MIL has been a major issue since I can remember. MIL has an unhealthy bond with SS7 and thinks she calls the shots. DH finally reached his limit with her before Easter. She lost her mind when SS increased behavioral issues were discussed because she blames us for "causing" it and not parenting how she wants us to parent. How I am not motherly enough to SS.

DH has been fed up with MIL, but tolerated it solely because he needed to lean on her to help watch SS due to work, etc. That day, when she lost her mind and got verbally hostile again, he uninvited MIL from Easter brunch and explained he doesn't want her around if she's going to continue act like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

DH hung up on her and she proceeded to send nasty messages, threatening to take DH to court to take custody of SS, threatening to somehow get DH fired from his job, telling DH that she doesn't care about anyone else (we have 2 younger children together) and she only wants a relationship with SS, that she wouldn't bother coming to our son's 1st birthday party, but she would go to SS birthday whether she was invited or not. It's very funny because I kept saying how she played favorites and could care less about the other kids, but so many stepped in to defend MIL to say I was delusional. 

This has been going on for weeks. No apology, no sense or remorse. I blocked her on everything but DH can still receive messages from her. Now she tries to make up a reason to show up. Freaking out to get a "vest" she claims she left here which is NOT in our house. We made it clear she is not allowed on our property and we will call authorities to remove her if she comes uninvited because she even threatened to come to our house to see SS against our wishes! 

BIL loves to play Switzerland between everyone and tries to be a mediator. I expressed to DH there is no reason for his brother to get involved with something that has NOTHING to do with him. DH replies, "well he mostly agrees with us, but sees where MIL is coming from with some things". I'm sorry I didn't ask for his opinion nor do I believe ANY of MILs opinions hold any significant truth. Which is why MIL cut off. The things MIL said are unforgivable and im not going to take "well that's just what she does when she's upset" as an excuse for her horrible words and actions. That woman needs serious therapy and self work. I assume what BIL is referring to is that I do not come off as a motherly figure towards SS.

SS has a FaceTime BM. That is HIS mother. I cannot replace that void and with his agressive behaviors, it has driven me further and further away from that motherly connection. SS torments the whole house 24/7 how am I to have any positive feeling towards that?! I am not mean, I hold my boundaries like I do with everyone else. The expectations of step mom are unattainable and unrealistic. If they're not a step parent in the SAME exact situation I am in, I do not want to hear anyone's 2 cents on how I should carry myself as a step mom. 

Also, my bio kids (who are also blood related to everyone in DHs family) are constantly being left in the dust by other family members. Often times they'll request to call SS and not bother with my 2.5 year old. She is young but she can hold a short conversation and she is really feeling the exclusion lately where she will cry or put her head down and walk away. This makes me so angry. My kids deserve better. Just because my SS has more "needs" doesn't mean my kids are chopped liver!!! 

This week we discovered that SS has been hiding write up sheets from school for almost a whole month under his bed. SS teacher questioned DH why he wasn't signing the forms and returning them... well now we know. Thursday (the day before his birthday) DH received a message from SS teacher saying he now has a 7th write up for being unsafe in school, elbowing other children, being disrespectful, etc. So now SS will have a meeting with the principal soon. This is exactly what we speak about how things are increasingly getting worse, but all MIL wants to do is point the finger at us and say how horrible we are and enabling SS or other family members pretend the behaviors don't exist at all or its "quirky". 

SS is back on medication for ADHD. The PCP took him off it the 1st time because neither school or home saw much of a difference and PCP refused to change the dose. DH had to call the PCPs office 10 times to get a call back thinking we were getting a referral to a mental health clinic. In reality, they never sent a referral for months and after DH reamed them a new one, they said the PCP needed 1 more appointment to do it! So DH brought SS on Wednesday and brought all of the write ups to show the PCP that things are still are going downhill fast... so the PCP restarted SS on the SAME dose and meds that didn't work last time and once again refused to increase it at this time. Such a waste of our time. My fingers are really crossed for this mental health clinic to help advocate with us now that the referral is sent.

I also advised DH to switch pediatricians since SS PCP has been horrible about responding appropriately. My 2 bio littles go to a completely different office and I never have issues with getting ahold of at least reception to get them seen as needed.. 

Now that MIL is cut out.. I have been picking up the rest of the slack with SS that I was resistant to because of the aggressive behaviors and impulsiveness he has been demonstrating. My 2.5 year old daughter often gets injured and I see red.... during these times I usually send in DH to deal with SS.. but now that I am alone with him more often I do not have that option. DH has been gone for work overnight already this week and today he is gine fishing with BIL all day... I need a serious solution to SS behavior. I have enough on my plate with 2 littles under 3 yrs and disciplining SS has taken up most of my time with them... we realize often that SS does some behaviors to be the center of attention when he's not at that time..

I need a freaking life jacket at this point. In order to rid our lives of my toxic MIL, I must endure all of my SS's uncontrollable chaos and crappy, entitled attitude often times alone due to DHs work schedule. Some days I want to cry, other days I want to scream. When one door closes (shit), another one opens (more shittttt).