You are here

Long overdue

Merry's picture

Apologies are hard.

DH apologized to me for all the years we went to Skidville for the holidays. We fought about it every year. I wouldn't have minded as much if they came to our house once in awhile. Last year was likely the last trip and even then I didn't have to see either skid.

I still carry anger about it. I should have refused when he could still travel by himself. But I accepted his apology and didn't dredge up the residual hurt. And I appreciate his acknowledging that he never once spent Christmas with my family, never saw my traditions.

And now his parents and siblings are all gone and one kid isn't speaking to him so he's not experiencing his own traditions either. Boy, was he mopey yesterday.

No call from SS, which surprised me. SD DID call, but it was during dinner and his phone was miraculously not at the table. But she left a message berating him for not waiting on pins and needles for her call. The girl is not normal.

Supposedly SS is driving to SD's house today and they will call DH when they are together. I think I will need an emergency trip to the liquor store if that actually happens.

 

Comments

la_dulce_vida's picture

I'm so sorry for all you've had to endure with these people, and I hope and pray that you will be able to spend more time with your family going forward.

thinkthrice's picture

The apology was sincere. 

Merry's picture

I believe it was. Came out of the blue with enough detail that I think he'd thought pretty deeply about it.

He's really hurting and while I feel badly for him, there's nothing I can do. I'm not going to wallow in the mud with him.

JRI's picture

I think you said your DH was ill this year.  You'd think that would make his kids more solicitous of him at this time of year, may not be a lot of Christmases left with him.

At least, he apologized, that's something.

 

Merry's picture

You have a good memory! He was very ill and I thought we might lose him. But he's made a great recovery. Even his memory issues have improved.

I truly believe that he will never be able to repair the relationship with SD. By his own admission, she has never apologized to anyone for anything. She is always Right. And yet, she'll be the one bawling the loudest at his funeral.

Merry's picture

Neither skid called DH today. Who is shocked? Anyone? Anybody out there?

I haven't mentioned it. He hasn't started with the excuses yet.

Harry's picture

When he married you, he made a commitment to be your husband and you come first not his kids.  Christmas was to be spent with you.  He should invite his kids to his house . Along with the family , or work out one year here next year there type of thing.[most family work out something ]  Not leaving you and go to stepkidville every year with the ex wife.

Something's  you just can't apologize for. It wasn't a onetime event. He knew you didn't want him to go and he did it anyway.  Now that he can't go because he has no place to stay. He's sorry. ??   
'After hurting you for years. A sorry doesn't cut it 

Merry's picture

No, the ex wife was never part of the trip.

I do accept his apology. He can't make it right and there is no do-over. I believe his sincerity. He is well aware that we both went through hell just to be rejected in the end.