Holy crap. It sounds like the ballgame is just the tip of the iceberg. This shit here is above my pay grade. Damn. No, you aren't wrong to be upset. Anyone would be. But being honest about your feelings with your husband or MIL is clearly not the way to go. It sounds like they know you are unhappy and they don't care. You will need allies who do care. I hope you have a therapist with no ties to your husband, his mother, or his ex. Also, telling people you are on the spectrum will not help you. Not that it means anything bad about who you are as a person or a parent but it sounds like exactly the kind of thing a narcissist would use against you. And not that you should lie about it but just don't emphasize it. My ex was that way. Showing any sign of weakness was like chumming the water for sharks. Acting calm, composed, and in control at all times is what you have to do around this type. Damn. I'm so sorry you are tangled up with these monsters. 

Do not renew your contract, the day school ends, take your kid and move out of state then file for divorce.  Start looking for a role for next school year now somewhere you can be far enough away that only LD visitation is possible.  See if you can get legal support via the teacher's union.

Start with an RO/PO since he has apparently assaulted you.  Get him out of the house, and keep him away from you. Due to his history of violence I would also go for supervised visitation for him until you can GTF out of there.

This is such a toxic environment for you that it cannot possibly be healthy for your child.

You need to get "smart" here. Go silent and I'd even say, act/say you accept what is and realize you were "wrong." Play the game...all the while getting your ducks in a row. If you have any evidence from past physical abuse, get that immortalized asap. Look for an attorney outside your DHs area....make sure it's a good one and let him/her know who your DH is. Together, you and your attorney can begin your much needed escape. 

You are in a very toxic situation....you need help being on the Spectrum....please begin your search all the while not giving any clues to what you are doing. Again...play the game ONLY to get yourself out of this mess. Best to you.

This is such a difficult situation and I'm sorry for you having to deal with it.

I agree with everyone else, if you want to leave then you need to plan and prepare secretly. Let your husband believe everything is fine. Don't tell anyone you aren't absolutely certain you can trust. Find an attorney he doesn't have a connection with and find out what you're entitled to as far as dividing assets, etc. Save whatever money you can without him knowing (getting cash back when you use a debit card is a good way to do it if he doesn't check receipts). 

If ex wife is actually bipolar. Then that's a good reason he not with her.  Still will go to bed with her but can't live with her.  
Gaving her kid on his team is not right for your marriage,  No SO would want this contract with a ex.  And this kind of stuff should of been worked out before marriage.   All this relationship things [ ex Gf. Ex Gf kid. Your ex's  ] should been addressed before you two got married.  
My was she was not to have no unnecessary contact with her ex.  If he wanted to see his kids he was to go to court and get visitation.  Showing up not drunk and able to pass a DWI  driving test .  and something about paying CS.   It's wasn't going to be like the blue bloods. No Sunday dinner with the ex. 
If she didn't agree to this.  No one was holding a gun to her head, she didn't have to. I would not be there.   She tried the visited him for the kids to spend time with there father thing. I just didn't buy it.  And did not want to play that games . 
 

If ex wife is actually bipolar. Then that's a good reason he not with her.  Still will go to bed with her but can't live with her.  
Gaving her kid on his team is not right for your marriage,  No SO would want this contract with a ex.  And this kind of stuff should of been worked out before marriage.   All this relationship things [ ex Gf. Ex Gf kid. Your ex's  ] should been addressed before you two got married.  
My was she was not to have no unnecessary contact with her ex.  If he wanted to see his kids he was to go to court and get visitation.  Showing up not drunk and able to pass a DWI  driving test .  and something about paying CS.   It's wasn't going to be like the blue bloods. No Sunday dinner with the ex. 
If she didn't agree to this.  No one was holding a gun to her head, she didn't have to. I would not be there.   She tried the visited him for the kids to spend time with there father thing. I just didn't buy it.  And did not want to play that games . 
 

Divorcing a partner who is from a locally affluent and influential family is a very precarious thing. However, I have found that while they tend to take a dominant and intimidating position in the process, they are very vulnerable to threats to their standing, status,  and the community perception of them.

So, get all the support you can, get every legally available consequence applied to them. RO/POs, cease and decist orders, emergency support orders, and go for their throats. The one most commited to the destruction of the opposition invariably wins.  Though only if the quality side commits to a MAD model (Mutually Assured Destruction) and stays the course no matter what, no matter how long it takes, and no matter how much it costs.

My XFIL was on the city council, my XMIL was very visible in business, social organizations, and religious organizations.  My adantage was that I had my XW by the short and curlies with the facts that she would rather die than have her family and the community find out about  regarding her serially adulterous whoring around, cheating through University, etc...

XMIL convinced my XW to abandon the settlement XW had proposed aand we had agreed to, and to go with the business law firm that XMIL engaged for the company she worked for.  That lasted only for a couple of weeks and ended when I told her that either she returned to the original agreement, that she proposed, or I would make sure everything about the marriage became public record and I would get it out to qher family and the community whether the Judge sealed the hearing and divorce decree or not.  Then I attended a legal conference with XW and her new attorney and gave them notarized copies of her diary entries with a number of her adulterous Johnson riding activties and notarized copies of every University paper she turned in over 3 years.  The rough drafts that were written in my handwriting and the final graded submittals.   The lawyer my XMIL vectored XW to was also also an Adjunct Professor at the Law School for the Uiversity that confered her BSN.  He fired her on the spot as his two jobs made representing her a conflict of interest  due to her academic fraud and had the papers gone to the University as I promised they would if she did not return to her prior proposed settlement he would have potentially been in a very difficult position.

She went back to our agreed uncontested single attorney divorce using the settlement proposal she had presented to me when she informed me she wanted a divorce.  My XMIL was baffled by her choice and asked me about why she chose to not stay with the business attorney.  Of course XW did not tell her the truth.  She did not tell her parents anything and got irate when my parents went to dinner with my XILs and told them we were divorcing.  

The same model worked well when dealing with the SpermGrandHag's attempt to take custody of SS. Though not affluent or influential outside of their fringe Christian cult, they did have some contacts in the Judicial and Legal communtiy in DW's small town.  SpermGrandHag was the maid for several law offices, lawyers, Judges offices,  and their homes and vacation homes.  

We countered that wilth zero tolerance of any bullshit from her or the Judges she knew.  When the Judge issued the ruling confirming full physical and legal for my DW, after he granted an income reduction credit to the SpermIdiot based on "Step Dad's high income should not punish BioDad to provide an artificually elevated standard of living for the child."  My income at that was not high in the least except compared to the SpermClan.  The Hag and her cheating  idiot DH SpermGrandPa had been trying to bury my FDW financially for a year.to intimidate her into surrendering custody of SS to them  When  the robed idiot closed his ruling, after shredding the SpermIdiot, with "Any child would be blessed to have the love and support of this fine family." I placed a full page add in the local paper summarizing the Judges ruling  to force a 2yo into visitation with a repeat offender (listing the rap sheet of the SpermIdiot) and bold printing the question "Do you really want this Judge repeatedly ruling in a manner clearly not in a child' sbest interest?"  TSomeone from the paper called the Judge about the add that I had placed and paid for. His robed moron-ness called our attorney to pressure us to drop the add. Our attorney begged me to pull the add before it ran because it would destroy her relationships in the local legal and public comminity.  The CO rulling was done, our case was closed.  After that, the Judges in that county were very wary of hearing anything related to our case. Fortunately the outcome of the hearing and us engaging a Pit Bull attorney made the SpermClan very compliant when we ripped out their throats in response to any toxic crap they pulled.  The custody hearing also significantly moved the SpermClan firmly into the Typhoid Mary column socially, legally, and in their fringe Christian cult world of SpermLand.

Yes, we had a strong economic advantage, we had the insurmountable advantage of established full physical and legal custody from SS's birth and for two years prior to that hearing, we had the clear advantage of not giving an F about who suffered by opposing us, and we had the clear advantage of not having any criminal history at all for either of us  or anyone in my IL clan, whiie the SpermIdiot had a clear history of serial statutory rape, gun violation arrests, gangbanger wannabe arrests, SpermGrandPa had a number of lady friends in the community, etc.....  As the addage goes. People in glass houses should not throw stones. They threw the stone of going for custody and they paid with the collapse of their glass house.

I would go down in flames just to make sure the other side in this type of situation did not win and to protect the best interestsof the quality side and of the kid(s)..

But, maybe that is just me.

Not to the extent that occurred in DW's office bldg this summer where the father/grandpa/lawyer for his lawyer son and his DW brought a gun to a deposition and shot his XDIL and her new DH during the meeting. His son was not present though the shooters wife was. She was being deposed as part of a lawsuit filed by the shooter's XDIL regarding custody of the shooter's GKs.  The shooter took out his XDIL and her attorney new  DH then himself.  The shooter  had inoperable terminal brain cancer. No follow up indications that anyone in the family knew of his plans. including his own wife and his also attorney son who is the father of the GKs where were the subject of the XDIL and Son's legal battle.  The XDIL and the shooter's son had 2 of 3  kids together and the XDIL and her serially wedded high number breeding new DW had an infant.  The deceased new DH was on I believe marriage #4 and had half a dozen or so kids from an infant. to late teen or young adult aged. 

This stuff can get crazy. Even when nearly everyone in the mix holds a JD and is supposedly a rational, Doctoral degreed, intellgent, person of quality.  For some reason, attorneys seem to have a notable risk of being dirtbags.  Fortunately, that category of attorneys does not appear to include all of them.

I don't know how large your area is.. but it may be unavoidable for your child and hers to be kept apart.. being on the same sports team.. for example, may not be controllable.. and if they go to school together, it would probably be a bigger issue to try to keep them apart.. and kids shouldn't bear the stigmas of their parent's relationships.

So, the kids being on the same team... in itself may not be controllable.. or a problem per se.

BUT.. you have a husband who lies to you about spending time with his EX.. that is the issue you need to be unpacking.. did he volunteer knowing her child would be on the team.. giving him time to be with HER? I don't know.. only he knows his motivation.

What I do know is that you trying to get his mother involved in this issue will in no way go well... she is not your ally here.

I do agree with not putting adult conflicts on the kid's heads.. if your child and hers want to play on the team.. it should be something that can be navigated civillly by the adults.

A very critical detail to consider.

Though your idiot DH is a manipulative, gaslhighting, POS. 

Save yourself and your child and GTF out of there.