ASS update - OR - what could possibly go wrong?
Quick recap on ASS since he graduated from college. He got a great job as a software engineer for a major auto company and he moved to Austin, TX. Was making 65K. Worked there for about a year and then left Austin for Dallas and a new job at a start up. Was making about 100K. Good for him, right? DH flew down to Austin and helped him move to Dallas. About 6 months later, he took another job with another start up and was making about 125K. This job took him back to Austin, and DH helped him move again.
This past Christmas, ASS came back to Michigan to visit his friend Matthew. Matthew lives in Grand Rapids with his parents, and GR is where DH lived when he was married to the Beast. Matthew's house is also where ASS went to live after high school when he moved out of our home. You may remember that Matthew's mom is the one who convinced ASS to go to college. We LOVE Matthew's mom.
Shortly thereafter, ASS mentioned to DH that he might want to come back to Michigan. DH told him to start looking for a job. That was the last we heard about that. Until yesterday.
I was out running errands and when I got home, DH came downstairs and told me the following.
ASS believes that the water/air/whatever in Austin is making him sick. ASS said that when he was in GR for a week, he felt great and didn't feel sick at all so obviously, he was being poisoned in Austin (insert eye roll here). ASS has decided to quit his job and move back to GR. Okay, great, fine, right? WRONG....ASS decided that he wasn't going to look for a job because he is finally going to get around to creating that multi-billion dollar company where he can do very little and make a ton of money (also insert eyeroll here).
I said, oh, will he be moving in with Matthew and his family, cause that seems weird at age 25? NOPE - turns out that two days ago, ASS emailed the Beast and asked if he could move in with her. ASS also asked DH to come down to Austin and help him drive a U-Haul back to whereever it is that the Beast is currently living. DH said absolutely not. He also reminded ASS that the last time he saw the Beast (which was when ASS was in college) that it didn't go so well and what makes him think that this will work out in any way, shape or form? ASS said that he didn't need the Beast, but he DOES need a place to stay and apparently, she lives in a house with a dude and they rent out rooms.
DH asked if ASS was going to have to pay rent and ASS said he didn't know because he didn't ask. Because of course he didn't.
At this point in the day, KarateKid walked in the house (with all of his laundry-lol) and said "have you guys heard ASS's crazy plan? What the hell is he thinking?" We told him that yes, we knew and that we didn't have much to say about it. KarateKid said, "both of them are bat-shit crazy and I can totally see us seeing the story on the news about how badly it ends."
I asked KK how he heard about the plan and he said that ASS texted him, after not hearing a peep from him in about a year (DH took KK and BabyVoice to Austin about this time last year to visit ASS). KK said that there is no way in hell he is ever setting foot in the Beast's house and his biggest concern is that BV lives very close to GR (BV's college is right next door to GR) and he doesn't want BV being infected by either the Beast or ASS.
Long story short? ASS is using the Beast and the Beast will likely try to use him, too. During DH's conversation with ASS, DH suggested that ASS go see a doctor to see if there really is anything wrong with him medically. ASS said he has spent about 75K on functional medicine, alternative treatments, and even hired a personal chef for a bit but nothing seems to have worked. DH gently suggested that perhaps this was a bit psychosomatic, to which ASS replied, "remember how mom always thought something was wrong with her but nothing ever was? I must have gotten this from her." No kidding, ASS, no kidding.
So now the woman who will not be told what to do will be living with the man-child who will not be told what to do. DH is convinced this will end badly the first time the Beast asks him to take out the garbage or otherwise do something that he doesn't want to do. I am convinced of this as well.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Big ooooof
Hopefully that college degree doesn't become a waste of money. Does he have a loan and has he paid it off?
He has loans in his name...I
He has loans in his name...I do not know if he has paid them off.
Could be allergies if he
Could be allergies if he lives in the south, but feels better up north. There's a ton of pollen in the air in the deep south this time of year but none in Michigan yet.
Yes, and apparently, in the
Yes, and apparently, in the past when ASS has mentioned his "illness," the first thing DH did was suggest an allergist. Of course, ASS knows all and said that wasn't it....
And as for pollen not yet here? My allergies are going nuts LOL
living in Austin now...
I moved back to Texas a few months ago, now living in Austin, and this is the city where young adults his age love the dating pool, great for careers (like his), and has hiking/running, restaurants, activities and events galore.
The allergies to the cedar and oak can be crappy here. There are over the counter drops and meds that reduce symptoms. The functional medicine provider took him for a ride, OMG, $75K!! If ASS wanted to reolcate because of the heat and unpredictible weather here, that would make sense. I slept through tornadoes a few nights ago. These would seem logical to relocate.
Maybe ASS wants to leave Austin for some reason that you may never really know. Did he blow all his money? Did he get fired or will be getting laid off? Going back to live with the Beast doesn't make sense and the live-in bf of the Beast likely doesn't want him around either. Sounds like ASS will be stepping into a snakepit.
Whatt is the worst that could happen to ASS? How would it affect you and DH?
Thank goodness your DH put his foot down to not help ASS move again.
What a predicament...
Cedar allergy
The cedar allergy really got to my SIL when they lived in Austin.
So the issues that ASS is
So the issues that ASS is having are more gastro related, upset tummy, issues with elimination, that kind of thing. I don't think it is allergies at all.
I LOVE Austin and I can't believe he wants to leave, especially given his age, but ASS is always gonna ASS.
What is the worst that could happen? ASS gets bounced out of the Beast's house. How would that affect DH and me? It wouldn't - that man-baby will never live in this house again.
My friend has an allergy to
My friend has an allergy to whey. He's not lactose intolerant so it doesn't effect his gut, he gets hay fever symptoms. Sneezing, runny nose and eyes. It is so strange, he looks like he just sniffed a bale of hay but it's because he's eaten something with whey powder in it.
It took him over 10 years and 3 allergists to figure it out.
according to ASS, he has no
according to ASS, he has no food allergies.
But who knows?
I predict that the outhouse
I predict that the outhouse will collide with a windmil and the excrement will impact the rotating blades, flinging it everywhere...
My OSD moved in with BM twice
My OSD moved in with BM twice. Both times it resulted in fist fight type of situations. We just watched from the sides. DH warned her both times. She didn't listen.
this is 100% what I see
this is 100% what I see happening. The Beast lived with ASS when he was a baby and child,. I lived with him when he was a surly, rufe, entitled middle-schooler and high-schooler. Those two versions of ASS are not even remotely the same.
He really IS his mother's child, and as BabyVoice said last night (she popped in for the night and wanted to talk about this over dinner) they are oil and vinegar and this will not end well....
When ostensibly smart people embrace dumbASS.
ASS, is about to learn. Hopefully in a way that cures his stupidity.
smh
it will be interesting, that
it will be interesting, that is for sure. DH and I will just sit on the sidelines and watch. Well, DH will. I likely won't even bother to ask about it and will only hear updates when DH gets them from ASS.
I did tell DH that he needs
I did tell DH that he needs to sign the title of the car that ASS has been driving for the last 5 years (it was Thing1's car when he lived at home and in college) over to him and that he will need to come off of our insurance policy (he has been paying his portion of the cost since he graduated from college) and obtain his own.
DH looked at me like he didn't understand why I would say that. My response? Very simple, DH...I don't want ANYTHING that is connected to you or me to be anywhere near that woman. I could totally see her trying to get ASS to let her use his car, crash it and then WE would be on the hook.
DH agreed with me...
Yes, sign the car over and eleminate your risk.
We did this with the vehicle we bought when we assumed guardianship of my then 17yo SIL. A year later, she decided to leave the college program we had been paying for when she lived with us.
I would not let her and my MIL leave to go back to SpermLand until she had registered the car in her name. My MIL bowed up on me over that threatening to fly the two of them back. I told her that she and SIL were driving SIL's gifted car all the way back if I had to follow them the whole way. DW agreed with me that we needed to force the registration of the car in SIL's name. As soon as they arrived in SpermLand, we dropped the insurance.
That was one of the first times I was assertive with my IL clan. There have been other occurances since, all fully participated in by my DW... if not initiated by her.
ASS has a Michigan driver's
ASS has a Michigan driver's license and the car just got its new Michigan plates back in January. Once ASS arrives in Michigan, DH will meet him somewhere, hand him the title to the car and probably have to go to an SOS office with him. 24 hours after that, I will remove that vehicle and ASS from our policy.
When ODS became a full time
When ODS became a full time driver, and not a part time driver on one of our cars, our insurance agent advised us to put the car in his name and get him his own insurance. We were told that the multi car discount wasn't enough to offset the liability.
We tried that with SS when he started driving.
Our insurance company required all licensed drivers resident in our home to be insured on all vehicles we owned. We owned SS's car. We solved it by.... shipping him off to USAF basic training. He was no longer resident in our home.
When we paid off his car, we gave him the title to his car. As usual he procrastinated, did not transfer title and had to call in a panic because he lost the title and the shipping company was 2days away from picking up his car to ship to Germany. He figured it out... just barely.