First, I would like to Thank everyone for allowing me to be part of this wonderful group. I look forward to tapping into all the vast knowledge and experiences that are available and learning from each and everone of them.

In 1988, I married my second husband. I had a 10 year old from my previous marriage that lived with us and my husband had 4 children, ages 8,6,5,3 with the 3 youngest living with us. His 3 children and my son were all encouraged to try to be one big happy family, or as I like to say, The Brady Bunch Theory. All in all, they all did well and only had minimal problems that all siblings would have. Once my son reached 19, he moved out and on his own. Once my husbands 3 children that lived with us respectively reached 18, they all moved out on their own. At that point there started to be some distance in the relationship with my husband and his children. My son still maintained a healthy relationship with his step siblings and my husband(that he felt was his father).

Over the years, the relationship that my husband had with his 4 children dwindled to barely anything. They all had very little contact with each other and absolutely no contact with me. My son, still maintained a relationship with them.

So here is where the problem begins, or maybe I am the problem. in November of 2021, i lost my husband of 33 years to Stage 4 Leukemia. My son gave the eulogy at the funeral and only 3 of his 4 children showed up at the funeral. Only 1 spoke to me at the funeral. Since then, I have no relationship with 3 of his children only the youngest one stills call to check on"Mom" as he calls me. I feel like they are all in their 30's and 40's now and are adults that can make their own decisions. I also understand that when you go thru the loss of a spouse or partner, It sends you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions and will bring out the worst in you. I am still trying to work my way thru the emotional fog of losing my husband, even after 2 years. I was their Mother figure in their lives for a very long time and to turn their backs on me is hurtful but also slightly expected. My main problem is that my son still has a very good relationship with all 4 of them even though three of them have nothing to do with me. He never puts me in a situation where I have to be in their company unless I choose to and I respect him for that. My main problem is this, I feel that my son is disrepecting me by having a relationship with them, knowing how they feel about me. Then on the other hand, he is simply doing what I had asked him to as a child and be a family. So, in all honesty, am I the one, who is being irrational? As I said, the emotional fog that a loss of a loved one puts you in, sometimes makes it difficult to see the truth and that is why I am coming to this forum. I need honest,blunt advice and opinions. I promise I will not be offended as I am wanting to do the right thing but struggle with the emotional fog. Please Help!