BM's BOXES OF OLD CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
Our circumstances are a little different because I moved to the state where I live now when my sister died suddenly a few years ago and packed just a few suitcases and gave most of my belongings away, so I don't have much. I am also fortunate (?) to have moved in to my fiancees house, where BM left him suddenly one week and all she took was a few suitcases. So....the house I occupy is filled with all her old things. The decor- dishes, everything. Mostly I try not to let it bother me. I have taken a bulk of the family photos down and put up pictures of my daughter, me and my SO, and tried to redecorate even though we have no extra money, I do what I can here and there. Anyways....every holiday this wickedly DEPRESSING thing happens. My lovely fiancee gets out the boxes of HER DECORATIONS THAT SHE LEFT BEHIND AND PROCEEDS TO PUT THEM UP IN THE HOUSE> At first I was not really paying attention and I thought, hmmm, they are somewhat generic I guess its OK> But you know what, this Christmas is our first Christmas and I DON'T WANT HER FREAKING CHRISTMAS DECOR UP! Sometimes there is so much of her stuff here I feel like she is actually here. I think this year I am going to have to put my foot down. His two sons come Friday to Sunday and I KNOW HE IS GOING TO be like "oh we have to make it special and just like it always is for the boys....we always do it like this....THE BOYS ARE GOING TO EXPECT IT TO BE LIKE THIS...THE BOYS THE BOYS THE BOYS...blah blah". He will probably expect to decorate the tree just like they always do every year. We have been dating for three years but this is the first year that I live here and I have a ring on my finger, we are engaged and BM is married to another man, not like that matters, but still.
We were looking at those cool Kitchen Aid colored fancy mixers that cost like $300 and come with all sorts of attachments. I wanted one for Christmas because I love to bake. Well, the other day he was looking through the shelves in the kitchen and pulls out this ancient Oster thing that surely he bought for BM years ago and goes, "here honey, why don't you just use this? I bet it works great?". I was like! WFT! I GET YOUR X WIFES 80's BROKEN DOWN MIXER SHE LEFT? I DON'T THINK SO BUDDY.
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My DH doesn't take it upon
My DH doesn't take it upon himself to do decorating. Somehow (
) the ornaments (the dollar-tree cherubs & angels) they had together were broken in our first year together, so I had no choice but to ditch them. I did it quietly, & in 11 years he's never inquired.
I also have a Kitchen-Aid mixer on my Christmas. It's been there for several years, & I have a feeling it will still be there next year. I've had several mixers & nothing measures up to a Kitchen-Aid.
I had one of those 80s Oster
I had one of those 80s Oster mixers, but now have the Kitchenaid. Well worth it. Is it gold? My mother's was.
Check the prices online (Amazon, Overstock, etc.) as you should be able to get one for less than $300. I got the 6 qt one and it is really almost too big. It is extremely heavy so I have to leave it out - and my kitchen is tiny.
I'm a big baker - desserts and bread. But I really don't need the 6 qt one.
Thanks for this advice. There
Thanks for this advice. There are so many sizes, I am considering the Artisian right now. Costco has some made especially made for them but they got awful reviews.
OMG my first Christmas with
OMG my first Christmas with my DH he pulls a tree box out of the attic and written in huge letters says "DH AND WHOREBAGS XMAS TREE" I was like no way in hell is that tree going up in our living room, get it out of here before I set the freakin thing on fire!!!!! I was so mad it almost ruined my entire christmas. (It was not Bm's name, it was an exgirlfriend of his)
I would trash it all and go to Walmart!
I also moved into "BM's" and
I also moved into "BM's" and DH's house. I mean this lady left EVERY little thing! I absolutely refuse to live in BM's shadow and with her stuff and DH learned that real fast and early on!
DH expected me to use all of BM's stuff and hates when I get rid of anything because "HE paid for it" but I see it as stuff he bought for BM. She left all of her C-mas decorations (along with tons of other stuff) and little by little I have been getting rid of all of it. After nearly 4 years there is very little in OUR house that was hers. Just this week some more stuff went out the door.
I try to be frugal so I found some really nice decorations at a garage sale I bought for OUR tree. So if I was you I would trade off with someone you may know for some new decorations. Better yet if her decorations are red and green tell him you want blue and silver and find some decorations at a thrift shop or from a friend.
The kitchen is pretty much my domain so the very first week I was at OUR house I got rid of most all of BM's kitchen stuff.
BTW, I want that Kitchen Aid mixer too! My daughter has it and LOVES it!
That's the thing- I cannot
That's the thing- I cannot really insist he buy me EVERY SINGLE THING brand new...most things I try really hard to look at neutrally. And I have phased out lots of things (I moved in officially in March)so I gradually buy new things when I can. The biggest issue is that our tastes are totally opposite. She decorated everything COUNTRY, and sorry if people like that I HATE IT- yuck yuck yuck. We have a knobby pine kitchen table that's real and expensive and big and I HATE IT SO MUCH. I like modern things. I spend so much time in the kitchen and the table is soooo ugly. I bet if we sell it on Craigslist we will get barely anything for it but I want a new table so bad.
^^^Funny! Isn't it strange
^^^Funny! Isn't it strange how lovely the sound of breaking glass can be??????
I had that Kitchen Aid mixer
I had that Kitchen Aid mixer and last Christmas MIL stole it from me!! She claims I don't need it and off she went with it!!! DH was horrified too but she's scary and evil so we let her go with it. Wonder what she'll take this year?? Oh then she had the nerve to call me and ask if I had the instruction book and any attachments that go with it!!
WTF??? She just walked right
WTF??? She just walked right out of your house with YOUR mixer???
Well she saw it on my counter
Well she saw it on my counter (BECAUSE I HAD JUST USED IT!!!) and she says to DH oh imjustthemaid doesn't use this and I always wanted one, she won't mind (all while unplugging it and walking away with it) stupid DH just stood there not saying a thing!!
That thing was so freakin expensive!! I was pissed and even more pissed when she was asking for the pieces to it and the instructions!!
I hate this lady so much!
I would not only be pissed at
I would not only be pissed at her for taking it, but at your DH for allowing her! He should've said "WTF are you doing? That's NOT acceptable! Put that back and leave!"
fyi - those "fancy" glass
fyi - those "fancy" glass plates and cups have zero value. When a friend's mother died her horrid SIL thought she was going to make a fortune selling that stuff. She couldn't give it away.
BM left all her crap behind
BM left all her crap behind too. She gutted the place but left all her crap like this was a storage unit. Then she has the balls to call SO and tell him to bring her all of her fall decorations. We just so happened to be getting all of her stuff out and pitching it in the dumpster. SO didn't reply so BM sent SD20 to pick it up. SO loaded her truck up,with everything he could squeeze in and threw the rest away. BM lost her mind lmao. She called bitching that she only wanted the fall stuff the rest of her stuff was staying there until she decided to get it. He ignored her and she sent about 30 messages in the next few hours threatening to have him arrested for messing with her stuff. It was hilarious. I got my house cleaned out of all of her crap and got some comic relief out of it too }:)
I'm sure that he would be
I'm sure that he would be arrested for returning her things to her. Riiiight.
I totally understand not
I totally understand not wanting to put out her decorations. Anything of BM's bothers me. Even picture frames. Mostly because she has hideous taste (think bad 80's cheap shit), but also because I cringe thinking that she touched it. DH and BM were never married, and only lived together for a few months, so thankfully there was very little for me to weed out. The couch and mattress were the first to go when we decided to co-habitate. Not a chance on Earth would I ever lay down on a mattress with some woman's (especially BM's) monthly stains on it. Disgusting.beyond.words.
Christmas decorations carry a lot of sentimental value to me, especially since my mom died. Putting out things that remind me of my mom at Christmas makes me feel like she is there in spirit. I would be sick looking at any decorations of BM's, and would probably give them to SD or Salvation Army if I came across any. But NO WAY would they be going up in our house.
Btw, I got the KitchenAid Artisan mixer for Christmas about eight years ago. It is absolutely the most useful item in my kitchen (although my Vita-Mix blender is also up there), and I would get rid of my pots and pans before letting my mixer go!
Hopefully your DH sells BM's Christmas crap to get you the mixer!!
Thanks for all the nice
Thanks for all the nice responses. I am glad I am not the only one living in a "hand me down" house. If we could afford it I would replace everything. BM got really lucky that he (SO) gave her half the equity of this house in cash...and her parents bought her a house of her very own and at the time she was getting $2500 a month spousal so could re-decorate on up! Must be nice....meanwhile she leaves boxes and piles of years worth of toys and crap here from all the useless things she bought over the years for the three step idiots. We throw stuff away monthly and there's still crap everywhere. He bought them every single useless thing they ever barked for.
Well, I am in charge of gifts, so i will buy myself the Kitchen Aid. Ha Ha!
This convo got me pricing the
This convo got me pricing the mixers.
It looks like Target has some decent sales on them. They're pricing cheaper than Walmart, JCPenney, & Bed Bath & Beyond.
This makes me mad for you!
This makes me mad for you! Why would he think it's ok to a. keep her stuff and b. still use it! Throw it all away yourself, he'll get the hint!