OMG, so funny!
Just randomly the other night, BD9 asked me why DH and SD's BM did not stay married to each other. I told her that was a question for her dad, so when he walked into the room she asked him. I knew this would come up eventually, but I don't think he thought about it for a second before that moment.
So, DH hemmed and hawed for a few minutes. Sidebar: The real reason they did not stay together is they barely knew each other when she got pregnant accidentally. They did not get married until SD was 6 months old and a blood test confirmed she "could" be his child. They got married quietly and were married for 18 unhappy months. BM filed for divorce, DH began dating someone else immediately (mistake).
DH tried to put together some sort of in-depth response and BD9 was looking at him like he'd sprouted feelers, so I stepped in and said, "Your dad and BM just didn't get along." BD9 was like, "Oh, OK," and went back to her homework.
This still makes me snicker. Some day he'll have to come up with a better explanation. Hope he thinks about it some in advance this time!
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Comments
Why do people always find it
Why do people always find it necessary to lie to children on uncomfortable topics? And why do they always assume they are dumb enough to believe silly things like this. I would bet your daughter was thinking in her head "OH REALLY???". I mean, kids need to be shielded from certain things,sure. But at some point a little bit of reality is okay. I guess maybe its better to have the child draw their own conclusions...
Oh, SD14 asked me this
Oh, SD14 asked me this several times. My response to her was always "that's between your parents, ask them". She'd tell me that mom said she's never going to know and won't "allow" dad to tell her. We were having a poker party at our apt during SD's week with her mom and she begged to come and DH said no, you're with your mom. Within 15 minutes of telling her no, BM is calling DH RAGING and throwing a fit saying "WTF is your girlfriend doing telling our daughter that the divorce was MY fault!" Yeah, little SD didn't get her way so she LIED to BM about me to try and get me in trouble and start shit. That was only once incidence to her lying to cause drama and because she was told NO.
It was finally addressed a year later when SD was 13 and we had a group therapy session. When the therapist asked her what the saddest day in her life was she replied with "when my parents told me they were getting divorced, it shattered my world". She then went on to say "well, I'm ok with their divorce now (NO SHE WAS NOT!!!) because I know that no one cheated". We ALL looked at each other like HUH??????????? BM cheated on DH when SD was 7 with a man she worked with, introduced him to SD and said he was mommy's "special friend" and he spent 3 nights at their home while DH was on a hunting trip with his brother.
DH found out about it, BM confessed and said she made a mistake (multiple times over 3 days) and she wanted to work on things. They went to marriage counseling for 4 yrs and DH stayed because he wanted to try and keep their family intact. He got a vasectomy and finally filed for divorce when she was caught in more lies and he realized he'd never be able to trust her.
So, the therapist asked DH if he wanted to address the comment by SD and she clasped her hands over her ears and started WAILING that she didn't WANT to know why they divorced. He ended up telling her when they had a private moment a couple weeks later at the park. She wailed, cried, screamed and said she hated her mother. Went home to mom, mom lied, now she hated dad for telling her!! Yeah ok, WHATTHEFUCKEVER SD!
Our skids never asked my DH
Our skids never asked my DH that. I wished they would have. He could tell them that their mother scammed the system (and taxpayers) any chance she would get and expected him to just go along with it. That she screwed around on him multiple times and would go around bragging that DH wasn't their father but he was paying CS for them! I guess she didn't realize what a slut that made her sound like.
Just to clarify, it was our
Just to clarify, it was our BD (mine and DH's together) asking why DH didn't stay married to SD's mom. Nothing from SD about why they got divorced. BM got that out of the way up front by getting to SD first when she was 4 and telling her a lie that made BM look good and DH look bad, go figure.
Kids are so weird. My SD12
Kids are so weird. My SD12 asked me how I met her father. She wanted details. When I gave them to her she asked who her dad was with at the lounge the night I met him. I said he was alone. She asked "Who goes to a lounge alone?" I replied "Your father."
LOL... :?
Ha. My own skids have never
Ha. My own skids have never asked this question. They don't have to. Their mother got them together and sat them down and told them that she was leaving DH for another man, then brought them out to meet said man a few weeks later.
My BD's father passed when she was 2 1/2 and I don't think she even remembers that we were divorced before he passed so she'll never ask that question to me.
And BM has come to our house, screaming bloody murder at DH in front of ALL the kids, SD vents about her mom and stepdad to my BD, and if you ask her who (BM's name) is, she responds "My step-sister's crazy mother".
Ah children....