Our BM was, at one time, the Mama Bear type to her 3 kids.  We had them on weekends and whenever school was out. In the summer, they were here from Thursday night will Tuesday night. The boys had karate classes on Tuesday and Thursday near BMs home which is why they were there then.

After 4 years, the kids began to move in, one at a time, over a 9-month period, first OSS then 13, SD then 15 and YSS then 9.  After that, I dont recall one time when she took all 3.  They were free to see her and she was free to see them but it just didnt happen.  They sometimes called her, or actually, SD would call her.  During these calls, OSS would hover around but the call usually ended without him being able to speak to her.   I take it back, she did take all 3 one time when we took a vacation but when we returned, there was OSS who she'd brought back early.

After some discipline issues here, SD flounced back to BM.  She had dreams of living with BM in a singles community, being glamorous girlfriends by the pool.  That lasted a few months til issues with BM"s boyfriend, later husband who the kids hated, sent her back here.

Flash forward and BM married her boyfriend, Clueless.  They had a volatile relationship and moved to a trailer.  The kids were growing up and I think they visited occasionally.  When SD was separated from her first DH, she and her baby moved in there but came here after some discord. She and the baby were here til she snagged DH#2.

BM and Clueless eventually bought a nice house and she hosted lavish, if volatile, holiday meals.  I recently learned that during this period, YSS, then a late teen, asked to move in.  She and Clueless refused, based on YSS's occasional marijuana use which Clueless felt might jeopardize his position as a councilman in his town.

I never understood the whole dynamic.  I could not have let my DS and DD go, no matter what.

Be glad your BM is at least doing EOW or monthly visitation.  We never got a break.

Deadbeat parents are just an abomination 

And what I can't comprehend is these people who are sh*t parents are the main ones selfishly procreating (thus more lives to ruin) multiple times like it's their last day on earth

I would be wary of the position that going forward SD does not have to see her BM unless SD wants to.  If SD is a minor, she has no choice. 

Reality is that the NCP with a COd visitation order can decline a visitation but ... the kid goes when the NCP takes their COd visitation.

We never denied my SS his visitation time with his SpermClan.  They declined many visitations. The worst being 3 periods of a year of more due to some bullshit excuse or other.

Once SS aged out from under the CO, he never returned to SpermLand. Once they were not on the hook to pay CS, their interest in SS ended.  They had shown him who they are and he wrote them off wanting nothing to do with any of them. Not his BioDad (the Spermidiot), not SpermGrandHag, and not his 3 younger half sibs.

He knows who his real family is and it is not the SpermClan.  Much like your SD knows that her BM is not her real family and does not earn that place in SD's life.

Do not get your side of the blended family equation in trouble by failing to deliver the SKid per the COd visitation schedule.  The NCP does not have to take their visitation but the CP household cannot deny the NCP their COd visitation. The minor kid, has no say and has no choice in the matter.  The courts will nearly always back the NCP if legal action is initiated and the NCP claims that they were denied their visitation with their kid.  Whether the kid refuses to go or not, the CP has the duty to make that kid available to tne NCP when the NCP takes their scheduled time with the kid.  When the NCP refuses, the CP is on the hook for care of that kid.  Basically, that is what the CP is paid to do by the NCP when the NCP pays CS. 

Not a pleasant perspective, but... that tends to be reality.  The NCP has no legal obligation to visit with their kid even under a COd visitation schedule. The CP is obligated to care for that kid. If I were an NCP, I would be very aware that I paid my X to care for my kids and I would make damned sure my X did that. I would also be very aware that if I chose not to take a visitation, that is entirely my choice.

BF was a alcoholic, his child support total was $35. For his life.  Didn't care if his kids has a bed . Food, clothing ect.  The kids didn't asked to be in that position. Wasent there fault.  I believe that you get judge in life somehow.  Bad people get cancer  good people live long good life's.  What ever that means.  I am not upset with raising my SD'S.   

'EXCEPT for the middle one who will not talk to me.  No matter how bad she feels her life was. It was better with me . I guest if Jeff Bezos was her SF thing would be better. Actually if Jeff Bezos was my SF things would be different.  Once again I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do.   In the end money is money it comes it goes. And someone or thing gets all of it after your gone 

You can't force her mom to exercise visitation.. Unless the child is in danger, the child should go if mom wants to exercise a visitation.  It's not your job to beg BM to be involved though.