BM called the police on her 5 year old son yesterday.

So I get a text from DH yesterday saying call me while I was at work so I did. Apparently SS(5) had decided yet again that he didn't want to go to school so what does BM do? She calls the cops on her 5 year old while they were at the school.

A little back ground is neccessary here.

It's the third week of school which just happens to fall on BM's week. She goes to drop SS off at his class and he decides that he doesn't want to go and wants to go to work with her and starts to have one of his screaming temper tantrums. BM gets him into the classroom and then closes the door. SS freaks out and starts to attack and kick the door. When he was finally able to make it out of the classroom he chased BM down the hallway. What does BM do? She takes him to work with her.

About three weeks ago BM takes SS into the doctor because he's sick (The kid is always sick when they are with her.) so she ended up dropping SS off late for school. Now this happens to fall on the beginning of DH's week. When she dropped him off he decides that he doesn't want to go to school and starts having another one of his fits. This time BM calls DH and tells him he needs to come down to the school to deal with it because she has to go to work. DH shows up and has to restrain his kicking and screaming child in front of the office. When DH finally lets go of SS he turns around and spits in DH's face. Oh and SS didn't go to school that day either. Dh brought him home.

Monday of this week, DH goes to pick up my BD from school. SS sees him and decides he wants to come home with DH instead of going with BM's friend, who was there to pick him up, to BM's house because it was her week. What does SS do? Has another one of his screaming tantrums. DH ended up having to help BM's friend because SS was trying to chase him out into the parking lot and probably would have gotten hit by a car. So DH picks SS up. Puts him in the SUV. Buckles him up and then closes the door. BM's friend gets in and by that time SS was already out of his seat belt, realized he couldn't get out of the back doors because the safety locks were on and started to attack BM's friend in an effort to try and get out of the dirvers side door. What happened? SS got to come home with DH.

BM shows up later in the day to pick SS up and when DH went back to get him from his room he found that SS had barracaded himself in his room with is toy box. Dh had to push the door open to get in and get to SS. Dh gets SS out of his room and SS makes a break for it and runs out of the sliding glass door, out into the backyard, around the side of the house, and takes off down the street. DH was able to get him to come back, but as soon as he did he bolted back into the house. DH had my BD lock all doors and told her not to let anybody other then him back into the house and that's finally how that one was resolved.

Yesterday, it's still BM's week, SS decides that he doesn't want to go to school. He starts having yet another temper tantrum so what does BM do? She calls the cops on her freaking five year old at school. Apparently when the cop stepped in to try and resolve the situation SS kicked him, punched him, tried to bite him, and spit in his face. To make matters even better we know this cop. He is one of BD's friends father. Great!!!!

By the time I got there SS was sitting in the enrty way to the school. The school councelor, principal, and the cop were still trying to get SS to class but he refused. When I walked in SS was just sitting there looking all sad. As I passed him he looked up at me and gave me this huge, look what I can do smile, and then he remembered he was supposed to be sad so he started to pout again. BM decided she was just going to drop him off at daycare because and I quote, "he's not going to come home with me and get what he wants." Well BM....that would be correct if he hadn't already told you he wanted to go to daycare. So BM takes off with SS. Not more then ten to fifteen minutes later she calls DH because apparently SS has decided he doesn't want to go to daycare and she can't make him do it.

Does anybody else see anything wrong with this picture. How does a five year old have so much power? Who the hell calls the police on their five year old son because they can't get him under control? He's five not sixteen. WTF is going on here?

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wow. have you accepted that

wow. have you accepted that other job yet? is there still time to remove yourself from this insanity?

I have to say, (and I'll

I have to say, (and I'll probably get lambasted for it but don't care) I give BM kudos for calling the police if he has gotten this far out of hand about going to school. Granted, the issue appears to be caused in the greater part by her, but at least she is making an effort to backpedal and TRY to remedy the situation.

I like smiling, smiling is my

I like smiling, smiling is my favorite

I agree it wasn't the worst

I agree it wasn't the worst thing she could have done... however, the police were unable to do anything and now the boy knows (or knew already based on his disrespect to the officer) that the police are meaningless to him.

What do you do with a kid who has absolutely NO respect for any authority? Wow.

That's why I'm posting this

That's why I'm posting this thread. I need some help.

I know. Its just crazy. He

I know. Its just crazy.

He definitely needs therapy and the parents need parenting classes to start. However, that all requires both parents to step up and do the work, and it will be a lot of work and a lot of time - these things don't happen overnight - that is where a lot of these parents seem to fail - they aren't willing to put in the ongoing work.

To disrespect an authority figure like an officer at that age, wow. That is just too much.

The teachers will kick him to a special class in time - if he disrupts the mainstream classroom too much they won't be able to have him in their class - then his education is going to be compromised on top. This is where SS7 is headed right now - his continued disruption of the classroom (not to the degree of your SS5 though) caused the teachers to insist the parents find out what is going on or he will have to be removed - the parents finally took him to a therapist but aren't willing to do the recommendations or use the medications so as a result of doing nothing - not a whole lot changed and they wonder why. Uggg

I don't know about you, but I am always thinking, ok he is 7 but what does this mean for 12, 14, 17? When will too much be too much and where will my line in the sand be crossed to where I have to leave?

The job is open for you - maybe you should take it until things are more under control.

I don't even want to think

I don't even want to think about what this kid will be like at 12, 15, or 17. If BM and DH can't get him under control it's going to be a nightmare.

I told him yesterday because he still thinks of SS as this adorable little three year old that sits in his lap all cuddly wuddly, that SS is no longer a baby anymore. He will be six next month and he is violently attacking police officers and BMs friends. Belive me, adorable went bye bye a long time ago with this kid.

I disagree. This isn't the

I disagree. This isn't the first time that she has gotten the police involved with her kids. She did a similar thing with SD just last year. The problem is she doesn't know how to parent and that's why she has to get the cops involved. She is going to ruin both of her kids.

OMG!!!!!!!! I'm telling you,

OMG!!!!!!!! I'm telling you, this kid is just gonna get worse! Do you HONESTLY see anything different?

I agree with the above poster - take that awesome HUGE job offer and get out of this mess. Really!!!!

Red, At this point I don't

Red,

At this point I don't know what I'm going to do. Things always have to get to this point with SS and SD before anybody steps in to do anything. SD had to start telling DH that she has bad thoughts about stabbing both he and I while we were naked before he would finally take her into get help.

I've told him this for years about SS. The kid is out of control but SS is DH's baby and he wouldn't hear anything about it. Well what do you think now DH? Are you still going to live in denial?

SD had to start telling DH

SD had to start telling DH that she has bad thoughts about stabbing both he and I while we were naked before he would finally take her into get help.

WHAT?!?!?!?! Are you married to this man???? If not...GET OUT... That baggage seems anything BUT safe for you. And if SO isn't going to step up and correct it...OH boy....Just RUN..

Yes, we are married and he

Yes, we are married and he finally did start parenting SD. She's actually gotten a lot better but it took years of us fighting and things getting so out of control before he would finally listen to me.

He's going to continue living

He's going to continue living in denial until someone makes him see reality. Unfortunately, that may not be you...it may be child protective services, a judge, a psychiatrist, someone unbiased to the situation.

Let me ask you this: would your world completely be shattered if you left DH? Think long and hard about that and answer honestly in your head if you don't care to answer here (I totally understand if you don't...it's none of my business anyway). I just want you to think about your current life. Is THIS what you had in mind, truly?

This kid, at 5 years old, has

This kid, at 5 years old, has already learned that if he puts up a big enough fight, he will get what he wants. I can't even imagine what this kid will be like at 16 if he acts like this NOW..DISCIPLINE is for his own good! The world is not going to give him what he wants when he throws a violent fit. BM and Dad should teach him that now by demonstrating it themselves. I'm sure the Pre-K/Kindergarten doesn't want them to leave him there under that state of pyscho..they need to figure out some plan. Obviously his goal is to not go to school. Why doesn't he want to go to school? Does he have any friends there? Does he get picked on? There's gotta be something. If its just the mere fact that he wants to be with BM..then why?? does he have separation anxiety? He needs to see a counselor.

No way in hell would I ever let my 5 y/o run the show that like. I probably would have let my cop friend pretend to arrest my kid after he kicked & spit in the cop's face :jawdrop: . UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!!! OMG!! See what 5 y/o thinks of that!! Right now he has no negative consequences...he just gets what he wants!! Not good... Yeesh...I feel bad for you!!

He doesn't want to go to

He doesn't want to go to school because he doesn't want to. He's not getting picked on. There's no seperation anxiety from BM. The kid has been in fulltime daycare his whole life. He would do the same thing to DH if DH dropped him off. It's a power play. He can do what he wants when he wants while his mother stands there all helpless and he knows it. You should have seen the smile that I got from him when I walked into the school. He was the center of attention and was loving every moment of it.

I couldn't agree more with

I couldn't agree more with you. This isn't the first time that she has done this. She drove SD, 6 at the time, down to the police station because she b!tch slapped her step sister and when BM tried to punish her attacked her. BM called DH to try and have him get SD under control but everytime BM tried to hand SD the phone she would slap it out of her hand. So she drove to the police station and had them try to get her under control.

This kid needs meds. I don't

This kid needs meds. I don't advocate drugs at this age, but he is out of control...He also sounds like he needs a good swat, but then you get accused of child abuse in public. I have swatted mine in the ass at that age for similar temper tantrum. No regrets! Felt bad at the time, but looking back he stopped pulling that crap. He did this in public a few times and one swat when he kept doing it when we got home, did the trick. He had a long melt down in his room and finally fell asleep from the stress. Seriously, he stopped pulling that crap.

At 17 he still does it once in awhile, but now I just threaten the wifi or satellite and he knocks it off...

OMG...Your DH and BM probably

OMG...Your DH and BM probably should not have had kids. This is a 5 year old!!! All I can say is that if got his butt tore up the first time he did this, he would not be doing it now.

I couldn't agree more. But

I couldn't agree more. But you have to understand that BM doesn't know how to parent and SS is DH's baby.

Honestly, someone needs to

Honestly, someone needs to get this child under their thumb, NOW. If he acts up at school, he gets absolutely NO fun time at home or daycare. At daycare he can sit in a corner staring at the wall. At home he can go into a room with absolutely nothing he can tear up or destroy. He can do manual labor (befitting his age). He can do homework to make up for what he is missing at school. Somebody needs to figure out what this kid IS afraid of and administer it immediately. My sister had a child like this (foster). He tried ONE time to hit me when I was correcting his behavior and I got right down in his face, held both wrists firmly (but not mean) and told him in a very stern voice that he would "never ever try to hit me again." He never did. He knew I meant it. This kid did/does respond differently to different people however. With people he knows he can cow, he is pretty bad. But he is almost never bad for me, as he knows I mean business buddy. He has thrown things in class and tried to turn over desks, etc., to avoid his work. Teachers think they can't do anything with him so they let him get away with it, which just fuels the problem. This is going to escalate fast if something doesn't change.

Absolutely right there with

Absolutely right there with you. His behavior has to come to an end NOW and his mom and dad need to be stern with him and let him know they mean business. DAD needs to stop looking at 5 y/o as "his baby" and be the parent. Part of being a parent is disciplining your kid so he doesn't grow up to be a monster.
HE IS 5!!!! My god, I'm scared he's gonna go for a knife and start thrashing it around if he can't get his way! And the part about his sister has me aghast! There is def more to this situation than regular kid tantrums... WOW.

She means that in order to

She means that in order to diagnose a certain illness or condition, tests must be done in a certain order to rule out other illnesses. This is especially true when dealing with mental health. Don't you watch dr Phil?

That's not true Sueu2. We

That's not true Sueu2. We don't deal with this type of behavior at our house unless BM is directly related to it. And i have done things. The reason why we have a list of household rule and punishments on the back of the pantry door is because of me. Does DH follow them? Only when he wants to. I have tried telling him for years that the kid is out of control. He busts my chops if I try to enforce the rules that we agreed to with SS. But DH wouldn't believe me and thought that I just had it out for SS. He's not my child. I can only voice my concern and that's it.

And I agree with you, he has absolutely no respect for adults. DH was actually shocked yesterday that SS spit in the cops face. My response to him was really? He has no respect for you that's why he spit in your face. What makes you think that he would repsect anybody else?

And yes they should have taken his little but to jail, but you have to realize that we live in a carzy kid society where doing something like that would have damaged his precious little mind.

Sueu2, I am not disagreeing

Sueu2,

I am not disagreeing with you. I did get a little defensive you you made it seem like I wasn't doing anything. I think that I am the only one out of all the adults involved that has noticed his complete lack of respect for adults and the fact that he's completely out of control and has tried to do something about it.

And I did tell DH yesterday that the way SS is now is combination of both him and BM's inability to parent. I know that. I've watched DH for with his kids for almost three years now. He is just as much to blame for SS acting like this as BM.

^^^THIS It's also not the

^^^THIS

It's also not the cop's job to parent the kid. I had a friend who just tried that, and was reallllly pissed that he told her that was HER job.

She then started wailing about how she's a single mom and her XH is a vet and how hard it is for her...
What.Ev.Er. Parent your kids and they don't act like this!

Parent your kids and they

Parent your kids and they don't act like this!

_____________________________________________________

Stick,

I think this is the first time ever that I have agreed with you and you are exactly right.

I know it will escalate. DH

I know it will escalate. DH and I have already planned on removing all of SS's toys before he gets home on Monday. He is grounded for the entire week. He will come home from school and put his PJs on, do his home work, and go straight to his room. He gets no movies in bed on Friday and Saturday, no toys, and not treats. He only gets to do books and puzzles. I also think that he should go to bed early everynight. He is going to lose all of his family dollars that he has earned for being good. I'm also trying to convince DH of withholding his attention from him. That's the one thing that will hit him where it hurts. He gets basic yes not answers. No 20 minute cuddle fun time with DH before he goes to bed, it's be a kiss on the forehead and I love you but that's it. If he's doing this to get his way and to get attention fine. He loses everything and doesn't get any attention.

He needs a beating. A good

He needs a beating. A good ole, down home, wooden spoon beating. Then he needs to sit in a chair facing the wall for as long as it takes to calm his crazy ass down. These are the kids that grow to be psycho's and shoot up schools during their lunch period. If my Skids ever told my DH that they were going to stab me in my sleep, I'd never allow those kids in my home again, invest in a good alarm system and install night vision cameras with motion sensors. I'm scared and I'm not even you.

You don't understand this

You don't understand this child. If you put him in the corner he would just walk out of it. If you physically held him there he would probably freak out and attack you. He has been given to much power by both of his parents and now he knows he's got it.

I flat out told DH yesterday that the reason why SS is where he is at is a combined effort between BM and him. It's not all her no matter how much he would like to think so.

And if he gets up and walks

And if he gets up and walks away, you walk his ass right back and sit his ass down. It may take HOURS, but eventually he will tire of being forced into a chair. It won't be easy, but he's 5. Unless he has serious mental issues, you can still get a handle on his shitty behavior.

Are you going to accept the

Are you going to accept the job offer?

If so, why worry about SS? He's DH and BM's problem to figure out.

. If you physically held him

. If you physically held him there he would probably freak out and attack you.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This kind of statement kind of floors me. He is 5 freaking years old. How bad can an attack be? I just could not see a 5 year old coming out on top if he attacked me. KWIM?

You have no clue how hard

You have no clue how hard this kid can hit. DH plays really rough with him. He's always telling me that he's training him to be a cage fighter. Belive me when I tell you that this kid can hit. I've been playing with him before when he was getting ready for bed. I had him craddled in my arms and was rocking him back and forth and he reached and put hands on my throat and started sqeezing. Fortunately for me he can't get his hands all the way around my throat, but he still tried to chock me.

And he has violent tendencies

And he has violent tendencies too huh...I'd hide all the sharp objects if I were you.

This kid needs help and the

This kid needs help and the first thing I personally would do leave his ass having a fit at school, if the school makes me remove him he'll stand in time out all damn day I'll strip his room to a mattress and nothing else and he can stare at the walls. His doing this because it works plain and simple make the reward not fun anymore it might stop. Plus a full eval by a DR. And psych.

Is he having behaviors at

Is he having behaviors at school? Both houses need some behavioral intervention and a psychiatrist and counselor need to get involved. If he is having issues at school, push for a behavior placement so that he can get the support he needs there!

He's fine if he chooses to go

He's fine if he chooses to go to school. No issues with him. The teacher really likes him. He has friends. This only happens when BM is dropping him off for school or if she shows up to pick him up at our home.

It's BM's week so who knows

It's BM's week so who knows how she is planning on handling it. When he returns to our home on Monday his little butt is done for entire week he with us, he's losing all of his toys, movie previlages, music at bedtime, he's going to bed early, loses his family dollars that he earned for being good, all treats are gone (and we're going to have some good ones), and whatever else I can think of. We are also planning on going out and doing super fun things with both SD and BD and leave SS at home grouded with a babysitter.

I dont think he needd meds.

I dont think he needd meds. He needs his parents to step up and be parents. I mean if tge same thing happened eith his sister then its a parenting issue. Meaning they havr no parenting frim either mom or dad.

I call bull shit on how these 2 kids have been allowed to do these things. If these were my kids id be yanking their ass up and spanking then pur them in their rooms with nothing and dared them to get up til i said. Then id be taking them to the police and making them oplogize and makr them say why they are apologizing. Then id take all their toys and keep them for a month! Which i have done to my kids for not cleaning their room.

See the problem is here is that when they start acting like this mom does nothing and tried to get someobe else to do it for her. Then dad says i cant makr him do that. Instead if pareting they pass the buck and the kids kniw that.

You are here

BM called the police on her 5 year old son yesterday.

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