes. I want you to tell me what I should and shouldn't do. Help me figure out my role exactly and what's expected of me as a SM."
He had NOTHING more to say, no answers, nada! That brought that conversation to an end quickly. Because in all honesty, they don't have the answers. They just want us to be present 24/7 whenever they or their damn spawn need us for something. And they want us to shut the hell up when they don't like what we're saying. Sorry. I'm not a robot and sure as hell NOT your slave girl! So STFU and raise your own damn kid!
DH still tries here and there to gently tell me how he wants me to be close to SD again, do things with her etc. I just say, "yeah me...one day we will again" and change the topic! }:)
Never gonna happen! I'm done being used!