Not much into the holiday spirit this year.  Both kids are adults now and their wants are more activities than gifts.  BD18 and I are getting some more tattoos done and have a few trips planned for next year that are part of our presents.  DH and I are living in a vacuum of nothingness since I stopped actively working on a marriage, he never participated in.  You can tell he’s confused and waiting for me to re-engage so he can, guess he’s going to be waiting until the next side of never.  I have no clue what Spawn is us to nor do I care, just glad she will never be a presence in my life again.

Here's my novella. Where to begin...

I'm ready for December 29th. Our annual NYE party is now dinner on the 28th because our hosts bought a new house and are not settled in. IMO, this is a win/win because: no mega house cleaning or decorating or buying party frills for the hosts, no fretting about what to bring for the guests, no one has to worry about arriving too late or leaving too early or when the heck will they just leave?! So dinner for 2-3 hours = YAY!!!

My nerves are frayed. Everyone wants a piece of me and I want to crawl into a cave and hibernate. What IS it with those who think getting together once a month is suddenly a need?? SEVEN people are chomping at the bit to pin me down for monthly hangouts. Is it because we're getting older and mortality is a concern? Sure, my sparkling wit and conversation skills make for a fun time, but those "performances" mentally exhaust me. Step on the virtual stage seven times a month??? Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. I'd rather kick a sleeping bear.

I still have Christmas packages to wrap and mail (gift wrapping is a time suck!), finalize the grocery list for what I'm making for 3 - count 'em, 3! - different gatherings. Also, plan my cooking time around work and two medical appointments (no rest for the wicked...). I'm sending 3 Christmas cards this year. That's it.

I was careless last week and slipped and twisted my knee. This is hindering me in too many things AND it aches at night so I'm not sleeping well (add physically pooped to that mental exhaustion).

Let's not forget about family drama! Not step family; blood relatives. This has been going on for over a year. A couple of things have improved, but others have deteriorated. I'd like to divorce all of my siblings and their offspring.

As for DH? He's been a rock. I had a mini meltdown last night, was crying while rearranging the cheese drawer in the refrigerator (most use them for veggies...), and he got down on the floor to hold and kiss me, saying, "It'll be okay, baby. I've got you." Lord, I love this man. <3

Thanks for posting this. Hope all is well with you! *give_rose*

It's almost Christmas aka grifting grifters who grift day.   

Quiet here. This is the first year DH sent out Christmas cards (with checks) to skids and did not ask me to sign the cards. (Finally got it through his head.) I've enjoyed BM insisting on having skids with HER nearly every holiday since the beginning of time. Works out well since the little bastids aren't allowed here any longer.

I've had fun shopping for DH and people in MY family (including our dog), and we're doing a holiday run of delivering gifts either this weekend or next. 

It'll be a very quiet Christmas here this year. Just the way we like it. 

You must answer the big question.  In the end. After your death . Where is your money going ?   Personally. I don't want the state of New York to get it.  It will pay for a politician new helicopter. Or part of it.  charities  ?  Hard to find one that on the up and up. Money given to the catholic Church, For World Trade Center fund went to pay off child Molesting payments.  The. Red Cross saved the money. 
'SO SK are going to get it in the end anyway.  

Thanks for asking! I'm quietly waiting for the drama. SO's family knows about SD25's pregnancy by her abuser and maybe trafficker (i'll explain more below.) His sisters are determined to throw a baby shower. I'll be working at my new job on that day (it's at lunch time on a week day) so won't be able to attend, so I won't have to try to fake "YAY!! A BAY-BEE!" Supposedly SD is driving down for the day (it's a one-hour drive from where she lives), as nobody wants to admit they don't trust her to sleep at their house and not steal them blind. 

The latest is that SO heard from one of the shower-throwers that her daughter told her SO's other daughter (SD28) told HER that SD25's photos and some explicit videos are on a porn site. They were sold to the site by SD25's baby daddy when they were "on a break." Meaning he did it without asking SD25. But shortly afterward, SD got back together with him and within a few months, was pregnant. SO's sisters are like so excited for the shower and wondering "Oooh do you think we'll get to meet the father?!" WTF. In my family if a guy did that and also physically abused one of us, he shows his face and he gets the police called or his a$$ kicked, depending on who's around. 

As far as dealing with the Christmas season, I feel like I am doing OK considering its an emotionally charged time just like it is for just about anyone for their own reasons. It has been for me even without any steplife issues coming into play, so with that being said I am still keeping any step and inlaw , etc related drama at bay from me as much as I can avoid it. I hope it ends up working out that way. Just praying that any pressures from SD30 or anyone to revolve my holiday ( and it is mine too) plans around making her the priority. Its not going to happen.( tried as she might) .it didnt last year so definitely not ever from  here on out. 

I am doing that by just focusing on whatever  traditions and rituations bring me any joy or comfort,,just trying to keep busy with that and my own plans for Christmas with my side of the family. . This year, I am just going to let go of any control with the DH family stuff and let the chips fall wherever they may.  Not so diffferent than any other time of the year.

We won't see the grifters this year. DH and I did talk about gifts for them but so far he's done nothing about it. Oh well. I have no idea if he intends to give anything to SD--their state of communication changes by the day and I don't want to know. My daughter asked me to help with an unexpected major vet bill, so her gift is done except for the small things to open.

So, quiet here. I'm good with that. I am baking cookies and that brings me joy (and fat thighs).

Surprisingly, SD63 hasn't yet called with her sobbing about not having money for gifts for her kids and gkids but there are still 2 weeks to go.  Whatever.  We will give her most of her Christmas money, like usual.  Or, maybe, since she's on the outs with 2 of her kids and 2 of the gkids, perhaps she doesn't plan to give them anything.  I just hope she doesn't try to have a Christmas event 

I'm having a good holiday so far.  My birthday is next week so I booked 2 nights at the casino and my host is comping a massage.  Life is good!

My DD will probably have a low-key thing Christmas Day since her son and new wife will be in town and I (not sure about DH) will stop by after seeing Mom.  My DS will probably be there, too, or might stop by our house after seeing his MIL.  He leaves for Florida for the winter the next day and is chopping at the bit to go there.

I hate that any of us has the obligatory feeling but, oh well, it's the holidays.

Happy holidays and/or condolences. This thread is reminding me that the holidays is high tension and stress, along with the merry cheer. I'm advocating for just giving cash to the kids and my nephews this year. I think the young ones in my family prefer it anyway, and it saves me the trouble of shopping for gifts that I've never seen SS use/wear/hold on to again after Xmas. But I can handle giving him gifts (all monetary these days) on Xmas and birthdays. Meeting basic obligations frees up my conscience to make needed choices to preserve my sanity in other situations.

Every year though at both Thanksgiving and Xmas, SS gets angsty because he really wishes he had a larger extended family, and neither his dad or mom have many they keep in touch with. My DH has a brother who lives outside this country, and never visits. I think his mom has half siblings and adoptive siblings, but they aren't really in the picture. I do think the BM keeps in touch with a half sister who lives a state away, but SS decided he hates her and even calls her "that slut" to his dad. Isn't that horrible? That's his aunt that he's reffering to. It tells me that he's seriously lacking in common decency and respect, and it makes me think he talks the same way about me out of ear shot. It adds to my discomfort at being around SS. Sadly, my dh doesn't correct him.

In any case, I have a nice extended family, and in another multiverse, maybe SS could have been a part of that, but it just wouldn't have worked with him treating me with hostility all the rest of the year. The first Thanksgiving my family and all spent time together was when SS was 15, I remember that SS sat observing my interactions with my big and little nephews. They were helping out and chatting with me, and I could see that SS was envious. I hear SS say 'tell me what I can do to help.' He has never said that before nor since. I felt bad, but I was actually annoyed to hear that. For months and months, he treated me very disrespectfully, and trashed me to DH hatefully and often when I wasn't around. His asking to help was just a temporary hiccup to feel a part of something for the moment, more driven by his need to fill a void than a genuine desire to help. I gave him a small task to do, and otherwise did not engage SS much.

Now SS tells everyone that I don't accept him and never have. That he did regular teenage antics in the past, but nothing ever to justify my mistreatment and exclusion of him. If you've read any posts of mine, I am totally guilt ridden, so that works on me more than I would like. But this process is such a good thing for me - I'm learning to let go of my guilt and need to please. He can trash me all he wants.

SS was not with us this Thanksgiving. Xmas will be harder because it's just me, dh, SS and my BS will be there for a few hours (the rest will be with his dad). On Xmas, there is this external expectation that we have a special time with our beloved family members. There is no escape, and there isn't even any stores or theaters open. But that is far from how I feel towards SS and vice-versa, and it feels yucky to try and conjure up feelings that aren't really there. I'm begging my sister to join us for Xmas. She's on her own while her kids go with their dad. She asked me if SS is going to be there, and when I said 'yes', she declined. Yes, she does know him.

I apologize for the long post. I guess I needed to exorcise the ghost of Xmas past.

I am expecting this to be a step-free holiday. It is a load off to have them out of the area. They were just lingering here for so long over the summer, fall, and into Thanksgiving. I am at wit's end with it. I think DH is pretty clear on my lack of patience for the whole situation, as I told OSD28 off about her touching my stuff without asking me, the last time she was here.

Poopsies isn't used to being corrected so she went off into the yard to wail about it ... and I mean literally WAIL. It was the type of crying I might do if I just found out my entire family had died in a car crash or something equally horrific. Not to minimize people who have suffered actual tramatic loss. This child-woman was told not to touch my things and her response was to have a complete melt down. Lol

She is getting slightly more sophisticated in that she came back inside to tell me in a sarcastic tone that "I should have thanked you." (For telling her the obvious?) And then she went into full on poor me pity party story about how it's just so hard to be in this house because she has memories here from childhood and now everything is so different. blah blah blah ... Yeah Byatch, it's different. Now it's clean, organized and we remodeled the entire house, unlike years ago when filthy, hoarder BM failed to keep house here. Did I mention I don't care for my SD? Lol

Her "story" doesn't make me feel sorry for her. Her life hasn't been any more difficult than anyone else's. In fact, it's been pretty damn easy. I came into her life when she was a teen. I saw how well she was treated and how many advantages she had. She not only had her needs met but many of her wants as well. She's ungrateful and entitled like her BM.

Anywho ... It will just be me, DH, and my adult BK's that are still living in the area here for Christmas. I am so looking forward to relaxing and enjoying a stress free holiday.

Yesterday I wrapped up a big box of house warming gifts for my oldest BK24 that just got his first real job and 1st apartment. My youngest BK19 asked to bring her boyfriend home for the first time for dinner. I made a big dinner and we got to meet him. I REALLY liked him and I liked how happy my daughter is around him. I am just so thrilled for both of them. They have all kinds of big plans to travel and live their best lives. I wish I had done that when I was 19 instead of meeting and marrying my azzhole ex husband.

Christmas will be simple this year. I am mostly just doing gift cards and a few gifts for the younger kids in the family. I got a few things for DH that I know he'll like. He won't buy for himself so it's fun to buy for him.

Before thanksgiving I had a few health issues crop up - one being an old crown that had cracked. Pain, suffering and no eating ensued. After visiting a Dr in my "network", and then wanting a second opinion about that tooth, Ive now found my dentist for all things in the future, and have a new crown on the way. Its a process not a procedure. The other issue required another medical visit with a nurse, some perscribed medicines and now Im good for now there. 

A third ongoing issue is I have rosacea. So, just picked up some Brimonidine and am going to cross fingers, hope for the best. The best would be laser or light therapy, but thats a few dollars out of reach for now. Ive not ever tried medications, but Im getting really tired of people say Ive gotten too much sun, eh? And the makeup not really covering it up.

Christmas-shishmas. My decked out house from last year will not happen, and Im trying to get the energy to make the ceramic village, snowman and nutcrackers and mantle happen, if not the trees because puppy has been destructive. Ive missed many (if not all) "events", but did make a local lighted boat parade. Each town in our collected gathering has their own tree lighting (missed 5). This Friday, DH has a nice work party, with white elephant, and December 25, we will attend DH's large family gathering with white elephant. I am going to give very few presents this year, just because finances are tight and health costs are taking a big bite. Luckily Feral Forger 

The weather has been spectacular - clear and cold in the AM, then up to 70 in the afternoon, getting cold at night. Guess what decided to just not work? The furnace. So electric space heaters, sweaters, and blankets a plenty.

In spite of all the challenges and FOMO, Im still feeling very grateful. This Christmas Santa is bringing this queen a new crown.

I enjoyed reading what everybody is up to! 

I am a bit out of sorts. We are in the middle of the kitchen renovation, so things are packed away. I keep seeing recipes for holiday cheesecakes that I would like to make...until I remember that the pan is packed away. Yes, I could buy another pan, but then I would have 2 and that seems wasteful.

We were planning to take a picture of the 2 of us with our Christmas tree to send with cards, but no tree! Way too busy with the remodel. Plus work is 'a lot' right now.  So, no tree and no cards. I am feeling rather grinchy...and I don't like it!

The only thing I am looking forward to is spending time with my son and his SO on Christmas day. My daughter was just home, so she will not be back for this holiday.

Dreading anything to do with the in-laws....

Did I mention I feel like the Grinch?