Needing to vent

Nothing new. Just very anxious. Of course all week it has been the usual. DH spends about 30-60 min with our almost 2 year old and that's about it. If you want to call it "spending time" it's her and I playing and he is sitting on the floor or couch next to us on his phone. I've started taking pictures of this, not sure if it counts as documentation or proof if I end up in court one day. Today, he goes out with his friend to golf for the morning. My daughter and I go to church. We then get home and he had went to the gym. She goes down for a nap and he goes to do other things for 3 hours. Then gets home at 5:30 because other daughter is getting dropped off by 6:30. He then is with her the entire night. She is always sitting on him and hanging all over him. While I'm over playing with our daughter. Then he wants to act like a dad and play with her and other kid. Then at bedtime he never rocks or tells her a story, all the sudden he sits in her rocking chair and SD9 sits on his lap for a story and my daughter of course wants to join. He then says for me to take a picture...of course so he can post to make him look good right? Maybe I'm just being too irritable with it and overthinking it. I'm really starting to hate my S/O. His daughter and him act more like they're married than him and I do. At this point I am weirded out by their relationship that it's a total turn off.

UGH.

if divorce wasn't so expensive and I didn't worry about getting fought for custody then I would have been gone a year ago. This is the most unusual relationship I have seen. I could be a step parent, but I don't want to be in this situation any longer.

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Damn, i'm so sorry you are

Damn, i'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he likes getting attention and accolades on social media (there are so many people who feed into it with "Wow, you are such an amazing dad!". I wonder if you could snap a pic of him and SD looking especially icky and send it to him to post. Without letting on that it looks gross. If he posts it, screenshot it as evidence.

He won’t

He won't. He just likes to look really good on social media. He also lectured me cause I only post of my daughter and not him and his other daughter. When SD was 7 and I was at a wedding with my sister, he sent me a video thinking it was cute and funny of SD dancing and singing naked in the shower. Her lyrics were "I'm a naked booty, every body loves me" and she proceeded to turn around and shake her butt. While he was laughing. I felt like this was so inappropriate on so many levels, my response back was "oh my..". I know some people look at it as innocent, I get it. But it's just weird to me on so many levels. Never could I have imagined my dad being in the bathroom at 7 and recording me naked.

Did you save it? Seriously.

Oh yes, I have it saved in a

Oh yes, I have it saved in a file!

Came back to add, i'm not

Came back to add, i'm not definitely saying you should divorce, since you have a young child. I'm not saying you shouldn't, either. Idk enough from just a few posts. But if you do divorce, you will need all the ammo you can get to get as much custody of your daughter as possible. You don't want it to be her in the video.

OH, oh, oh....very bad.

Do a consultation with a divorce lawyer to find out where you

Do a consultation with a divorce lawyer to find out where you stand in your county as far as custody. A local lawyer will have a fairly good idea about your chances of getting more custody than your DH. I am normally very pro father, but there is something seriously wrong with a Father who would video his naked 7 year old daughter in the shower. There are places in this country where that could get him arrested.

Research "mini wife" - that is exactly what you are dealing with.

if divorce wasn't so

if divorce wasn't so expensive and I didn't worry about getting fought for custody then I would have been gone a year ago.

costing you more to stay with a man who isn't changing for the better to improve your marriage

Sounds like your husband is suffering from extreme guilt about his kid from another relationship being in a multiple home family. Most kids adapt fairly well to living in 2+ homes. Mine stayed with grandparents, bio breeder, etc. and my bio is doing fairly well (honor student, full ride to top college, philanthropist, student athlete, etc) so overcompensating on kids from previous relationships (especially in a marriage with kids in the current marriage) while single may be not as harmful as it is to the dynamics of the current household/marital relationship with new kids together.

Have a serious conversation with him about it perhaps in therapy cause quite possible he'd get defensive and start gaslighting you.

Also - to give him the benefit of the doubt - maybe he's splitting childcare so (tending to his bio while you tend to the little one) so you don't have to wear yourself out dealing with both.

Maybe put some cams around the house, leave him with BOTH kids, and see how he responds...if he still neglects you alls bio then you know there is a bigger issue that needs resolution

You must realize

That if you do nothing...Nothing is going to change ... this will be your life... DH already has one fail marriage [wonder why]. And going for a second fail marriage. Nobody can or should tell you what to do.. but doing nothing isn't working